The Fullness of Times

Getting into the Christmas Spirit

2011-11-29T15:27:00.000-08:00

I have lots and lots of things to be grateful for.

I think there may be one or two people that look at this blog, so I guess they get to know before everyone else, yes, even some family, that I am pregnant again. It is a huge blessing. I have felt awful. That is a big blessing too. I still worry about 90% of the time, but the constant sickness brings some peace that things are going as they should this time. The first few days to a week after I found out I wasn't sick at all. I worried 100% of the time then. I read posts of people who were pregnant who complained about being sick. I wanted to be them. I prayed to feel sick. I got another answer to my prayers. :) But I really am grateful for it.

However, I have felt discouraged. Over the last 11 months, I've been pregnant about 8 of them. Yet I still have about 7 months left. And those first three (plus the last three) always seem the most wearing, which I keep repeating. I'm tired of being tired all the time. I'm tired of feeling moody all the time. I'm tired of feeling fat. I'm tired of feeling like I'm an awful wife and mother because I'm not making dinners or keeping the house clean and having my husband feeling like he should be doing more. He doesn't. He's ridiculously busy I should be taking care of him and helping him and not have him come home and feel like he needs to do more. It's been kind of hard.

Then I think about my blessings and look at those feelings I have. They're all negative. And I get mad at myself for thinking those things. I'm not being grateful enough, especially during this time of thanksgiving. Everyone around me talks about what they are grateful for and I think, what is wrong with me. I need to be more like that. I just feel out of energy and don't know where to get more.

I have one more month, less than a month actually, but I'll tell myself one month before Christmas. I want it to be a month of kindness, patience, love, thanks, giving, and unity. For November I had a thankful tree. Myself and the boys added things we were grateful for to the tree throughout the month. It's good to think every day of what we are grateful for, but I know I need to do more to get me into the Christmas spirit. I feel confident I can have an uplifting Christmas season.

Someone delivered a basket to our house last night. The boys eyes lit up as they saw the treasures on our doorstep and could not wait to bring it inside to see what it held. We looked at everything, and read a note. There was a children's book about Christmas and the things in the basket had things to do with the story-a snow globe, cookies, socks, Christmas lights, etc. The boys gathered around me as I read them the story. I started to cry as I read it. The book isn't really sentimental at all, but I felt grateful for my Savior and Heavenly Father who were aware of me. He knew I needed that. A quiet moment with my kids reading them a Christmas story.

That is what I want to do everyday. Read a little Christmas story, if possible with my kids. I think it will be nice. I hope everyone can remember our Savior, His birth, His awareness of us and everything He has given us, especially this month. And if it seems difficult, find something simple, that you don't always do already anyway, to help.

Remember and Record

2011-11-21T15:23:00.000-08:00

Just a few things I liked at Stake Conference a few weeks ago.

We were taught to remember and record. We need to look for the Lord's hand in our lives. As we think about these things and write them down we will start seeing those times more frequently.

When our Stake President was a mission president, as his missionaries started looking for the Lord's hand, they soon began to expect to see the Lord's hand in their lives, because they realized it was so frequent. I know that when I am looking for it, it makes it much easier to realize it is the Lord's hand directing so many things in my life. That's one reason I like to keep this blog. It helps me to look for those times and I think it is so important to acknowledge my Heavenly Father, especially at this time of Thanksgiving. I unfortunately have not been doing good.

Another story I liked that our stake president shared was when he began asking his missionaries what they learned in the Book of Mormon that week. At first it was difficult for the missionaries to answer, but as word got around that they would be asked that, their answers became wonderful. They knew they were going to be asked, so they were looking for things they've learned. I just think there is a lot of power that comes from looking; knowing that we are responsible.

So when I set a goal to write a blog entry once a week, I need to look for learning experiences all the time, because I know in one week's time I need to record it. When I don't feel like I need to report, I start lacking. Even if I don't report on this blog, I have still been taught and am responsible to learn, grow in the gospel, and report my progress to my Heavenly Father. We can find examples of that in the scriptures.

So those were just a couple goals I set after listening to Stake Conference.

Gratitude

2011-11-21T15:22:00.001-08:00

Um, I'm totally behind on my goal. Guess I need to post.

Yesterday the talks in church were on Gratitude. Obviously a fitting topic the week before Thanksgiving. There were two things I found applicable in my own life.

One speaker mentioned his children. You give them a piece of cake but they complain about the color of the frosting, when they should be saying thank you. Goodness do my kids ever do that. And it drives me crazy. You are giving them something, being nice, but it is never good enough. They want to pick their own, have a bigger piece, just one more. So I thought, do I do that? Am I given things from my Heavenly Father, but instead of seeing the blessing I am asking for something else? When my kids are getting along, am I complaining they are too loud? It just stuck out to me because I have been feeling so frustrated with my kids lately for that reason but I never once thought if I was doing it myself on a more mature level.

Second speaker just read a bunch of things we should be grateful for. It was humorous, but made you think. The lady who sings loud and off key who sits behind you at church, because it means you can hear, clothes that are too tight because it means you have enough to eat, taxes I pay because it means I'm employed, etc. So I need to do a better job at remembering that and looking at things that way. Thankful for the messes my kids make, because it means I have 2 healthy children.

There were probably 100 other things I should be better at, but I think making a goal to think about improving in those two ways is a good start. :) Happy Thanksgiving!

Getting Answers

2011-10-13T11:55:00.000-07:00

Before General Conference I made a list of questions I wanted answered. I remember close to 10 years ago when an Institute teacher taught me to do this and promised we'd receive the answers we were looking for.

This year my list was a little longer and a little more specific. Some things have been bothering me lately and I wanted to know what I needed to be doing to overcome that. The first talk on Saturday morning I loved. The talk that followed addressed one of the things on my list and I was excited to receive more answers. However, my energy slowed as talk after talk came and I felt like it wasn't what I was looking for. It wasn't until Elder Hales' talk in the Sunday morning session I felt like I got another answer.

He said, "We may not know when or how the Lord's answers will be given, but in His time and His way, I testify, His answers will come." As I was thinking about me not receiving my answers, that stuck out to me and I realized that I didn't have to get all the questions listed on my paper answered right now. None of my questions were really about enduring trials, which I feel a lot of his talk focused on, but it was still what I needed to hear, in my circumstance.

A couple of my favorites from his talk-

"What, then, does it mean to wait upon the Lord? In the scriptures, the word wait means to hope, to anticipate, and to trust. To hope and trust in the Lord requires faith, patience, humility, meekness, long-suffering, keeping the commandments, and enduring to the end."

"Waiting upon the Lord means pondering in our hearts and 'receiv[ing] the Holy Ghost' so that we can know 'all things what [we] should do."

I just loved this, because even though I've had my recent learning experience of having patience through trials and trusting in God, I need to use those same tools to get personal answers. And with the companionship of the Holy Ghost, I can know all things what I should do.

So this talk brought me a lot of relief. While watching Conference I felt this pressure that I needed to get everything on my list answered or else I must not have listened closely enough. But during Elder Hales talk I felt like I got my answer to everything, even though they weren't direct answers. Keep living righteously. Be patient. Look and listen for answers.

I was at church the next Sunday when I received a Relief Society flier and I got really excited! It was soliciting for a meeting that Tuesday where the whole theme fit one of the things on my list. I felt, "Perfect!" This is where I am going to get my answers.

During the meeting Tuesday I listened for the spirit to nudge me on what I needed to do. And I am happy to report in one of the workshops I felt inspired to do two things and received a handout I'd still like to read through and see if there is anything else I need to hear.

So basically, I am grateful for General Conference twice a year where I feel a little more pressured to evaluate my life and see if there are any questions I'd like answered. To listen to a living prophet and apostles speak inspired words. And to be worthy to have the Holy Ghost to teach me and give me all the answers I need.

Clear Mind

2011-10-10T16:34:00.000-07:00

So I've had a big learning month. I felt my testimony strengthened in a variety of ways. Yesterday was where everyone is given the opportunity to share their testimony during sacrament meeting. I felt like I needed to, so I thought about everything I have gained a deeper insight of or appreciation for. I prayed before going to church, that I would have the spirit with me to know what to say, and if or when I should go up to share.

Well our family left for church, but while the deacons were passing the sacrament our kids started their wiggles. And they kept it up, and it escalated. And my patience was doing the opposite. I was getting frustrated and felt the spirit leaving me. Testimonies started and after a minute of silence, my kids bothering me, I figured it was a good time for me to go ahead and get up.

I got up there, and my thoughts from before of things I've learned went cloudy. I couldn't focus. I didn't just turn around and walk back down :) but I didn't get to share the things I wanted to. Maybe some people were hopefully able to get something out of it, but it was a quick learning experience for me. The spirit keeps our minds clear and focused; it helps us to know what to say, and I didn't have it with me as much as I would have liked. Next time I need to wait until I am not flustered with my children and the spirit prompts me to get up. Testimony doesn't have the same power or effect when I don't.

Dissemble

2011-10-10T16:14:00.000-07:00

There is a hymn we sing often and my Dad recently pointed out one of the words in it that I realized I never knew its meaning. The word-dissemble. I always figured it meant the opposite of assemble. We claim we will never dissemble, so we will stay united right? Wrong.

It means we won't pretend we're righteous. Dictionary defines it as "give a false or misleading appearance." If we say we are Christians, be a Christian. If we say we are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, then we need to stand for everything it stands for. I know people that put on that persona that they are living righteously, yet when no one is looking do not live up to all the standards, or when they are on vacation, it doesn't count, etc.

I just thought it was really interesting, that this song that we sing all the time, are saying we will not be "Sunday Mormons," but don't even realize it. And for those unfamiliar with the song:

Now Let Us Rejoice

Now let us rejoice in the day of salvation.
No longer as strangers on earth need we roam.
Good tidings are sounding to us and each nation,
And shortly the hour of redemption will come,
When all that was promised the Saints will be given,
And none will molest them from morn until ev'n,
And earth will appear as the Garden of Eden,
And Jesus will say to all Israel, "Come home."

We'll love one another and never dissemble
But cease to do evil and ever be one.
And when the ungodly are fearing and tremble,
We'll watch for the day when the Savior will come,
When all that was promised the Saints will be given,
And none will molest them from morn until ev'n,
And earth will appear as the Garden of Eden,
And Jesus will say to all Israel, "Come home."

In faith we'll rely on the arm of Jehovah
To guide thru these last days of trouble and gloom,
And after the scourges and harvest are over,
We'll rise with the just when the Savior doth come.
Then all that was promised the Saints will be given,
And they will be crown'd with the angels of heav'n,
And earth will appear as the Garden of Eden,
And Christ and his people will ever be one.

Text: William W. Phelps

Making Marriage Strong

2011-10-04T20:11:00.001-07:00

I remember growing up and hearing President Hinckley say he never got in a fight with his wife. I looked at marriages around me and dreamed of having the perfect marriage. I totally thought it was do-able to never have an argument and be completely unified in everything. I was so disappointed when I realized, I would not be able to make that claim. But I don't think most people can. :)

However, my husband shared a lesson he taught to his seminary class and Elders Quorum that I really liked on how we can make our marriage strong.

The lesson can be found in the story of Noah's Ark. Now I know I can't compare to Jack in what he'd be able to teach and he would involve more principles, but there are a few things I remember him saying that stuck with me.

After a recent argument, it is what immediately came to my head.

Noah was commanded to build an ark. There are a couple important things we learn about the instruction he received in Genesis 6:14 when it says "Make thee an ark of gopher wood; ... and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch."

Wood. Wood comes from trees which are living. When the people made the tower of Babel they made it with brick. Clay that comes from the earth and dirt.

Pitch. Pitch is sap that comes from trees which are living. In the story of the Tower of Babel they use slime for mortar, from the ground.

So unlike the Tower of Babel, the ark is made with living things, something that reminds us of Christ.

The ark separated Noah from the wickedness of the world. But having an ark is not good enough. Sure he'd have a boat when the rains came, but the water would seep in. He needed to pitch it within and without. He needed to seal it to protect it.

This is where we can think of marriage. We can get married in the temple. That is us separating ourselves from the world, building our boat, but that is not enough. We need that pitch, within and without. The sealing power of the atonement. Remember the pitch, that sealing power flowed from inside the tree. So like Christ's blood, flowing from him during the atonement, is what will protect us from the waters of the world seeping into our temple marriage.

We may think our temple marriage isn't perfect. That may be discouraging at times. But as long as we are striving to use the atonement constantly and consistently in our lives, we will be protected when the storms come. We can seal in those little cracks where the world comes in, little by little, until we are completely protected.

I know the atonement has the power to make us perfect, in our lives and in our marriage.

Just another little note you may be familiar with. The hebrew word for atonement is kaphar, meaning, to cover. The same definition of pitch.

Be Happy Now

2011-10-04T20:10:00.000-07:00

President Uchdorf is always fun to listen to, and his talk at the Relief Society Broadcast was no different. He titled it Forget Me Not. Yep, those little blue flowers that are beautiful, but are sometimes overlooked. So because they have 5 petals he went over 5 different things that we shouldn't forget. My favorite was "Forget Not to Be Happy Now."

He talked about the Golden Ticket from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. On the golden ticket was written "Greetings to you, the lucky finder of this Golden Ticket...! Tremendous things are in store for you! Many wonderful surprises await you! ... Mystic and marvelous surprises...will...delight,...astonish, and perplex you." Everyone wants to find this golden ticket, and some feel they cannot be happy without it. President Uchdorf says, "In their anxiousness, people begin to forget the simple joy they used to find in a candy bar. The candy bar itself becomes an utter disappointment if it does not contain a golden ticket."

How many of us can relate to this in practically any scenario in our life? I know there are some things that I used to love, are no longer good enough, because I am looking for more. I need to remember that, I still have a candy bar! And that's pretty good.

He also said, "There is nothing wrong with righteous yearnings-we hope and seek after things that are 'virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy.' The problem comes when we put our happiness on hold as we wait for some future event-our golden ticket-to appear...The lesson here is that if we spend our days waiting for fabulous roses, we could miss the beauty and wonder of the tiny forget-me-nots that are all around us."

It seems like I've often heard to treasure the moment, but for some reason this analogy had more meaning to me. I felt like I understood it more and could relate to it in a wider variety of circumstances. Maybe because he's using chocolate. :) But I was grateful for that reminder and insight and his whole talk is awesome if you want to read more you can find it here.

The Holy Ghost

2011-09-19T07:47:00.000-07:00

All of my posts lately have referred back to this one experience, but I want to be sure to record everything I have learned and felt during this time. After my doctor visit Jack said we both needed to think about how the Holy Ghost talks to us. Yesterday in church the first talk was on Elder Bednar's last talk given in General Conference, The Spirit of Revelation. In the recent broadcast I attended for seminary teachers Elder Bednar referred again to this talk. Despite me having heard it several times, I knew I wanted to go back and read it again.

At first thought one may think, I thought you wanted to learn about the Holy Ghost. This talk is on revelation. But those two are completely connected. The Prophet Joseph Smith taught "the Holy Ghost is a revelator" and "no man can receive the Holy Ghost without receiving revelations." That is kind of cool.

Elder Bednar begins the talk describing 2 ways of seeing light. First, being in the dark and flipping a light switch-instant illumination. Second, the sun coming over the horizon-we see light, little by little until it fills the sky. Both bring light. Then he compares light to revelation. Giving the example of Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery translating the Book of Mormon, he says they learned that 'over time they increasingly understood the spirit of revelation typically functions as thoughts and feelings that come into our minds and hearts by the power of the Holy Ghost. Though not non-existent, it is rarely an angel coming to answer our prayers. In fact President Joseph F. Smith said, "Show me Latter-day Saints who have to feed upon miracles, signs and visions in order to keep them steadfast in the Church, and I will show you members...who are not in good standing before God, and who are walking in slippery paths. It is not by marvelous manifestations unto us that we shall be established in the truth, but it is by humility and faithful obedience to the commandments and laws of God."

Elder Bednar wasn't complete in his examples of seeing light and gave one last example. The sun rising on a cloudy day. It is harder to see the light. It may come up, but we don't really know when it came up saying "In a similar way, we many times receive revelation without recognizing precisely how or when we are receiving revelation." Then follows with another example by Oliver Cowdery being led to Joseph Smith to assist in the translation. The Lord tells him, "Behold, thou knowest that thou has inquired of me and I did enlighten thy mind; and now I tell thee these things that thou mayest know that thou hast been enlightened by the Spirit of truth." He had been walking under the sun on a cloudy day, and did not realize the light was there.

I obviously really like this example and when I heard the speaker say this yesterday I thought, "That was me!" I received thoughts and feelings by the power of the Holy Ghost. I prayed and He did enlighten my mind. Those experiences come by humility and faithful obedience to the commandments and laws of God. My favorite quote from Bednar's article, which turns out to be a whole paragraph is this-

"In many of the uncertainties and challenges we encounter in our lives, God requires us to do our best, to act and not be acted upon, and to trust in Him. We may not see angels, hear heavenly voices, or receive overwhelming spiritual impressions. We frequently may press forward hoping and praying-but without absolute assurance-that we are acting in accordance with God's will. But as we honor our covenants and keep the commandments, as we strive ever more consistently to do good and to become better, we can walk with the confidence that God will guide our steps. And we can speak with the assurance that God will inspire our utterances. This is in part the meaning of the scripture that declares, 'Then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God."

God's Promises

2011-09-16T10:50:00.001-07:00

Our Heavenly Father has made promises to all of us. We can learn about those promises from reading the scriptures. The prophet can make promises to us from our Heavenly Father. One of the most prominent in my head is the Book of Mormon Challenge issued by President Gordon B. Hinckley in 2005. He asked us to read it before the end of the year giving this promise at the end. I have attended Stake Conferences and heard the Stake President issue promises (these also come from our Heavenly Father). And I have heard promises come from Heavenly Father in the form of priesthood blessings. There are so many blessings we can be had if we exercise faith in those promises and do our part. Because something I know, without doubt, is that God will always keep his promises.

Those that follow this blog know I was given a promise in a blessing. I decided to heed the blessing, practicing patience and exercising faith. One day passed, then 2, then 3, until 36 days had passed and there was still nothing. When I say nothing, I mean, I had no confirmation that the promise was kept, until I decided to go against what was being recommended by a doctor and requesting something I felt I needed to do. I felt this for awhile, but was hesitant, because I knew it made no sense logically. I know now that it was the Holy Ghost telling me this. I went in for an ultrasound and everything was clear. And had most likely been clear for 33 of those 36 days. The promise was kept 3 days after it was given, but I did not know. I was not given any sign. I continued for those 5 weeks believing, trying to keep fear, doubt, and worry out.

Immediately after this experience Jack compared it to the prophet Lehi. In the very first chapter he was told Jerusalem would be destroyed and to take his family into the wilderness. He trusted in that and left, not knowing if what was promised was true. He knew their lives were spared, but were the wicked actually destroyed? Days, months, years passed and he still did not know. In Chapter 17 we learn he is given another promise- "Yea, and the Lord said also that: After ye have arrived in the promise land, ye shall know that I, the Lord, and God; and that I, the Lord, did deliver you from destruction; yea, that I did bring you out of the land of Jerusalem." Okay, so he is finally told Jerusalem was destroyed. But he still did not have evidence of that. It was still years later, after they got to America, in 2 Nephi, chapter 1 he finally sees the vision that Jerusalem was destroyed, and they would have been to if they stayed.

For me it was after listening to the spirit and taking action, going against what 'the world' would tell me to do and what I needed, I saw a miracle. (I was told Jerusalem was destroyed). The very next day I received the evidence that my body was back on track and working the way it was designed. Confirmation that was everything was fine, and in fact, good (I saw the vision).

There have been some interesting things to learn from this experience that I am thankful for. And the scripture, 'ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith" (Ether 12:6) brings personal, deeper meaning.

P.S. I feel like saying my (and my husband's) faith in this blessing bringing about a miracle of promise neglects another important act. Sunday night my husband decided to begin a fast. This fast lasted longer than a normal 2 meal fast. He fasted as long as he needed. He is such an example to me (and to our children) of someone who believes in the power of God and the promises that come through prayer and fasting. I am so thankful to him and his faith that added to this little miracle in our lives.

Good Things to Come

2011-09-08T19:02:00.001-07:00

I like that no matter how often you may see something or read something, it can mean different things to you and you can learn new things depending on circumstances in your life. The scriptures are a constant reminder of that. This video is another one-

Fasting

2011-09-04T08:09:00.000-07:00

Fasting is one of those things my parents taught us well when we were younger. I knew it was important to them and usually didn't have a problem waiting until 4:00 or 5:00 to eat. I tried fasting for a purpose and as I grew up experienced testimony builders of the power of fasting.

However, when I got pregnant for the first time (over 4 years ago), I thought it was kind of cool I didn't have to fast. :) I was pregnant for 9 months, nursed for 12, got pregnant again for 9 months, nursed for 12, got pregnant again. Do the math, I went 45 months only fasting maybe 2 times. And I did begin to miss it. I could still see the power of fasting and watched Jack do special fasts several times, but I felt like I was missing out.

I remember fasting for the first time after my first miscarriage, and finding it funny one of the first things I thought about when I found out about my second one was that I was going to get to fast again. I really wanted to take advantage of it so studied the topic the week before Fast Sunday approached. I appreciated my experience reading and one aspect I really liked was the following-

"This account teaches that prayer and fasting can give added strength to those giving and receiving priesthood blessings."

I really liked that. The account it is referring to is Christ with his disciples. "One one occasion the Savior cast a devil out from a child and used this experience to teach His disciples about the power of prayer and fasting. His disciples asked Him, 'Why could not we cast him out?' Jesus answered: 'Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you. Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting." (Matthew 17:14-21).

It follows this account by saying, "Like the demon that Christ cast out, our difficulty may be the kind that will go out only through prayer and fasting."

I knew what I wanted to fast for. It was a wonderful Fast Sunday, and I found it fitting that our bishop who opened the meeting talked about the power of fasting and that tended to be a theme throughout the remainder of time. I also forgot how good food and water tastes after not having it :) I know fasting can give us strength and prepare us for receiving our Heavenly Father's blessings.

*These quotes were all found under Gospel Study-Fasting and Fast Offerings

Music

2011-09-04T07:52:00.000-07:00

I was sitting on the couch one Sunday morning while Jack was at meetings. He had left the CD player going and a song came on that took me back 11 years. When I met Jack. I sat listening, smiling, and remembering the beginning of our relationship.

We met at EFY. The theme that year was Forward with Faith. We have taken that and applied it to be our theme in marriage. His wedding ring has the inscription "Faith" in hebrew (the design used for that year in EFY). One of our first Christmas' he gave me a necklace with this same inscription. I love that. But it wasn't until I heard a song from the CD we received that year that brought back certain memories. Sitting in my friend's room whom I went to EFY with after we came back from an awesome week. We pulled out the CD and listened while I sat crushing on this amazing boy I met. :)

This experience reminded me of the power of music. The first presidency has said-

"Inspirational music is an essential part of our church meetings. The hymns invite the Spirit of the Lord, create a feeling of reverence, unify us as members, and provide a way for us to offer praises to the Lord.

Some of the greatest sermons are preached by the singing of hymns. Hymns move us to repentance and good works, build testimony and faith, comfort the weary, console the mourning, and inspire us to endure to the end" (Hymns, 1985, p.ix).

Music is a pretty incredible thing. We use a lot of it in church, but we're also supposed to make wholesome music of all kinds a part of our life. It doesn't always have to be hymns we listen to, but we do need to be careful.Elder Boyd K. Packer has said "Now a warning! Some music is spiritually very destructive. You young people know what kind that is. The tempo, the sounds, and the lifestyle of those who perform it repel the Spirit. It is far more dangerous than you may suppose, for it can smother your spiritual senses." I love that. It's an eye opener to me that even the tempo or lifestyle of the person singing that can be 'very' destructive.

I have made a goal to listen to more wholesome music. Let's be honest, I rarely listen to music at all. I'm home all day, never drive in a car anymore which is when I used to listen to music the most. And when my kids want music, it is usually Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. However, my husband is a great example of what wholesome music is. I appreciate the groups he listens to and that we can all enjoy it as a family. We picked up a couple CDs from Seagull Book where I know they are wholesome people singing wholesome songs. I think it's good to surround ourselves with those things rather than what is on the radio, especially when you don't have control over what comes on next.

My last big goal is to listen to more hymns. I admit I was a 'hymns are only for Sunday' girl. But reading what our general authorities have said about music it makes me realize 'sacred music has to do with revelation...Secular music may be inspiring in a classical or popular sense, but it will not prepare your mind to be instructed by the spirit as will sacred music." I would love to have more personal revelation on a daily basis and not limit myself to those moments only on Sundays. I need to include hymns and reverence as a daily part of my life.

Just to end with a quote I liked-

"It seems that iniquity abounds on all sides, with the Adversary taking full advantage of the time remaining to him in this day of his power. The leaders continually cry out against that which is intolerable in the sight of the Lord: against pollution of mind and body and our surroundings; against vulgarity, stealing, lying, cheating, false pride, blasphemy, and drunkenness; against fornication, adultery, homosexuality, abortion, and all other abuses of the sacred power to create; against murder and all that is like unto it; against all manner of degradation and sin."

I was amazed reading this list. That not only the fact are we warned that music can pollute our mind, but all those other awful things are what a majority of music is about nowadays. If Satan can't make you commit adultery yet, he'll just sing songs about it, get it in our head, until we do think it is okay, no matter how off course it may seem now.

I am grateful for the influence music can have on us, and am ever more dedicated to be aware what that music is doing to my spirit.

Patience

2011-08-22T11:29:00.000-07:00

President Uchdorf always gives great talks at conference. The one he gave in April 2010 was entitled Continue in Patience. He told of an experiment with children that was just interesting. If you're not familiar with it, read it, but it showed patience was a key character trait that may predict later success in life. Patience is a good thing to develop. And it seems my entire life I have been told I need to exercise and develop patience.

With recent circumstances I thought I was exercising patience. I was waiting. And I wasn't complaining...until my timeline for patience was running out. Things were going to start getting really inconvenient. The thing is, when you're really exercising patience, you don't have a timeline, Heavenly Father does, and even though you don't know what it is, you trust it.

It was really hard to realize this. I felt myself losing patience. I felt fear rising greater and greater. I didn't like that I was allowing myself to do that, so I felt confused. For me, I thought, I am being patient, how come nothing is coming. I hadn't completely put myself in his hands.

One part of President Uchdorf's talks that stuck out most to me was the following:

"The children of Israel waited 40 years in the wilderness before they could enter the promised land. Jacob waited 7 long years for Rachel. The Jews waited 70 years in Babylon before they could return to rebuild the temple. The Nephites waited for a sign of Christ's birth, even knowing that if the sign did not come, they would perish. Joseph Smith's trials in Liberty Jail caused even the prophet of God to wonder, "How long?"

In each case, Heavenly Father had a purpose in requiring that His children wait.

Every one of us is called to wait in our own way. We wait for answers to prayers. We wait for things which at the time may appear so right and so good to us that we can't possibly imagine why Heavenly Father would delay the answer. ... I learned that God's promises are not always fulfilled as quickly as or in the way we might hope; they come according to His timing and in His ways."

This totally spoke to me. Plus, I like to hear I'm not the only one waiting. In fact, I'm not even having to wait that long. It just broadened my view of how hard it is waiting. Heavenly Father has a purpose in requiring I wait.

A scripture I liked most when studying is that I need to 'continue in patience until ye are perfected." The idea that I am perfecting myself by waiting was admirable. I wanted to be able to do that. President Uchdorf closed his talk by saying "It is my prayer ...that we will courageously trust the Lord's promises and His timing ... and that we will continue in patience until we are perfected." Amen. :)

Patience - (personal experience)

2011-08-22T09:24:00.000-07:00

That is the word that has been in my head for the last two weeks since finding out about my impending miscarriage.

The blessing I received once I found out told me my body would work the way it was designed. With my last miscarriage these words were the same, but this time it included the words, 'be patient.' Last time my body took 6 weeks to realize the baby was no longer growing and after an ultrasound the doctor said it could be another week before it passed. I was tired of waiting (it had been 2 weeks since I found out and I did not want to wait any longer). Plus, Jack had the day off, my mom was in town, so I opted for the surgery and felt good about that decision. Afterwards the doctor said he was glad they did the surgery, for various reasons, but also said it looked like it was going to happen on its own that day once he was in.

It has been 2 weeks again since I found out. I know I have mentioned, probably 100 times, how hard it is just waiting. I feel like I can not commit to anything. If someone asks if I can watch their kids on a certain day, if my presidency is trying to plan a time everyone can meet, if I want to plan a camping trip, I just never know for sure. And for those that don't know about my situation it makes it especially awkward and difficult. Plus, I'm a planner, so basically, it's been hard.

My husband starts his masters program today, in a city 60 miles north from where we live. Basically he will only be around when we're sleeping, and the weekends. The thought of having to go through it alone, with 2 kids has been stressful and scary. I had been hoping it would pass before this time came. I knew I was supposed to be patient, and I thought I had been. But in the back of my head I always figured, patient for a few days, a week, 2 weeks tops. It will happen before my husband becomes ridiculously busy. My Heavenly Father isn't going to make me go through this without Jack. Well, the time has come for me to try my faith.

Those words 'be patient' have been implanted in my brain. I have studied the topical guide, scriptures and various talks about patience, trying to understand what exactly it means and what I should be doing. Yesterday I asked my beloved husband who is always such a help how long I was supposed to be patient. :) I was trying to decide if I go ahead with the surgery or continue waiting, and along with that mentioned I was kind of tired of waiting. He asked how long Sarah had to wait. Almost 100 years. And I realized these 2 weeks of waiting, okay, I'll give myself benefit and say approximately 2 years (from the time I first got pregnant to when I will hopefully have another child), but this time of waiting is nothing. Surely I can exercise patience and trust in the Lord.

I feel like now I truly am allowing myself to exercise patience (and faith), knowing it may take another month. I need to trust Heavenly Father is in control and he will do what is for my good. I need to have faith in the blessing I received, and faith involves no fear. Fear doesn't come from Him, so I need to rid myself of that fear that it may come at the most inopportune time. And I guess it could. But I know that Heavenly Father will be there to help me. I will be able to do it, and it will work out when it is best for me. It's a good feeling, making that decision. I can stop worrying about what I should do, when it will come, how it will be, but experience what true patience feels like. Wish me luck! ;)

Hope

2011-08-11T08:20:00.000-07:00

When I found out I was pregnant again I was unsure what I should be feeling. I wasn't really excited, perhaps nervous because of the previous miscarriage, but I didn't like the idea of being pessimistic and worrying for the next 3 months either. I was confused and didn't want to get overly excited to be disappointed or ungrateful by doubting. I asked my husband where you find that medium, or what it is; what was I supposed to be feeling. He responded, 'hope.' I accepted that answer.

When I was at my 4th doctor appointment earlier this week I laid on the table while she did another ultrasound. The baby looked bigger, I felt relief, but waited in silence for the tech to say something. I didn't see a heartbeat, but last time I didn't see or hear it until she switched to a different screen so I wasn't too worried. She finally spoke, 'Here is the sac, here is the baby. It is bigger, but not as big as we'd like." My heart dropped a little since at my last appointment they moved my due date back 10 days. I thought, they're going to push it back even more? Still clueless to what she was saying, then more words came, "and I don't see a heartbeat this time." ... She turned on the sound and I heard empty fuzz with the heart monitor going flat across the screen. I had lost this baby too. And my heart sunk a little deeper.

That night I sat alone and kept repeating, "I don't want to do this again. I don't want to do this again" as tears streamed down my face. It's a difficult place to be. I knew a miscarriage was coming. I knew how hard it was, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. Just wait for it-not knowing when it would come, but that it would come. And it was going to be hard. I didn't want to do it. But with President Mckay seemingly in my head all the time right now I thought of him and what he was called to do. It wasn't easy for him, but it was his mission and he decided to learn from the experience, accept it, and do it well. I decided, this is my mission right now. I am being called to go through this again. So I need to do my best. I can do it, and I can do it without falling into despair. (you may find that silly to compare the two, but for me it brought some comfort)

So when the answer was hope when I found out I was pregnant, the answer is still hope now. I needed it at the beginning, I need it to get through this, and I'll need it after.

President Uchdorf gave a really good talk in October General Conference 2008 entitled The Infinite Power of Hope. He says

"Hope has the power to fill our lives with happiness. ... The adversary uses despair to bind hearts and minds in suffocating darkness. Despair drains from us all that is vibrant and joyful and leaves behind the empty remnants of what life was meant to be. Despair kills ambition, advances sickness, pollutes the soul, and deadens the heart. Despair can seem like a staircase that leads only and forever downward.

Hope, on the other hand, is like the beam of sunlight rising up and above the horizon of our present circumstances. It pierces the darkness with a brilliant dawn. It encourages and inspires us to place our trusting the loving care of an eternal Heavenly Father, who has prepared a way for those who seek for eternal truth in a world of relativism, confusion, and of fear."

Just listening to those descriptions of despair and hope, obviously hope is what we want. And when I knew I didn't want to worry (or despair) at the beginning of the pregnancy, I needed hope. Romans 8:24 says "...hope that is seen is not hope..." So when you hope you do not know. I didn't know what the outcome of the pregnancy would be, but I hoped for a baby to join our family in 9 months.

President Uchdorf taught that the things "we hope in sustain us during our daily walk. They uphold us through trials, temptations, and sorrow. ... We hope in Jesus the Christ, in the goodness of God, in the manifestations of the Holy Spirit, in the knowledge that prayers are heard and answered. Because God has been faithful and kept His promises in the past, we can hope with confidence that God will keep His promises to us in the present and in the future. In times of distress, we can hold tightly to the hope that things will 'work together for [our] good' as we follow the counsel of God's prophets. This type of hope in God, His goodness, and His power refreshes us with courage during difficult challenges and gives strength to those who feel threatened by enclosing walls of fear, doubt, and despair."

Though with hope you do not know, the expectations are 'with surety' true. I have been promised I'll have more children. I have a Savior and through the power of the atonement I can return to a Heavenly Father who loves me. He hears my prayers and knows the desires of my heart. He will keep His promises. And things will work out for my good. I can easily hope in these things. I had hoped for them. I hoped for Heavenly Father to keep his promises and hear my prayers and bless me with a strong, healthy, beautiful, righteous spirit. Now that I know the timing isn't what I hoped, I need to hope in them, to sustain me until it does come. Now I need the confidence that "if I live according to God's laws and the words of His prophets now, I will receive desired blessings in the future."

"Happy is he,' said the Psalmist, 'that hath the God of Jacob for his help, whose hope is in the Lord his God' (Psalm 146:5). With hope, we can find joy in life. We can 'have patience, and bear with ... afflictions with a firm hope that ye shall one day rest from all your afflictions' (Alma 34:41). We can 'press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life" (2 Nephi 31:20).

Honesty

2011-08-09T08:05:00.000-07:00

I was browsing my friends' facebook posts again this morning and one caught my eye. A friend of mine said-

"I sincerely think the Lord is testing my resolve to be honest. In the last few days I've had 4 different experiences where I was undercharged or given too much change and had to make the situation right. I think I'm going to pay more attention to my receipts. Who knows what I've been missing. CRAZY!"

The reply from one of her friends was-

"Or maybe he's trying to give you a break. Have you heard the story about the guy who's stuck on the roof of his house, in a flood? a couple of boats come by and try to save him, and he says "God will save me." And then he dies. and gets to heaven and asks God why He didn't save him, and God says 'I sent a couple of boats.' I'm just saying, maybe God thinks you need a couple extra bucks. Just something to think about..."

I don't know how many people believe this, it had received a few likes, but I can't help but completely disagree. Our Heavenly Father is honest. He wants us to be honest. As members of the church we believe in being honest. He will not use deceitful means to bless you. These people who accidentally gave extra change would not have balanced their books correctly at the end of the day. He's going to bless you while at the same time harming someone else? Of course not.

I remember being in an institute class and the teacher was talking about getting rich quick schemes. He knew somebody that was given an opportunity to make a lot of money really quickly and the guy took it as an answer to his prayer. He felt he was given this opportunity because he had been having financial trouble and was praying for help. But Proverbs 28:20 we read "A faithful man shall abound with blessings: but he that maketh haste to be rich shall not be innocent." We need to work hard and keep the commandments, that includes being honest. We will receive blessings if we do those things, not following Satan in being dishonest and attributing it as a blessing.

I decided to strengthen my own testimony of being honest and read a few talks and lessons found on lds.org. I enjoyed everything I read and there were so many good scriptures, quotes, and thoughts. I found most focused on three truths- God is a God of truth, Satan is the father of lies, and we have been commanded to be honest.

Because I could be here forever writing down things I liked I'll leave just a couple I thought went well with the scenario I gave about a temptation we may face and should remember.

1.) Alma 7:20 "I perceive that it has been made known unto you , by the testimony of his word, that he cannot walk in crooked paths; neither doth he vary from that which he hath said; neither hath he a shadow of turning from the right to the left, or from that which is right to that which is wrong; there, his course is one eternal round."

2.) "Satan would have us believe it is all right to lie. He says, 'Yea, lie a little; ... there is no harm in this' (2 Nephi 28:8). Satan encourages us to justifiy our lies to ourselves. Honest people will recognize Satan's temptations and will speak the whole truth, even if it seems to be to their disadvantage." When we cheat, lie, deceive, misrepresent by actions, words, looks, or silence, we become his slaves.

I know that when we choose to be honest we are becoming more like our Heavenly Father. We will receive blessings and be able to help others to be honest too. I was able to see St. George Live this week and 'meet' Jacob Hamblin. He is an inspiring person to learn about if you don't know anything about him. He held the reputation among the Indians, "Jacob Hamblin never tells a lie. Jacob Hamblin is an honest man." I want people to be able to say that about me.

Act Well Thy Part

2011-08-05T08:50:00.000-07:00

When we were in Las Vegas my parents had a documentary on David O McKay saved on their DVR. Jack and I watched it and it was very good. One of the things it talked about was the turning point on his mission. In case you're unfamiliar with this story an excerpt from the Presidents of the Church manual says

"After he graduated from the university, he planned to marry Emma Ray and teach at Weber Academy, where he had been offered a teaching contract. His plans were changed, however, when he received a mission call to Scotland. The first months of David's mission were difficult. Only a short time before, he had been one of the most popular men on the campus at the University of Utah. Now he was among strangers and very unpopular. He tells in his own words how he was humbled and how the Lord taught him:

'I was homesick and a little discouraged on this day. ... I had just left school. I loved school and I loved young people. ... I was with Peter G. Johnston, one of the truest friends in all the world. ... As we were coming back into town, I saw on my right an unfinished dwelling, over the front door of which was a stone on which there was a carving. That was most unusual, so I said to Elder Johnston, 'I'm going to see what that is.' I was half way up the graveled walk when there came to my eyesight a striking motto as follows, carved in stone:

'Whate'er Thou Art, Act Well Thy Part'

I repeated it to Elder Johnston. ... We walked quietly, but I said to myself, or the Spirit within me, 'You are a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. More than that, you are here as a representative of the Lord Jesus Christ. You accepted the responsibility as a representative of the Church.' ....

That afternoon, by the time we found our lodgings, I accepted the message given to me on that stone, and from that moment we tried to do our part as missionaries in Scotland."

It's a cool story and when we were in Salt Lake a couple weeks later we were able to see that stone in the Church History Museum. Then just a couple days ago when we attended a broadcast for seminary teachers and their wives where one speaker told of this story once again. He broadened my knowledge though when he explained the images on the stone.

He taught it is a magic square. That each square represents a number and that when added each side, in all directions, will always equal 18. If you move any symbol to another square, it loses its value and the square will no longer be magic. That is really cool when you put it with the statement, 'Whate'er thou art, act well thy part.' You are important where you are and you need to do what is expected of you.

Given my several experiences with this story in a short amount of time caused me to reflect on it extra long. I had a Primary Presidency Meeting that afternoon and I was in charge of spiritual thought. I decided to focus on this message. However, when I got to my meeting I became frustrated that they didn't use the outline I had prepared, didn't ask me for my spiritual thought and I felt like all the work I had done as secretary was pointless.

When arriving home I shared my frustrations with my husband that I felt like the meeting wasn't very productive and there was no reason for me to have even gone. He asked if I believed in the spiritual thought I had prepared. ... I was secretary in the primary and so I needed to do 'well my part.' It doesn't matter if it feels like you're unappreciated or that what you're doing isn't making a difference, you do it. And you do it the best you can.

I guess it was a good experience for me because now I feel like I need to do that even more. Focus on doing my best and not worrying about the things around me. With President McKay's experience I was thinking sometimes our life hands us things that are unexpected, or that we may not necessarily want. President McKay had plans to get married. He had lots of friends, was popular and successful.. A lot of that changed, not necessarily by choice, and it changed fast. I'm sure it was a difficult situation for a young man and so many of us face things like that now. But no matter what we're given, no matter what stage in life we are, we need to accept it and excel in it. I think we should all think about what our roles are. At work, in the home, in church, any position we hold. Are we doing it well? And if not, change.

Matthew 7:21 says "Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven, but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven." Heavenly Father has complete control over our lives. The things that are placed in our journey of life are the will of the Father for us-to learn or grow or help others, we don't always know. But we do need to know it is his hand over it all and then do his will (which is to do our best). As we accept 'what we art, and act well our part', we qualify ourselves to enter in the kingdom of heaven.

P.S. I have been doing great at doing my part in calling people for reminders and taking vitamins :)

Personal Revelation

2011-07-28T09:11:00.000-07:00

Well, since my new determination to use this blog more, my efforts are to make it a journal with different experiences I have, things I've learned, or am studying. You know, not every day life but hopefully an insight to my life as well as lessons we can all learn from the gospel of Jesus Christ. I think I'll enjoy looking back at this time in my life, and maybe my kids will too when they're big...

So I've entered a new stage in life. After I graduated High School I went to college, then got married, worked, had kids, and now that my husband has a career and we own a home we are no longer 'unsettled.' Let's face it, before you get to this point you constantly meet new people, move 100 times, okay, maybe not that much. But lots of things seem to always be changing and the people you are around are basically the same way.

Well, we've lived here for almost a year and a half. My baby is over a year and a half. I've had the same calling for almost a year and a half. It is strange. And kind of hard. I've never had that before, ever. I keep waiting for a change. I feel like I'm getting bored of the same thing every day. And right now, I'm not real sure how to fix it.

But as I laid in bed discouraged last night, I realized the only thing I can do is to pray. Not pray that I will enjoy it, or be happier, but what I can do, so that I will enjoy it more. Some things aren't going to change any time soon. We're not moving. I'm not getting released. A new baby doesn't show up the next day. And all that is okay, I don't need those things to change, but I need to find out what I should be doing so that I don't feel like I'm in a mundane routine. Heavenly Father will help me. I am looking forward to this challenge. I'm not the best at receiving personal revelation, and it will be good for me. Continue in scripture study and prayer asking and looking for an answer. I'll let you know what I come to. :)

On the lds.org website you can find under the definition of revelation - "According to our faithfulness, we can receive revelation to help us with our specific personal needs, responsibilities, and questions and to help us strengthen our testimony."

1 Corinthians 2:12 - "Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God."

No Motivation.... Why?

2011-07-26T10:38:00.000-07:00

Lately there have been a few things that I think I should do, or know I should do, but just don't do them. I can't get myself to actually do it.

Some things are like taking vitamins. When you're trying to get pregnant, or are pregnant, you should take vitamins right? Well, I've never been good at that and didn't with my 2 kids. Occasionally, but not faithful at all and they are healthy as can be. This last pregnancy... took them every day. And it ended in miscarriage. So naturally, vitamins cause miscarriage. I know this is silly, but something is holding me back from doing it. Fear.

Other things are like making reminder calls for my calling in church. I'm primary secretary and like to call on Wednesday or Thursday to remind the kids' parents they are giving a talk or scripture the next week. The last couple weeks Wednesday comes and goes. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and every day I think, I need to call them. But don't. Why?! Then Sunday comes and I get all nervous they may have forgotten and I should have called to remind them. Stupid.

So how come I don't have this motivation? I was complaining to my husband asking him to help me and why I've been like this. He simply said Satan.

Ugh. Really? I guess so. Yep. Fear comes from Satan. Fear in the sense of lacking faith. And not fulfilling my calling. It makes me feel crummy about myself, and I guess that is Satan's goal. So now that I know Satan is the one 'making' me like this and enjoying it, I need to change.

Marion G. Romney said in a talk entitled Satan-the Great Deceiver that Satan is the father of lies. To believe them is to surrender to him. He talks about 2 lies in particular (there is no God & Satan is not real), but not acknowledging there is a devil can be damaging. He says "such surrender has always led, is leading now, and will continue to lead men to destruction."

Other excerpts from his talk-

During the vision given to Moses, the Lord said:

"...because...Satan rebelled against me, and sought to destroy the agency of mean, which I, the Lord God, had given him, and also, that I should give unto him mine own power; by the power of mine Only Begotten, I caused that he should be cast down. And he became Satan, yea, even the devil, the father of all lies, to deceive and to blind men, and to lead them captive at his will, even as many as would not hearken unto my voice." (Moses 4:3-4).

Satan is evil: totally and always. He ever seeks to defeat the gospel plan and "destroy the souls of men." (D&C 10:27).

"... he persuadeth no man to do good, no, no one; neither do his angels; neither do they who subject themselves unto him." (Moroni 7:17).

Just reading through some of these scriptures reminds me of Satan's whole desire is to take away our agency, destroy the souls of men, no man to do good, and become subject to him. Reading through it really motivated me to be on guard and make sure I don't fall into temptation to any of his lies.

Pioneer Day

2011-07-26T08:04:00.000-07:00

Another Pioneer Day has come and gone. This year I'm serving in the Primary and have gotten to hear pioneer songs for a few weeks. They are in my head a lot and this has helped me in my daily actions think more about pioneers and appreciate all the sacrifices they made even more. Especially when I got bit by a spider and found only little relief from ice water and tylenol-something pioneers didn't have.

We've done some pioneer activities lately too. A week ago we were able to visit the Mormon Batallion in Old Town San Diego. I encourage everyone to go if they're in the area. It is a great presentation and the spirit testified to me a couple times of their faith and trust in the Lord, obedience in following the prophet, and hard work they did. I love getting a glimpse of what it would be like to live then. It increases my testimony and I feel closer to them.

In Primary the theme for the month has been on the temples and one week we focused on the first temples in the Latter-Days. We can learn so much from the pioneers as we study their lives and sacrifices. How difficult it was for the people to build the Kirtland temple-the women smashing china so the temple would be beautiful, men staying up all night to protect it from people wanting to destroy it, and so many other hardships they faced in their effort to build a House of God. I am amazed at the dedication of Brigham Young in getting as many saints to the temple before leaving Nauvoo. He went home just once a week and only got 4 hours of sleep a night. He knew the Saints needed the protection and strength from receiving their temple blessings before making their trek west. I felt their love and determination. We need to have that same attitude and make whatever sacrifices needed to get to the temple as often as we can.

Lastly we hiked the Temple Quarry trail here in St. George. We left about 10 am. About 5 minutes in our oldest started complaining. He was hot. And too tired to walk. It was hot. Like really hot. But I loved walking the trail thinking about the pioneers. They were here. Not only did they leave Nauvoo to go west. Their effort to follow God never stopped. When they arrived it was continuous hard work as they began building temples once again. There were no tools or transportation like we have today. It was hot. With no relief of an air conditioning or ice cold drink. We carried our boys and sang as we walked. I felt great love and appreciation for the pioneers (as well as love and appreciation for living today and not back then! :) After finishing the trail we went to the temple and admired its beauty and workmanship. We saw the cannon used to pound the lava rock into the ground to have a sure foundation. It was a wonderful day.

On the evening of Pioneer Day we watched some church history clips and heard President Hinckley, President Monson, and President Faust testify of the pioneers. Their testimony brings the spirit of truth. I am grateful for the pioneers and living prophets today.

House of Order

2011-07-14T11:34:00.000-07:00

When I was visiting my grandparents a couple weeks ago I got to talk with my Grandma and hear some of her isms. She likes to share these, and though some of them I think, 'Grandma, you are crazy!' like when she says parents should potty train their kids by the time they are 6 weeks old, some things I like to hear what she has to say.

I like the idea of documenting what my Grandma believed in so I decided to dedicate a post to having 'a house of order.' Her rant came when talking about parents that eat dinner at different times every day and keep their kids up really late and don't have routine in their life. She said 'kids need a routine. And Heavenly Father told us we need to have a house of order. That means not having a chaotic life.' She believes kids will be better disciplined, well-behaved when they have order. And that is something worth thinking about.

President Monson quoted a philosopher in a First Presidency Message given in October 1999 titled Building Your Eternal Home stating, "consistency, thou art a jewel." In the same talk he tells us Jesus taught, "Behold, mine house is a house of order, ... and not a house of confusion." -Doctrine & Covenants 132:8. Obviously consistency and order, while avoiding confusion, are important aspects in building an eternal home.

When we got married our stake president gave us a little plaque with a scripture found in Doctrine & Covenants 88:119. It was given through the Prophet Joseph Smith at Kirtland, Ohio, December 27, 1832, where the Master counseled, "Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God." - D&C 88:119

I would love in the future to highlight how we can make our homes these things, but for now, my goal is making sure I keep my house a house of order. President Monson encouraged us to "provide time for family, time for work, time for study, time for service, time for recreation, time for self-but above all, time for Christ."

Our family makes sure we make time for these things. And I think it works best when we designate a time for each of these things and let our kids get excited about it. For instance, they know about 7:00 pm we are going to read scriptures and say prayer as a family. It is time for family, a time for study, and time for Christ. We have a prayer wheel that Noah loves to turn to see who's turn it is. He loves piling on each other after prayer for family hug where we all get stuck to each other like honey. He likes hopping to bed as I sing the song my dad used to sing to me. It is these routines that allow our house to be a house of order where the spirit resides.

Some things might not be as much of a daily ritual, but we make sure there is order. When we discipline, we are consistent so they know exactly what we expect and what the consequences are. If Dad comes home from work and the house isn't all cleaned up yet, he becomes captain and calls for all squabs on deck. The boys love getting their orders and calling out, "aye aye sir!" with fingers to forehead as they run around or march putting toys away. There is time for work, without confusion, and the kids appreciate it.

Cheryl Esplin, 2nd counselor in the Primary Presidency, mentioned in an Ensign article titled Mine House is a House of Order, "Heavenly Father has given parents the responsibility to teach and care for their children with love and kindness. He has given children the responsibility to obey and honor their parents. Heavenly Father wants every member of the family to work together to make his or her home a happy, peaceful place where the Spirit can be." I think as we remember to try to make our homes a 'house of order' we will be able to create that.

Little Confirmations

2011-07-08T09:12:00.001-07:00

I really liked that the topic my brother received for his homecoming talk was on filling our lives with good things. You'll remember that is something I have been thinking about lately and wanting to do more of.

On Sunday I was able to go to Relief Society and the lesson was on journal writing. That too, is something I have been thinking about and wanting to improve on.

For me I felt little confirmations that the goals that I have set right now are good things and I need to continue moving forward with them. It feels good to know my Heavenly Father is happy with me and what I am doing.

I think we can have those little confirmations more often in our lives. I realized as I looked back at my brother's email he heard Heavenly Father say thank you in return to him. We can know if our sacrifices, our goals, and our actions are acceptable to God. I decided I need to ask more in my prayers before I make decisions, during, and after. When I was studying this a little bit I came across a talk given by Elder John H. Groberg titled "What Are You Doing Here?" given in 1979 at a BYU Devotional.

It started with a scripture found in 2 Nephi 32:9

"But behold, I say unto you that ye must pray always, and not faint; that ye must not perform any thing unto the Lord save in the first place ye shall pray unto the Father in the name of Christ, that he will consecrate thy performance unto thee, that they performance may be for the welfare of they soul."

That is perfect. Elder Groberg reinforced it by saying "that is powerful doctrine. It is powerful because it is true. Everything we do should be done for the Lord; and we ought to make sure that it is what he wants us to do." I agree. :) And it's easy to think something is not important, or it doesn't apply when doing this, but in Doctrine & Covenants 29:34 we learn "all things are spiritual to the Lord." So we definitely should be including Heavenly Father in all our actions and He will help us know what we should be doing, and if he is pleased with what we accomplish.

So what is a way to help us do that? Elder Groberg said in our quest to discover our callings in life, the first and foremost thing we can do is follow the Savior. Learn of him. Learn what he did, then do it. He gives 5 helps to improve our relationship with the Savior.

1. Get yourself worthy and keep yourself worthy to honestly hold a temple recommend.

2. Get a patriarchal blessing and study it often, carefully and prayerfully.

3. Read the scriptures prayerfully each day.

4. Pray diligently and fervently at least every night and every morning.

5. Start doing something...

It's a great talk and he goes more into depth on how these things can help. Regarding the last point he says,

"I remember reading a poster once that said, 'A ship in a harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are made for.' I think that applies to our lives. We may pass through troubled times, but if we constantly seek nothing but physical security, we're probably not doing what we should. We need to seek the spiritual security of knowing we are doing the Lord's will. Sometimes that will not give us all the physical security we may desire, but it will give us all we need."

One last scripture found in 2 Nephi 32:1,3

"And now, behold, my beloved brethren, I suppose that ye ponder somewhat in your hearts concerning which ye should do after ye have entered by the way. But behold, why do ye ponder these things in your hearts? ... Wherefore, ... feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do."

I know I want to know I am doing the Lord's will. I have felt those little confirmations before and I would love to have those more in my life. I know as I look for those confirmations and work to develop my relationship with Christ and include Him more in my life I will have a better idea on what things I should be doing and have the peace, faith, assurance, and motivation to keep moving forward.

Believing Heart

2011-07-07T11:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes my heart still aches when I think that I'm not going to get a new baby to fill our home in a couple months. My younger sister is pregnant. Our little boys are only about a month apart, and the one she is pregnant with was only going to be about a week and half younger than mine, before I miscarried. One night while I was visiting I watched our little boys play together and it was SO cute. I kept wishing our next kids would have been like that. That night I cried.

I still get those moments when attention is given to someone pregnant and I feel neglected. Or I read a blog of a friend who is pregnant talking about her thoughts and I just wish I could be saying and feeling the same thing, but instead I feel a sense of loneliness. Other times it is overhearing people talking about how crazy or hard it is to have kids so close in age, but my hope is that mine were. And there are those that do it and talk about their experiences and I want to be like them. They are admirable to me. I wonder, am I not strong enough to handle it?

If it was up to me, I would be having a baby in September, and it hurts that I am not... but at the same time, I am so glad it's not up to me. Sometimes I do wish I knew why it wasn't right at that time, but as I was reading a talk recently some othings stuck out to me that I could relate to my experience. It is titled Is Yours a Believing Heart by Bruce C. Hafen in 1974.

It mentions the way Christ entered this world. He could have born under amazing circumstances that people would know he was the Son of God, instead of being born in a lowly stable. He says, "It was all part of a plan carefully and deliberately designed not to compel belief. Further indications of the deliberateness of that plan appear throughout the accounts of the Savior's life. Frequently he told those who were blessed by a miracle that they "should tell no man what was done." (Luke 8:56, also Mattthew 8:4)

When I read this I thought, I don't need to know why it happened, I just need to believe that there is a reason. Of course it would be easier to trust in the Lord if I knew the reason. In essence, Christ is doing miracles, I just don't know what they are yet.

Brother Hafen also says,

"A key reason for the Lord's unwillingness to compel our belief may be found in those scriptural phrases about doing the will of the Father and "receiving him."Something happens to people who receive him-who do his will. They learn. They develop Christlike capacities and skills beyond the reach of other men. Following his will changes them. These changes do not happen to those who merely see the sign or hear the word. Such changes in character and spirit do not happen without our active, voluntary participation. Thus, by being believing, by receiving the Lord, and by following him, the process of becoming like him is set into motion. That is a point he does not want us to miss."

I like that a lot. It is through believing in Him we can become like Him. We can't reach that on our own.

The last part of his talk which I really liked is-

God is close, so available to those who have ears to hear and eyes to see. In Jacob's dream about the ladder reaching to heaven, with angels ascending and descending it, he saw God standing at the top of the ladder saying, "I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest." And then Jacob awoke and said, "Surely the Lord is in this place: and I knew it not." (Gen 28:13-16). ... He is closer to us individually than most of us have any idea. The Lord is here, and who knows it? The faithful, those who are willing to be believing, because their greatest desire is to find him and serve him. When he is there, they know it.

...

Yet the real confirmation, the actual realization of his having been there, often comes later-the harvest of those early decisions to be believing. "...On the good ground are they, which in an honest and good heart, having heard the word, keep it, and bring forth fruit with patience." (Luke 8:15). After a few seasons of such harvesting, and of doing what believers do, the faithful, believing heart becomes more and more a knowing heart."

I think it is such beautiful imagery to have angels around us. Are my ears and eyes opened? A believing heart will feel that strength and know He is there with us. And sometimes that confirmation will come later, after we prove we are believing when it may be difficult. It is the the fruit of our patience. Some day perhaps I will know the reason why, but until then, I can believe and know there is a reason and that God is with me. With that, I can become like Christ.

Missionary Experiences

2011-07-05T08:45:00.000-07:00

My brother just returned home from his 2 year mission in Minneapolis, Minnesota for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Just before he came home he was able to baptize a family he worked with for almost his entire mission. His email for the week before read

THE SALDANA'S ARE GETTING BAPTIZED!!!!

on the very first line. Huge, capital letters with exclamation points. It was so fun to see because he loves this family so much and was so, SO excited for them. We too had been praying for this family and got to see our prayers answered. It made me feel so happy that missionaries are able to go all around the world to preach the gospel and that they fall in love with the people and countries where they serve. They genuinely want them to receive the gospel and blessings that come from it into their lives and it is an indescribable joy that comes when they do.

The wife had heard a song at a baptism in english, and though she didn't know the words, she had felt the spirit. My brother was able to get her a copy in spanish and as she listened it to the 2nd time she said she had the strong desire to follow its message and said, "Just as you have told me a million times, all the miracles were not coincidences. I knew this was not a coincidence, that God was trying to answer my prayers." She went on to explain how she had realized all the miracles before, but that she just didn't want to see them.

I loved reading this story my brother shared and the testimony that this woman shared. Is God trying to answer our prayers and we're not acknowledging that that is what He is doing?

Well my brother then shared some of his testimony when he wrote-

I have a testimony of small and simple things! That faith truly brings miracles! That the devil will fight you to the end, but if you push a little harder you will always win in the end! I have a testimony of prayer and fasting! I know God will bless you with what you desire most! I have a testimony of testimony! I know that God puts people in our lives for certain reasons! I know a big part of my mission was to convert the Saldanas, and nothing is sweeter than realizing that God is blessing me with the opportunity to see it happen. That night I couldn't sleep, I just laid in bed crying thanking Heavenly Father. Well one of the sweetest moments of my mission is when I felt him say thank you back. Thats what its all about. The work and glory of God is the exact same as mine. It feels good to accomplish something together. They had been investigating for at least 7 years they told us. I had been teaching them for about 16 of my 22 months out in the field. Its about time :)

Well they are getting baptized June 18, so there will be a lot of adversity before that time, so continued prayers will be greatly appreciated.

I can't say how much I loved reading that. My little brother has a testimony of the gospel and has been able to help God with his work for the past 2 years. It is such a wonderful design that as missionaries go out to help other people find the truth, their own testimonies are strengthened and everyone else around them that gets to hear about their experiences.

I am so grateful for the example my brother and the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life.

Family Connections

2011-06-17T10:51:00.001-07:00

Just a quick background - my aunt adopted 2 children, she then had 10 children of her own. I loved visiting these cousins when I was young since there was always so much to do. The second oldest, who was adopted, was different from the rest of them though. Everyone was super active and into sports but she was a bookworm. Since I wasn't so gifted in sports either I loved sitting with her under my Grandma's apple tree while we would read books or just talk. I looked up to her and respected her.

Somewhere along the line things got bumpy and she didn't feel like she fit in. When she was in her early 20's she married, had kids and I started seeing a whole lot less of her when I would visit. Eventually it led to no contact with her family. The last time I saw her was at my cousin's wedding 4 years ago and I found out she was going through a divorce. It was several years before that the last time I saw her.

But of course I still think about her a lot. I wonder where she is at or how she is doing. I've had no contact information-email, phone, address, so all I could do is pray and hope she was doing okay. The last time I put her name in the temple I was on facebook the next day and on the side of my screen where it suggests friends for you (which I usually completely ignore) I saw her face! She was going by a different name, and I couldn't see really any other information, but I knew it was her. I put in a friend request, not really sure if she would accept since she didn't want contact with her family. A few days went by and I never got a confirmation.

The next time I went to the temple I put her name on the prayer roll again. Two days later I received a confirmation that I was now friends with her! I know that may seem silly, but for me it was an answer to prayer. I now have contact, which I haven't had for who knows how long. I sent her a message and though she hasn't responded, I was happy I could do that. I love her and wish her the best, want to re-establish a relationship, and her to realize how much her family loves her. Though admittedly I never hear her name mentioned when I'm with her family and have been a bit confused as to what happened to cause the separation or if there were bad feelings there.

Since I have friended her I have seen she is now friends with my mom, and one of her sisters. Today I saw her sister posted a message on her wall - Hi! I was at girls camp last night and couldn't stop thinking of all the years we went together and you took such good care of me!! Thanks for that and all the fun memories of playing together. Love you tons!!! You're so beautiful and so are your children!!" Such a simple comment but I loved reading it. The more her family reaches out to her, express their love, and pray, I know that someday those ties will be made again.

I just wanted to post my testimony of the blessings that come from the temple and the power of prayer. Also the importance of family and to never stop loving or losing hope in anyone. My cousin has since changed her profile picture back to just a piece of artwork. It is clear she still wants to remain under the radar. She would have been completely unrecognizable without that picture and her different name. Just for however long she had that picture up, her face to appear on the side of my page and for me to look is a miracle. I am grateful for those little manifests of an omniscient God in my life.

Never Forsake

2011-06-13T11:01:00.000-07:00

One of the songs we sang during sacrament meeting yesterday was How Firm a Foundation. This song has 7 verses, and most of the time in church we only sing the first three. My favorite is the last verse-

The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose

I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;

That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,

I'll never, no never, I'll never, no never

I'll never, no never, no never forsake!

Every. single. time. I hear those last words I am moved. It is sung with such power and conviction. There is something about repeating 'never' seven times that just burns to your soul that you will never give up, no matter what comes our way or what we are challenged with. There is no question.

Satan is rampant and working to destroy us any way he can whether it be attacking the family, pride, making you feel like you're failing, financial hardships, other people testing your faith, name it it's there, but it does not matter. I just love the testimony that accompanies those words. Be strong. You can do it. Never give up.

Good Things

2011-06-07T10:18:00.001-07:00

Saturday was a good day. It started with me seeing Jack speak at a youth conference. They were running late so when we got there, there was still a speaker before him. I sat on the couch with him in the hallway listening to this other guy's talk and thought, how great would a life be just surrounded by things of the gospel. I would be happy. Listening to uplifting talks, being with people you love, having the spirit with you-it’s a good feeling. Jack did an amazing job and has been blessed with the gift to teach.

When we got home we left a few minutes later to go to the temple. I was able to witness a family in our ward be sealed for time and eternity. It was beautiful. A few times while sitting in the sealing room I felt overcome with feelings of happiness-just pure joy. The sealing room was adjoined to the celestial room, so when the doors were open you can see people coming into the celestial room. I watched loved ones meet together. Hug. It was just a happy sight. You could feel what it would be like to be reunited with our loved ones after we die and enter into our Heavenly Father’s presence. It will be a very happy time.

Then I looked around the room we sat in. People in our ward, all there to support a family we loved. That touched me. That we can share in happy moments with other people. Yesterday during testimony meeting so many people shared their feelings and testimony of being there. How wonderful that our testimonies can grow from other people's experiences. We can all learn and grow together.

Then of course when the family was being sealed it was perfect. I loved when their children walked in. They have a daughter who is in primary (I serve in the presidency so work closely with her) and she looked so beautiful. It was like an angel walking into the room, dressed in all white and looked so innocent and happy. To hear them be sealed for time and all eternity is such a wonderful blessing. This family is changed forever. They have been together for 20 years, but not until now can they be together after they die. It was such a sweet spirit testifying that families are eternal and I couldn’t have been more happy for them.

Lastly I was able to go to the baptism of 2 kids in our primary. It was fun to see this first saving ordinance performed that allows them to become a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and receive eternal salvation. Afterwards they were confirmed and received the gift of the Holy Ghost. Little children are adorable. They are so excited and it is neat to see that even though they are so young, they know and are excited that they are making a good choice and becoming more like their Savior Jesus Christ by doing so.

Overall, it was such a sweet day. Witnessing these ordinances and watching people come unto Christ. A constant witness of the Holy Ghost testifying of truths. It really does want you to have that become a part of you, to see that and to feel that all the time. I have a testimony that living the gospel brings happiness. As we surround ourselves with good things, leave behind things that distract us, or keep us from better things, and work to fulfill our role, we will have the spirit with us more. We are better people and we are happier when we have the Holy Ghost with us. In Moroni 10:5 we are taught, "And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things."

Doing what you Do

2011-06-06T11:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes people do things, good things, and don't get credit for it. That's okay. That's not why they do it. They don't do it to get praise, but for the benefit of others. I know this, but sometimes it is harder when not only do you not get credit, but others think you're the problem, or share with you 'their' something, when actually it was yours...

Oh, you think I'm talking about myself? Well, yeah. kinda.

There have been several situations lately where I, or someone I know, have done something or maybe said something, and then somebody else takes credit for it. Most of those times I want to shout out, "Hey! I'm the one that said that!" or "That wasn't your idea, it was so and so's" But I think of the scripture where the pharisees do their prayers to be seen, don't want to be that person, and realize I didn't say that or whoever didn't do that to get praise. It doesn't matter whose idea it was, it was put into force, or you shared something to help others, and that is what matters. So I sit quietly, then go to my husband to complain. :) That's a little better than being a pharisee right? ;)

But he said something to me the other day after another one of these occurrences. There was something we suggested and somebody else came to me, as if it was their idea, and suggested I do it. I of course wanted to say, "Um, actually that was me who did that. We did it 6 months ago, so I don't know what you're talking about." Jack seeing I was getting frustrated with this happening, instead of reminding me it doesn't matter (which I know), he said something else that I hadn't really thought of.

Maybe you need to learn it doesn't matter who thinks what of you. People are going to have their opinions on what you're doing wrong or what you should be doing better. And you can't let that bother you.

Isn't that so true? I think I do care entirely too much what other people think of me. And that is why I get so frustrated when I don't get credit. Because I want people to like me, and so maybe if they know that was mine, or what I am doing right, they'll like me more. Uh, nope. Not true. I need to care about myself. And do the things I do so I can become a stronger, better person. Basically I'm saying the same thing I said I already knew, but for me now it was a different way of looking at it. And it makes me feel better.

And I do have to admit that when people say, "I don't care what other people think of me" I don't believe it, and it makes me mad. Because I think you should care what other people think of you, to an extent. You don't want to have a bad reputation. But I think as long as you're doing what is right, you are going to have some enemies, and that is okay. I'm reading a book about Brigham Young right now, and people misunderstood a lot of the things he did, but he did what he was commanded to do, and that is a good thing, and that is what matters. Nobody is perfect and if some judge unrighteously, or have a misconception about you, you can't change that.

Added Note: I was reading my scriptures yesterday and it reminded me a little of this post. 1 Nephi 19:9 - "And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because or his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men."

Here we are reading about Jesus and it really makes you realize how miniscule the things are that you let bother you (ie, the things I let bother me). Jesus Christ lived a perfect example and was misconceived by so many people. He was convicted to satisfy a mob and sentenced to die on Calvary's cross. There is no comparison. But he suffered it, meaning he took it without complaining or saying anything in return, even though they were wrong. And why? Because of his kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men. I hope I can be more like Christ-do the things I do to become like him and at the same time be kind, loving, and friendly to everyone.

Desire

2011-06-02T18:33:00.001-07:00

During the last general conference in April there was one talk I knew I wanted to go back and read once it was printed. It was Elder Oaks' entitled Desire.

He started by saying "I hope each of us will search our hearts to determine what we really desire and how we rank our most important desires." It was something that caught my attention upon hearing it, because I think most of us go into general conference desiring to get something out of it. I was curious if the talk was going to answer any of my desires.

His next statement I had to re-read a few times until I could instill it in my memory. "Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions. The desires we act on determine our changing, our achieving and our becoming." Isn't that perfect?

So his talk mentioned that we have needs/desires, example food and water, shelter, or sleep, but we can gain a greater desire to overcome those. Example, when we fast every month. Read the talk because I think that's all I'm going to say about that.

But I love the idea and though it is so simple and makes sense, it is good to think about. What are my desires, and do I have greater desires. What am I making my priorities? Because those are my greatest desires and do I need to change any of those? They do lead to my choices and then my actions. If you think about it you will see this is true.

Sit down and think about your day-what do you do, what fills your entire day?Because you can trace back your actions to your desires. Do you want to fill your day with more quiet time? Learn something new? If so, think about why you want that and what you might be giving up to get that. Should you be making it a greater desire?

Still easier said than done. Some things will take some thought on how to make it a greater desire. For instance, losing weight a desire. Eating that piece of chocolate is often greater. Have to work on that, but I know it can be done if my desire is great enough. But some things I have really enjoyed in thinking about what I want to be doing, desiring it, then watch how it becomes a priority and wah-la, I get it done. My most successful thing in this is teaching my children. I had to change my daily routine a little but am able to set aside one hour every day to teach Noah and spend quality time with him doing crafts, reading to him, and just building a relationship. I love it.

I look forward to becoming the person I want to be as I contemplate what is most important to me and shape those desires. I was grateful for this talk motivating me that I can change, achieve, and become anything I desire, if I desire it enough.

Priesthood Blessings

2011-05-22T17:04:00.000-07:00

My visiting teacher is in charge of the music in sacrament meeting, so she has seen a piano in my house... One day she asked me to share a piano solo in church. I really didn't want to. I know it is good to share my talents, but I prefer to share them in a Relief Society room, primary room, or accompanying a singer where all the focus is at the microphone. In fact, I had never played a solo in sacrament meeting and was more nervous than I should have been.

The night before I was sharing my feelings with Jack and he told me I could ask for a priesthood blessing. I said I wasn't sure what to ask for-that I would play well, or that I wouldn't be nervous? I just didn't know and felt a little silly. He told me of a talk he heard from a general authority saying worthy men should be using their priesthood more and giving a lot more priesthood blessings. That we can ask for a priesthood blessing for anything. After thinking about it I decided I wanted one and Jack agreed to give me one the next morning before church.

I had no idea what was in store. He started the blessing asking that my fingers would work the way they should, my eyes could focus on the music, I would be able to play the way I had practiced, etc. A couple minutes in, the tone and feeling changed. I can't even tell you everything that was said, but it was an amazing experience. I heard my Heavenly Father speaking to me. It wasn't Jack. I could feel so clearly power flowing down from Heaven and an undescribable love. It was love my Father in Heaven had for me, that Jack had for me, and that I had for them in return-just such a strong force of love flowing in all directions. He ended the blessing, and I knew Jack also had a very special experience. He asked if I knew what that was about. Was it an answer to a prayer I had? Did I need anything? I told him no, not that I knew of.

Not that I knew of was right. I was almost 11 weeks pregnant at the time and when I went into my first appointment the next week I found out that I was probably going to miscarry. After my experience the week before my testimony of priesthood blessings grew. It was such a spiritual experience that I loved, but that blessing I realized did so much more. It helped me deal with what was coming, making everything so much easier.

I had zero doubt in my mind and heart that I had a Heavenly Father who knew me, loved me, and had a plan for me. The blessing I had received talked a lot about motherhood and my role. That I was doing a great job and great blessings would come from what I was doing. After learning this very sad news-I was so excited to add to our family,-I still knew I was a mother, I had 2 adorable boys, and I would have more children, when the time was right. My faith was so strong going into this trial, it helped so much. And to think that I received all those things, because I asked for a blessing about playing the piano in church. It is amazing.

My testimony has since grown stronger from the several blessings I received in the following few weeks dealing with the miscarriage. I know that our Heavenly Father knows us and what lies ahead of us. Trials are necessary, but he wants to help us, and priesthood blessings are an amazing gift we have. We need to ask for more of these in our lives and it is a way our Heavenly Father can communicate with us, telling us things we want to hear, and may not know we need to hear. I love my husband who is a worthy priesthood holder and is so willing to use that power daily.

I have recorded several things in my journal about dealing with the miscarriage, but in my last post I mentioned a couple people who have gone through some very difficult things, and that their experiences have helped me. One more of those was Jean Little. She is a friend of a friend, another someone I have never met. On facebook I saw my friend comment on a picture with a tiny, TINY baby. As I clicked on the picture I noticed this baby was born very early, and had just passed away. She too had a blog, and being the way I am, I clicked to read her story.

After finding out about my miscarriage I dealt with some feelings of discouragement. I didn't know why my body did not realize the baby had stopped growing. I took a prescription to put my body into labor and it did nothing. We finally decided on getting the D&C when I was a little over 13 weeks-the baby stopped growth at 7-8 weeks, so I had gone 6 weeks with my body thinking it was growing a baby, but it wasn't. After you've had 2 kids your body knows what to do and I was embarrassed that my belly kept growing and I couldn't tell anyone. I was nervous people were going to start to notice and asking. My desire for a new baby hadn't gone, but you can't try again until 1. you're not pregnant anymore, obviously, and you know things are back to working the way they should. So I wondered, if I was going to miscarry, why didn't it happen earlier, why did it have to take so long.

Then I remembered this girl's story, and became grateful. I was 13 weeks, not 23. It was her first and you could tell in her blog how excited they, and their parents, were for this new baby. I can't imagine all the feelings and emotions of going into labor so early, seeing your sweet, helpless baby, then losing it and needing to plan a funeral? Things weren't so bad. Seeing the way this girl handled her trial, also helped me realize with Heavenly Father's help, we can get through anything and grow from it.

New Insight

2011-05-19T19:09:00.001-07:00

I was reading a friend's blog post the other day. She is coming near her 30th birthday and was evaluating her life. She said a few things that got me thinking, one of them being wanting to document things of more importance, in addition to the fun, quirky things her children do on her blog. And I realized I've neglected this blog and want to get back into it-put down the things I'm learning and feeling, because there is a lot. I keep a personal journal, but I'm not the best at putting each entry in a specific book, so my entries end up here and there and I fear I have lost several important events.

So... there is so much I don't know where to begin. I think just mentioning some of the things that have recently happened that have caused me to re-evaluate my life. And none of these things have happened to me, I just read about them, but they have such a big effect on me. The first two I have mentioned before-

Ashley and Robert were friends of mine growing up. They began dating after he served a mission and were married in July 2006. In November 2007 he was first diagnosed with leukemia and beat 2 battles of cancer before passing in December 2009. When I was home visiting my parents last month I saw a wedding invitation for Ashley and was so, SO happy she was able to find someone else to share in this life journey with her. I went back to read the blog sharing her story with Robert's battle and each time I read I sit in awe at the courage and faith she had.

I learned about Stephanie Nielson, a burned victim survivor, from a mormon messages that touched me. She now has become 'famous' in the blogging world and there was a 20/20 recently done with her. We don't have television right now, but I browsed her blog and came across this post that I also loved. She is an incredibly strong person as well, and I just love what she has to say about motherhood. I am a queen, look what I just did. That is so beautiful, and so true.

Lastly, a friend of mine on facebook posted that a lady in her ward passed away unexpectedly. It caught my interest because she was so young with children. She was 8 months pregnant at the time, and though they were able to deliver the baby, it did not live long. I followed her page, noticed she had a blog, then read a post her husband did that day. Wow. Jack makes fun of me because he says it is my life-changing blog because I am constantly thinking about it and talking about it. I've gone back to it, and it must have had quite an effect on several people since it now has over 300 comments.

You may see future posts with more specific things that stuck out to me with each of these people, but right now I'll just say how grateful I am. These are tragic things these people go through. It makes you appreciate everything you have. And I feel so grateful that I can learn so much from other people. I mean, Jack doesn't like to read things like that. It just makes him sad. I read it and feel so inspired. I want to be better at everything I do and who I'll become. I'm glad it does that to me. It makes me hope and pray I never have to face something like that personally. I learn so much from other people's trials. I know I have my own, but I really hope I never have to go through anything like that. I thought that probably sounds bad, but realize no, it doesn't. I don't think anyone ever hopes for something like that.

I don't know if it's weird that I'm like this, but I am so glad other people are able to share their stories, despite how difficult they are, so I can better appreciate what I have, put my life in clearer perspective, and help me strive to be who our Heavenly Father wants me to be.

Sabbath Day

2010-12-05T19:45:00.000-08:00

We have been commanded to keep the sabbath day holy. It's in the Bible, it's in the Book of Mormon. People are very familiar with this commandment.

But as I was reading a post on a friend's facebook page, it brought a feeling of sadness that this commandment seems to be so misunderstood. A Christmas parade was being held on Sunday and she wondered if appropriate to go. She added how could she resist (posting a link to a picture)-an old man in a Cat in the Hat costume riding a silly bike

The responses-

- We would. Mormon Tabernacle Choir has concerts on Sunday

- We would consider it. If we were in the mood, then sure.

- absolutely!

- We would, as long as it wasn't during church. Sounds like fun!

- go for it! Good times with the family, right?

- neat experience and a good family time!

- Go! Sunday is a time to be with family. I think it would be a blast!

- I'd go!

- Heck yes! Yea for family activities on Sundays! :)

-UH YEAH! We go to the beach sometimes. It's free and we would just be home watching TV anyway

- Yes to family events like parades. Kids love them!

Her response- "Good to know everyone! Sometimes we get so caught up in the 'keeping the sabbath day holy' that we forget that the biggest part of that is being together as a family. ...

Sunday is the only day we have together for more than a couple hours and usually ends up being in our pajamas doing nothing all day. ... Glad to know I wouldn't get the snooty nose in Utah for doing something on the 'sabbath!' ... And to rub it in your faces I will be in my shorts and flip flops in 65 degree weather"

Over 10 responses and not a single 'no.' I like to think the people that thought no just didn't respond so they weren't considered a 'snooty nose' Utah mormon. But why is it that someone who doesn't think wearing shorts and flip flops while watching a bunch of silly dressed people singing and dancing is keeping the sabbath day holy.

I think the overwhelming attitude of people in favor made it seem they were doing it as a family so it was okay. That is obviously what she felt from their responses by admitting that 'we forget the biggest part [of keeping the sabbath day holy] is being together as a family.'

That just isn't true. The biggest part of keeping the sabbath day holy is remembering our Savior Jesus Christ. Mormon Tabernacle choir singing songs that invite the Holy Ghost to testify of Him helps to do this. Very different from a parade. I don't think you're going to be getting the Holy Ghost to testify of eternal truths watching Cat in the Hat ride a bike.

I'd also like to add that I think we should dress to keep the sabbath day holy. Maybe we don't need to stay in our church clothes the whole day, but we should stay away from things that bring a sense of lounging and not setting the day apart as a sacred, special day.

Okay, I'm off my soap box and would like to share a few scriptures and quotes from prophets on the matter. :)

Isaiah 58:13 - If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the ^asabbath a delight, the holy of the Lord, honourable; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words:

President Spencer W. Kimball cautioned, however, that if we merely lounge about doing nothing on the Sabbath, we are not keeping the day holy. The Sabbath calls for constructive thoughts and acts. (See Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Spencer W. Kimball [2006], 170.)

Finally, Ezra Taft Benson said “The purpose of the Sabbath is for spiritual uplift, for a renewal of our covenants, for worship, for rest, for prayer. It is for the purpose of feeding the spirit, that we may keep ourselves unspotted from the world by obeying God’s command” (“Keeping the Sabbath Day Holy,” Ensign, May 1971, 6)

Knowing

2010-12-05T18:58:00.000-08:00

Last week the brother of one of my husband's friends took his life. Though I did not know the individual, it is tragic news that leaves you with sadness for all who knew him. My heart goes out to his family, friends, and wife he left behind. I pray for them and that they will feel peace in their hearts and a deeper testimony of the reality of our Savior's atonement.

I have thought a lot since hearing this news- we do not know what happens to individuals who make that decision, and can be very thankful we are not the judge of such things. We have no idea what that person was going through and what led to that action, but one thing we do know, that we have a Savior, Jesus Christ, who lived and died for us. Our omnipotent Father in Heaven has a plan, a Plan of Happiness, that allows us to live again after we have died. Jesus Christ came to earth, lived a perfect life, then gave his life to atone for the sins of all mankind. The atonement is for all.

In Mosiah 3:11 we read, "For behold, and also his blood atoneth for the sins of those who have fallen by the transgression of Adam, who have died not knowing the will of God concerning them, or who have ignorantly sinned."

Given this individual's circumstance, the line 'who have died not knowing the will of God concerning them' sticks out. And it made me realize how important it is for us to know the will of God for us. He has a plan for us, we are his children, he wants us to be happy and return to him. I am so very grateful that I can go to the temple to learn of that plan and get a deeper understanding of it. It brings such a peace and joy to have that knowledge. I wish everyone could have that feeling and I want to do more to let others know how much they are loved and how important they are.

So on this post, I testify that I know these things are true and make it a goal to be better at serving, reaching out, and showing love to others.

Growing Alligators

2010-09-29T12:35:00.000-07:00

My son got a little toy for his birthday. An alligator. You put it in the water and it grows. Before his bath I got my camera ready to see his reaction when we put it in the water. He's excited, I'm excited, then I drop it in! ...nothing happened.

I was disappointed as you can imagine so sent my husband to go look at the box. It said you need to leave it in the water for at least 3 days. My thinking was it was like a sponge and would grow instantaneous, instead, it grows very slowly, taking in the water little by little. We filled a pan with water and it has been sitting on the counter for a week now.

Sure enough, it has gotten bigger, but I've been amazed how I haven't really been able to tell. The only way I can tell is when I compare it to something that hasn't changed size, and when next to each other, the change is obvious. My son has no interest and when we show him that it is bigger, it is like it was that big all along. This got me thinking and reminded me of a scripture that was shared at a recent devotional I heard.

Yea, and there shall be many which shall say: Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die; and it shall be well with us. And there shall also be many which shall say: Eat, drink, and be merry; nevertheless, fear God—he will justify in committing a little sin; yea, lie a little, take the advantage of one because of his words, dig a pit for thy neighbor; there is no harm in this; and do all these things, for tomorrow we die; and if it so be that we are guilty, God will beat us with a few stripes, and at last we shall be saved in the kingdom of God. Yea, and there shall be many which shall teach after this manner, false and vain and foolish doctrines... - 2 Nephi 28:7-9

I see every day that this is true. So many in the world believe life is about having fun, so party it up. They have no concern for life after death, and if they do, their belief is God is loving and he will forgive us. He knows we were just trying to have fun and didn't know any better. But we are told these are false, and vain, and foolish thoughts.

How do people come up with these thoughts? It is Satan, getting into the hearts of men. But people will not believe they are being controlled by Satan. They are making their own choices. If someone wants to try drugs or have a drink, they will. They are in control, they are just having fun, "all is well." But then something happens without them knowing it. They become addicted and it has a grasp on them. This is the way Satan works. Little by little, pulling you carefully down to hell and because the change is so subtle it is unnoticeable. We are warned in the scriptures of this very thing-

For behold, at that day shall he rage in the hearts of the children of men, and stir them up to anger against that which is good. And others will he pacify, and lull them away into carnal security, that they will say: All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth, all is well—and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefullydown to hell. And behold, others he flattereth away, and telleth them there is no hell; and he saith unto them: I am no devil, for there is none—and thus he whispereth in their ears, until he grasps them with his awful chains, from whence there is no deliverance. Yea, they are grasped with death, and hell; and death, and hell, and the devil, and all that have been seized therewith must stand before the throne of God, and be judged according totheir works, from whence they must go into the place prepared for them, even a lake of fire and brimstone, which is endless torment. -2 Nephi 28: 20-23

Can you see the comparison with our little toy alligator? A small, harmless little thing that grows into a large monster that you can no longer control, and it did it all without you noticing. We need to watch out for those absorbing alligators in our lives.

Praying for Others

2010-09-20T10:22:00.000-07:00

Life is hard, but it seems to be especially hard on a lot of families I know recently.

In my own family my aunt was diagnosed with alzheimers very young and my grandma has been taking care of her. She continues to take care of her, but has decided to move closer to my mom and somewhere she can get a little extra help when she needs it. I've been amazed at my grandma's strength and everything my mom has done the last couple of months to make it all happen so quickly. It continues to be a daunting task, a messy, exhausting, and yucky one.

There are two separate families I have connections with that have recently lost their dads/husbands, not to death, but them being unfaithful in their marriage. I think that is such a tragic thing to deal with. One of the girls said, "my dad doesn't want to be part of our family anymore." How heart-breaking is that for little children to feel that way. I can't imagine the feelings you encounter to lose your partner who you love and become the sole provider, protector, and nurturer because of their unfaithfulness.

My childhood best friend's mom passed away this weekend from a long fight against breast cancer. There is a peace that comes from knowing she is no longer suffering and they will see her again, but to leave your children who are still so young, her son serving a mission, and her dear husband who has been a huge love and support is very saddening. Again, I can't imagine the pain and loss they must be feeling at this time.

As I was saying my evening prayer the other night I felt myself praying for each individual, one after another after another. It seemed the list kept growing on who I felt needed a little extra help. I don't know the best way I can help all these people, I've never had to deal with those things, but I know we have a Heavenly Father who does. I know the power of the Holy Ghost is real and can bring comfort, strength, and direction.

As I prayed for others I felt such a strength growing within me. I felt empowered to be better, that I could do so much more. I want to serve others, show love, live the commandments more fully, and be a better example. I was amazed at doing something so simple as thinking of others, instead of all things I wanted help with at this time, made me feel like I could get through everything on my plate. I can be a better wife and mother, simply by praying and thinking of others.

I posted last December when a friend passed away from leukemia who left behind another friend of mine, his beautiful 24 year old wife. I was looking back on their blog as it always amazes me and makes me feel gratitude. But I wanted to share her last post- All is Well

I remember the night Robert passed away, the peace I felt. I wouldn't even say it was necessarily bittersweet, because it was mostly sweet. I've thought a lot about the events, played them in my mind, over and over. When I think about it now, I see angels. I know they were everywhere, all around me, Robert, our families, in the halls. I've never felt peace like that, like tons of beautiful whispers of love right into my spirit, comforting me, letting me know everything was going to be okay. I felt their joy, for Robert, a valiant son of God was coming back to them, clean, and as pure as a person can be in this life. He served his mission here, with help from many of the angels that attended us, I believe. I remember making the decisions about letting him go, to take him off his life support. It's those moments that I had clarity like I have never felt before in my life, I had never felt that kind of peace that comes with it. All worry and fear clears out completely, and I knew what was needed, what was right in Heavenly Father's eyes. I imagine that night now with angels, clothed in brilliant white, joy emanating from them. I imagine they were laying comforting, loving hands on all of us, and especially Robert, to give him strength, to let him know we would all be okay. I remember how we sang to Robert as he passed away, and I now hear it with the voices of angels harmonizing with everyone's voices, welcoming Robert home. We were all saying goodbye, but all those angels were rejoicing in his return, they were welcoming him back. It brings me comfort, that I can see that night this way. I see Robert in those brilliant white robes, pure joy on his face, looking more healthy than he ever has, healed perfectly, and knowing that he felt relief, that it had been enough, that he had served in every way he had been asked. "All is well"... I heard it whispered much that night through the spirit, and I hear it often now. Even though I am hurting, I know that it will all be okay, Robert and I will be reunited for eternity, of this, I am sure. All is well.

I love that. Our prayers are answered. For someone that had to deal with something so difficult, there is a peace I feel from reading that everyone's prayers were being answered. She had the Holy Ghost with her. It is a marvelous blessing to be able to feel our Savior's love, peace and clarity. I hope we can pray for others more often and live in harmony with the gospel that we can have the spirit with us always.

Count Your Many Blessings

2010-09-19T14:50:00.000-07:00

So I have a few friends that really like a popular blog which basically mocks the world of mormon mom blogs that talk about how wonderful their family is and how great their life is... I decided I don't like it.

I gave a Family Home Evening lesson Monday night on love, and I've been thinking a lot about it this week. One scripture I read was:

"Charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity. Charity is everlasting love." Moroni 8:17

Now, I'm not the type of person that thinks, 'that person deserves to rot in hell,' but I find myself occasionally with the thoughts, 'that person is so dumb.' And now I keep thinking I need to really love everyone and want the best for everyone. Thinking people are stupid and they deserve certain consequences isn't Christ-like of me. Making fun of people that 'talk like a mormon' or name their kids crazy things isn't what I should be doing, or supporting those that do. So that is one thing I am working on and I am enjoying the learning experience from it.

Neal A. Maxwell said, 'When we come to be genuinely concerned with pleasing God-more than with pleasing any in the world, even ourselves-then our behavior improves and His blessings can engulf us."

So I was thinking one night about this popular blog and questioned if my personal blog falls into the category they mock. Then I thought, so what if it is. I think there is a lot of good that comes from acknowledging all the blessings we receive. I think we need to do more on focusing on those things, rather than all the trash, wicked, and stupidity in the world. 20 years down the road are our children going to be reading our journals to see we were a pessimist or an optomist. Are we going to want to remember those awful days, or the ones we spent laughing and loving. I know when I look back on a negative thing, those feelings of anger and frustration sometimes easily come back. I know opposition is a necessity, and those bad days make the good ones so much better, I just believe there is a lot more happiness to be had in this world if we count our blessings.

I've always heard about thankful prayers, designating an entire prayer to giving thanks, and I've done my share of them, but sometimes it seems awfully difficult at the end of the day to think, okay, what did I like today and can not think of anything!

Well, it simply isn't true and I'm making a goal in addition to loving others more, to acknowledging all the things I'm grateful for - the refridgerator that keeps my food fresh, plumbing to make using the bathroom so much easier and cleaner, and technology that I can call my parents when I need someone to talk to, even when my ice maker doesn't work, the sewer line backed up into my house, and my cell seems to constantly drop my calls.

There are so many luxuries we have today. I know if we try to focus on the good things in life, the blessings we have, and having a Christ-like love towards others we will have more happiness in our life.

"The love of God is the most desirable above all things...and the most joyous to the soul." - 1 Nephi 11:22-23

Motherhood

2010-05-06T10:54:00.001-07:00

Watch this:

As I watched this video for the first time tears filled my eyes and a wave of emotions overcame me. In the last week I have struggled with the role of 'mom.' I feel like my patience isn't what it should be with demands of midnight feedings, a two year old who refuses to listen, constant clean up, what feels like nonstop crying and I don't get any time to myself. I feel exhausted and weak. Then you see something like this and that feeling quickly changes. To admiration and gratitude.

This whole week I have been given reminders (which I really needed) of how wonderful it is to be a mom. I read a friend's wonderful blog post who is the mom to four kids under the age of 6, I came across this article, I watched my little sister bless her baby and bear a powerful testimony, and lastly this. I am so grateful for those reminders.

Lots of times I see moms work, not because they need to financially, but that they need a break from their children. They like having that 'me' time and they feel they need it to prove that they are not a home keeper with no real world skills. I've heard my friends give their arguments that their mom didn't work and how they wish they did because they were always stressed and unhappy at home. I can't help but disagree with that mindset even though it is tempting at times. A few hours away plus some extra cash to buy fun things! Even though it's important to take care of yourself and not neglect giving yourself time, I feel it is in a sense giving up on something challenging and missing out on a wonderful opportunity. I think you should learn to love being a mom.

The First Presidency issued a statement awhile back that stated, "Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels." I love that. I know I need to make that true in my life and value it as such.

I am so blessed to be able to stay home with my children and watch them grow and watch the silly and cute things they do and say all day long. I am working on developing that patience. I am working on making more opportunities to laugh and play and teach my children. It is my role. It is divine. It is the most important thing I can do and I would not change it for anything.

My wonderful husband recently left me a little note with Proverbs 31 for me including the words

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised

My goal is to be that woman. I love my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ. I know I need their help and know it is possible through the atonement I have a line of communication any time I want to receive guidance, comfort, and a listening ear. I love being a mom

Omnipotent & Omniscient

2010-02-11T11:51:00.000-08:00

Omnipotent: all powerful

Omniscient: all knowing

We often hear these words in relation to the nature of God. I've thought about these two words a lot lately and studied them in the scriptures. Two of my favorites are

1 Nephi 7:12 - "...The Lord is able to do all things according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith in him. Wherefore, let us be faithful in him."

and

2 Nephi 2:24 "But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things."

I've been able to see the truth of these scriptures manifest in my life recently. It amazes me where you can be in a situation and think, "there is no way" or want something but know it's "impossible" that it never actually is. God has power over everything, and if he wants something, he can do it, no matter how insurmountable it may seem.

There is also great comfort in knowing that though he is all powerful, he is also all knowing. Therefore, everything that happens is done in wisdom and the timing will always be perfect, no matter how discouraging it may be when nothing is working out, or how how awe inspiring it is when it couldn't have worked out better.

I know that as we exercise faith in him through those hard times when life doesn't seem fair, we will make it to the other side where our testimony can be strengthened and we see that God's hand was there the whole time. We need to remember that he said "Hearken and hear, O ye my people, saith the Lord your God, ye whom I delight to bless with the greatest of all blessings, ye that hear me; and ye that hear me not will I curse, that have professed my name, with the heaviest of all cursings." Doctrine & Covenants 41:1

I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father that has a plan for me, is aware of my thoughts and desires, and delights in the blessings he sends.

Finding Strength

2009-12-15T20:19:00.000-08:00

I had a friend pass away Sunday night from leukemia. Things had been going well and a sudden bad turn of events made it somewhat shocking. This week my mind has consistently gone towards this friend and the relationship he had with his wife, another one of my friends. He recently turned 25 and she 24. They were young, beautiful, and in love.

They had a blog documenting his progress, treatment and relationship which I spent the other day going through and tears filled my eyes in amazement at the strength of this young couple. I thought of where they got their strength from and where we can all get strength from.

I know the gospel of Jesus Christ played a role in their strength and it is through the atonement we find that. They continually fasted and prayed and asked others to do so. They felt angels around them and prayers answered. Instead of a post on that, I was reminded of how keeping the right focus on what is most important can make such a difference. I was touched by a post of her sister which documented the first time she went to the hospital after Robert was diagnosed. She states she saw him lying in the bed, Ashley beside him holding his hand, her husband of a year and four months. She says:

"It was November, Thanksgiving time, and there they were, in the hospital. Ashley cradled his hand, careful of the IV tube, and looked at him, hair gone, pale, thin, with dark circles under his eyes. He looked so different, not a shadow, but something approaching one.

To her though, it was apparent that he was the most beautiful thing in the world. One could see this because that beauty was reflected in her face; she looked so lovely, glowing almost, her warmth a contrast to the cold white and steel of her surroundings.

They smiled, talked, laughed with each other. She leaned over and they kissed lightly. Their affection was so heavy, so dense, that it made everything else light. Sorrows, fears, doubts; they all floated up to the ceiling, up and away into the heavens, displaced by the love that would not allow them to stay. She looked at him, past the fear, weariness, and pain, and loved him all the more for it."

I think it is beautiful to read of how a little sister was able to see the power of love. The blog is full of experiences where she got him to laugh, and how much she loves his laugh. That despite him being in pain and on meds, all he thought about was how he wanted to be close to his wife. It makes me evaluate my relationship with my husband and how much I love him. That I want to focus on the love we share rather than worry about expenses, job opportunities, sickness, any little faults he may have or even the troubles in the world.

We are so blessed and I hope that we can remember what is most important and draw strength from that. We need to focus on the blessings that we have been given and show love to those dear to us. No matter our situation, we all have a Savior, Jesus Christ, who lived a perfect life and died for us that we may return to live with him again. His love for us is the most powerful of all and our love for him will make all the difference.

Happy Birthday America...

2009-07-06T08:30:00.000-07:00

After the death and ressurection of Jesus Christ, he visited his "other sheep" (see John 10:14-16) who were living on the American continent at the time. As he spoke to them, the Savior told them of the future nation that would be founded on the same continent by the gentiles, or non-jewish nations. He said,

"For it is wisdom in the Father that they should be established in this land, and be set up as a free people by the power of the Father that these things might come forth from them unto a remnant of your seed, that the covenant of the Father may be fulfilled which he hath covenanted

with his people, O house of Israel (3 Nephi 21:4)."
What things was the Savior refering to? He was refering to the records and testimonies kept by the people in the ancient Americas--these have come forth in our day as the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ. (For more background information click HERE).

The Book of Mormon is one of the main media by which our Heavenly Father will bring the true gospel to his people in our day. Its title page informs of some of its purposes: 1) To show unto the remnant of the House of Israel what great things the Lord hath done for their fathers; 2)that they may know the covenants of the Lord, that they are not cast off forever, 3) and also to the convincing of the Jew and Gentile that Jesus is the Christ the Eternal God, manifesting himself unto all nations.

I am grateful for this book of scripture that has taught me and my family so much about the Savior and God's plan to save his children and bring them back to him after this life. This makes me grateful for the country in which my family lives--the United States.

The freedom given to us through the battle for independence made it possible for the Lord to do his work. I'm grateful for the freedom of religion granted us by the Constitution which made it possible for Joseph Smith to pray to God, recieve revelations from him, and establish his true church once again. I'm grateful for the Freedom of the press granted us that allows us to print the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ. I'm grateful for the freedom of speech granted us that allows us to declare these things to all that everyone can experience the joy that comes from living according to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

God bless America, but most of all, God bless us as a people that we might ever remain grateful and worthy of the blessings that we enjoy. May all nations of the world eventually partake of the same freedoms and blessings.

A name and a fame that cannot be slain...

2009-06-28T09:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday (June 27th) was the 165th anniversary of the martyrdom of the Prophet Joseph Smith. (For more historical background see HERE and HERE.) Last night for family scripture study we decided to watch a short video clip and read Doctrine and Covenants Section 135 together. We both felt a great sense of gratitude for the life and mission of Joseph Smith as we read those great words written by John Taylor. Here a few snippets...

When Joseph went to Carthage to deliver himself up to the pretended requirements of the law, two or three days previous to his assassination, he said: “I am going like a lamb to the slaughter; but I am calm as a summer’s morning; I have a conscience void of offense towards God, and towards all men. I SHALL DIE INNOCENT, AND IT SHALL YET BE SAID OF ME—HE WAS MURDERED IN COLD BLOOD.”

In the short space of twenty years, he [Joseph] has brought forth the Book of Mormon, which he translated by the gift and power of God, and has been the means of publishing it on two continents; has sent the fulness of the everlasting gospel, which it contained, to the four quarters of the earth; has brought forth the revelations and commandments which compose this book of Doctrine and Covenants, and many other wise documents and instructions for the benefit of the children of men; gathered many thousands of the Latter-day Saints, founded a great city, and left a fame and name that cannot be slain. He lived great, and he died great in the eyes of God and his people; and like most of the Lord’s anointed in ancient times, has sealed his mission and his works with his own blood; and so has his brother Hyrum. In life they were not divided, and in death they were not separated!

Hyrum Smith was forty-four years old in February, 1844, and Joseph Smith was thirty-eight in December, 1843; and henceforward their names will be classed among the martyrs of religion; and the reader in every nation will be reminded that the Book of Mormon, and this book of Doctrine and Covenants of the church,

cost the best blood of the nineteenth century to bring them forth for the salvation of a ruined world;

Greatest of all, was Joseph's powerful witness of the savior. His testimony is like that of the prophets of old:

And now, after the many

testimonies which have been given of him, this is the testimony, last of

all, which we give of him: That he lives!

For we saw him, even on the right

hand of God; and we heard the voice bearing record that he is the Only Begotten of the Father—

That by him, and through him, and

of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughte

rs unto God. (Doctrine and Covenants 76:22-24)

We are grateful for this good man, servant of the Lord, and powerful witness for Christ.

Receiving Answers to Prayer

2009-05-14T10:15:00.000-07:00

Our family recently had a decision to make, which seemed extremely difficult, and I could not come up with an answer. As I studied it out in my mind and listing the pros and cons on paper, I kept thinking of this scripture:

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." - Proverbs 3:5-6

I thought, okay, I need to trust in the Lord. At this point I was more than willing because I did not want to lean on my own understanding-I didn't have any! So then I asked myself, am I acknowledging him in ALL things, or just the things I am wanting his help with? Over the next few days I tried especially hard to remember Christ always and praying for an answer feeling like an answer could be received any time through any one. I still struggled. I felt like I would get an answer, and immediatly after change my mind.

The next thing I thought to do-study faith. I turned to the scriptures and started looking up scriptures under the topical guide. I found many things, but a few offered greater support with my current situation. "The trying of your faith worketh patience" (James 1:3). I needed to be patient. It was okay that I wasn't getting an answer right away. I knew Alma's prayers were answered because of his faith. As long as I kept praying, with faith, the Lord would answer my prayer. And last, faith gives us strength. Alma the Younger prayed, "Lord, give us strength according to our faith which is in Christ, even unto deliverance. And they broke the cords with which they were bound" (Alma 14:26). I thought, if I exercise faith, I can receive the strength I need, while I wait with patience for an answer to my prayer.

To make a long story short, that Sunday my husband and I fasted and prayed together and were able to come to a decision we felt good about, not changing our minds afterwards. I feel blessed knowing that we can pray to a loving Heavenly Father who knows what we need, and He can give us answers and offer guidance in difficult times. I know that it takes effort on our part, and faith to go forward, not knowing what is best, but as we exercise our faith, a confirmation will come.

An Easter Message

2009-04-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

Plan of Salvation

2009-04-08T12:26:00.000-07:00

Last night our family was able to go see the play Children of Eden put on by Lehi High School which some of Jack's students were in. They did a great job and the production was well done with great effects, great voices, and great costumes. However, I was unfamiliar with the story and thought it was quite depressing. I felt it left out important parts of the bible story and the interpretation John Caird, author of the book, and Stephen Schwartz, composer of the music, had of God's character, Eve's character, and Cain's character was disappointing. I walked away thinking, "Do people really believe that?" If so, that is so sad.

I feel the knowledge of God's plan for us and the plan of salvation or plan of happiness is a blessing and with it, things make so much more sense. I never really realized that without that important aspect there can be so much confusion on Adam and Eve and the fall.

Though I don't plan to critique the whole play, I thought I would mention a few of my thoughts. In the play God's character is as though he is bored and decides to put Adam and Eve on the earth for some fun. Next, he gets angry at Eve for eating the fruit, and angry at Adam for choosing to be with Eve. He is unforgiving and states they can never return to live with him again (though magically they are with him after they die). Adam offers sacrifices and they pray to their father throughout their life, yet He never speaks to them and secretly visits Cain and Abel. What a horrible depiction of our Father in Heaven.

I know he is a loving father who had a plan (detailed later), placed Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and gave them a commandment to multiply and replenish the earth, which was left out of the play altogether. We need to remember that this was the first commandment he gave to Adam and Eve, "God said unto them, Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth" (Genesis 1:28). This would not have been possible had they remained in the garden, especially if Adam did not partake of the fruit and remained alone in the garden. He partook so he could be with Eve and keep Father's commandments. In the bible we read "Unto Adam also and to his wife did the Lord God make coats of skins, and clothed them" (Genesis 3:21). He also "placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life" (Genesis 3:24). This being so Adam and Eve don't live forever in their sin. This does not sound like a hating, unforgiving God. (Note, this tree is also not mentioned in the play)

I was surprised while talking to my husband that with his experience of being on a mission, much of the world does not believe Adam was a prophet. Some question if Noah was a prophet, and it isn't until Moses that people actually think, 'okay, yeah, he was a prophet." This simply is not true. Adam was a prophet of God who still spoke with God after he was cast out of the Garden. Communication with our father in heaven was not cut off then and it is not cut off now.

To rewind in detailing a little about God's plan, we lived with God before we came to earth as spirit children. It was there that God presented this great plan. Those who accepted this plan, all of us, were permitted to come to earth to get a body and be tested. There was one, Lucifer, who rebelled against this plan and his followers were cast out of God's presence. Lucifer became Satan and now he and his followers have power to tempt us while on earth. We can choose good over evil and come unto Christ as he has asked of us.

God's plan for us is that we can become like him. The fall was a necessary part of this plan. Though we can not dwell with God in our sins, God's perfect plan included a Savior to come to earth and atone for our sins. Jesus Christ gave his life to atone for the sins of all mankind. Through this and his resurrection, Jesus Christ overcame spiritual and physical death. As we partake of this amazing gift, repent of our sins, and keep the first principles and ordinances of the gospel, we can return to live with our Heavenly Father. Afte we die we will be resurrected as Christ and be judged. All of this is known as the Plan of Salvation. I am so grateful for our Father's perfect plan and know it is true.

Yoked or Yokeless?

2009-03-23T12:45:00.001-07:00

The Savior's words at the end of the 11th chapter of Matthew are--in my opinion--some of the most sublime in scripture:
28 ¶ Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy lade n, and I will give you rest .

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart : and ye shall find ^f rest unto your souls.

30 For my yoke is easy , and my burden is light.

I know that this is true. When we are "yoked" to the Savior our burdens become light.

Paul alludes to the Saviors words in the 6th chapter of II Corinthians:

14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with u nbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness ? and what communion hath light with darkness?

Paul's counsel to avoid constant association with blatant unbelievers is a timeless message, particularly in an age when true followers of Christ are bombarded from all sides with the smudge of the Adversary. Though Satan's attacks are particularly brutal and often well-aimed, he is well aware that such tactics will not reach as many of God's children as he would like. No, for many he will use a more subtle tactic alluded to by Paul in verse 15.

15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial?

Belial is a Hebrew word with disputed origins. Throughout the Old Testament it is used to describe those who have gone astray and sought after false gods or practices. The word became synonymous with worthlessness (see 1 Samuel 1:16 LDS Footnote b). The idea of belial even personified over time and a demon by that name became a representation of all that comes with idoltry, false gods, sin, and worthlessness.

I think Paul had these traditions in mind, but with Paul's training in the written and oral law at the hands of Gamliel (Acts 22:3) he is clearly teaching another principle as well--a principle Satan uses to capture all those he cannot trap with blatant frontal attacks.

The Talmud reads "'The children of Belial' denotes children who have thrown off the yoke of heaven from their necks (Sanh. 111b)." This draws on an interpretation that the original meaning of the word belial was "yoke-less". Thus Paul asserts that just as dangerous as being yoked to unbelievers is being yoked to something worthless, or even worse, being yoked to nothing at all.

The Adversary knows it is far easier to tempt a good man to do nothing than to do something evil. There are so many things in this world reaching out to us. Much of it is of little worth. A good man or woman may be persuaded to avoid righteous living as he or she is "yoked" to surfing the internet, playing video games, sports game after sports game, or viewing the thoughtlessness of many television programs. The Adversary has chosen his weapon well, for in each of the above examples one can find some worth--even great worth in moderation. Let us be cautious of the line so as to never cross it.

Secondly, as aforementioned, Satan would enjoy nothing more than to see the other side of our "yoke" empty. He seeks to persuade us that our prayers are for naught. He seeks to convince us that we "need some time to be alone and just do nothing." The Advesary also seeks to lie to us by telling us that the things of this world are of greater import than the time we need for sincere scripture study. As a Turkish proverb states, "The devil tempts all men, but the idle man tempts the devil." In short, that old serpent seeks to keep us from taking upon us the yoke of Christ.

We must not allow this to happen.

Elder Neal A. Maxwell stated that "the taking of Jesus’ yoke upon us constitutes serious discipleship. There is no greater calling, no greater challenge, and no greater source of joy—both proximate joy and ultimate joy—than that which is found in the process of discipleship. This process brings its own joys and reassurances."

This of course will require sacrifices. We will have to give up some things that to the world may seem harmless, of no immediate threat to spirtuality, or even essential. Elder Maxwell continues by saying, "We must not, however, expect the world to understand or to value our discipleship; they will not. In a way, they may admire us from afar, but they will be puzzled about the priorities resulting from our devotion...Simultaneously, in this same process, the more we become like Jesus, the more we come to know Him."

I know these things are true. I know that when I am seeking to be close to the Savior my life has more meaning. I know that he extends this call of discipleship to all those who are willing to come unto him through faith, repentance, baptism, the gift of the Holy Ghost and the other restored ordiniances of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

May we all seek to take the Savior's yoke upon us, for it is easy, and his burdern is light.

Temples

2009-03-22T08:27:00.000-07:00

Just to add my testimony to this great message put out by the church, I love the temple. I know it is a house of the Lord where we can go to feel peace, feel the spirit, learn more about the gospel, and receive answers to questions we may have. I have felt power while being there, and the opposite power of how Satan wishes we did not go and tries to put things in our way to prevent us from going.

It is amazing to see that when me and my husband set a date to go, things always come up. I get sick, our little boy decides to change his schedule around, one of us will be grumpy feeling like we shouldn't go or a number of different things. But I know when we decide we will go, no matter what, it is always worth it. Though I try to always prepare myself before going so I am in a better position to learn and receive inspiration and revelation, that's not always the case. However, I love that as soon as I walk in the door and am greeted as I show my temple recommend, any negative feelings I have leave and I become thankful to be there.

I know it is a holy place, a place of protection where Satan cannot dwell. I know there sacred ordinances and covenants we make, make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and families to be united eternally. I love the temple

In closing, here is a portion of an article entitled The Holy Temple by Elder Boyd K. Packer that I like-

Temples are the very center of the spiritual strength of the Church. We should expect that the adversary will try to interfere with us as a church and with us individually as we seek to participate in this sacred and inspired work. Temple work brings so much resistance because it is the source of so much spiritual power to the Latter-day Saints and to the entire Church.

At the Logan Utah Temple cornerstone dedication, President George Q. Cannon, then of the First Presidency, made this statement:

"Every foundation stone that is laid for a Temple, and every Temple completed according to the order the Lord has revealed for his holy Priesthood, lessens the power of Satan on the earth, and increases the power of God and Godliness, moves the heavens in mighty power in our behalf, invokes and calls down upon us the blessings of the Eternal Gods, and those who reside in their presence" (Millennial Star, 12 November 1877, 743).

"Why Me?"

2009-03-12T17:27:00.000-07:00

Okay, so in previous posts I've talked about how times are tough and things aren't always easy, but we can still find peace in our lives, love the experiences, learn from them, and be grateful and focus on the good realizing that we are never alone. All of these are good things, and I still believe everything I've said, but this time I wanted to talk more about the actual bad things in our lives and why we have them.

God has promised to bless his children that keep his commandments. I know happiness comes from keeping God's commandments and living righteous lives. But this shouldn't set us up for disappointment or think we're doing something wrong whenever some misfortune hits us. Earlier this year I remember feeling frustrated. I was working hard to do my best. It was a New Year, I made resolutions and was doing a really good job at keeping them-being a better wife and mother, reading and studying my scriptures daily and kneeling to say morning and evening prayers, etc. But my life didn't change a lot. I was expecting everything to all of a sudden become perfect because I was being such a good person. :) Of course, like I mentioned, I noticed I still got agitated with a crying baby, tired of cleaning the same messes every day, and it didn't seem my husband noticed this amazing change in my life and praise my efforts!

So even though we have been promised we will be blessed, that doesn't mean things will never be hard. I think the best example of this is found in Job, the story of Job. We read he was "perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil" (Job 1:1). One thing to remember is that Christ is the only one that lived a perfect life and the word here in hebrew means complete, whole, and having integrity. But God still allowed Satan to put trials in Job's life. Job lost everything-his family, his servants, his animals, and faced severe physical ailments-things that seem impossible for anyone to endure. Again, something to remember is that we are promised in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that "...God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able..." So what did Job do when faced with all these trials? He remained faithful and said "my lips shall not speak wickedness, nor my tongue utter deceit. God forbid that I should justify you: til I die I will not remove mine integrity from me" (Job 27:4-5) and in the end Job is greatly blessed and "the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before" (Job 42: 10). Another thing I like about this story is Job's friends. At first they come to comfort him and later they tell him to repent. They believe he must have sinned to be faced with all these trials and they interpret it as a punishment from God. Job has a strong testimony though and knows that he is a righteous man and God is great.

So... trials are a necessary part of life and they do not always come because of wickedness. They will not last forever and God will bless us with more than we had. We need to keep our faith and trust in God during these times, and lastly, be a good friend and surround ourselves with good friends. Friends can be such a positive influence and when those around us are having difficult times we should help them and comfort them any way we can.

So earlier this year I felt this lesson applied, and that was in a scenario where there weren't bad events that happened, I just expected things to get better. As we've learned from Job, that's not always the case. Many of my friends and family members have lost their jobs during this 'economic crisis'. I know it is not because of their 'wickedness' and it's important to not judge those around us who may be having a harder time. Instead of asking 'why me?' or 'what did I do wrong?' we should just make sure we are living the best we can and take many lessons away from Job.

Open Our Eyes

2009-02-18T15:13:00.001-08:00

A couple months ago Jack shared a scripture story with me for Family Home Evening one night. It was found in 2 Kings Chapter 6, part of which reads:

And when the servant of the man of Goad was risen early, and gone forth, behold, an host compassed the city both with horses and chariots. And his servant said unto him, Alas, my master! how shall we do?

And he answered, Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them.

And Elisha prayed, and said, Lord, I pray thee, open his eyes that he may see. And the Lord opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha. (vs. 15-17)

Jack shared how we shouldn't fear. God is aware of us and we often have angels around us helping us and supporting us. He encouraged me to 'open my eyes' and start looking for those tender mercies more in my life and having faith in difficult situations.

I'd like to share one recent experience of our family. We would like more children and due to the increasing cost of medical care we thought a secondary insurance would be good to look into. It would be yet one more expense every month, when we do not have much, really any, money to spare. But we felt God has commanded us to have children and we want to build our family. We made the decision based on gospel principles and after praying about it decided to go forward with faith. We have immediately been blessed by the Lord as Jack was offered a second/third teaching position.

I feel so blessed to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, to have the knowledge and testimony I do. I know the Lord loves us and is aware of us and our situations. He wants to bless us and will bless us when we make righteous decisions. I am certain there are angels around us, helping us on those hard days. I know we need to open our eyes and Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them.

A Valentine's Day Message

2009-02-18T13:46:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I'm a couple days late, but it's a good message:

Gethsemane

2009-01-16T12:37:00.000-08:00

I am student-teaching seminary at Lehi High this semester. It is a great opportunity to interact with the youth of the church and discuss gospel principles. This week we reading from Luke chapter 22. It contains the account of the Savior's suffering in the garden of Gethsemane. It was there that he began his atonement for the sins and sorrows of the world--for us.

We discussed the meaning of "Gethsemane". It's a Greek transliteration of the Hebrew words Gath (meaning vat or press) and Shemen (meaning oil)--Gethsemane means "oil press". We took a look at the ancient process of olive oil production.

When the olives are first gathered the are crushed by this large stone wheel which is usually pushed by an animal. This first crushing can be used to produce "virgin" olive oil which would have been used in ancient times for temple ordinances and other use.

The pulp is then gathered into bags as shown.

The bags can then be placed in the beam press, or Gethsemene.

When the press is lowered the initial color of the oil that oozes from the bags is a dark reddish-brown, much like the color of blood. This oil would have been used for more of the day to day temporal activities such as lighting lamps.

I know the Jesus Christ went to Gethsemane that night and that he underwent a similar process. As he prayed to the Father, the weight of all the world came down upon him until even he bled from every pore. His atonement was for our benefit-both for our spiritual and our temporal concerns. I believe he went through an initial "pressing" to atone for our sins, but that he stayed the course and underwent a second "pressing" so that he could lift all of our other burdens. The Book of Mormon prophet Alma put it this way,
"And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities."

He did it because he loves us, and as John said, "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. "

A Christmas Carol

2009-01-04T13:53:00.000-08:00

Before it gets too late into the new year I wanted to share my thoughts on something new we did this year for Christmas. We decided to read A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens together as a family. While doing this we caught three different versions of this story on television, Mickey's Christmas Carol, the 1984 version with George C. Scott and the most recent one that I know of, the one that came out in 1999 with Patrick Stewart.

I think this is a wonderful story and me and Jack have often talked about how Charles Dickens came up with this amazing concept and how it is now so well accepted in our language. There are so many lessons that can be learned from the story, but there were two things that stuck out to me, and we were surprised to see them only portrayed in the latest movie, so I wanted to share them with you.

First, Scrooge, a greedy business man is visited by his old partner that died seven years earlier. He comes to warn him of what will happen if he doesn't change and tells him that three ghosts will come to visit him. As Marley is leaving he goes out the window and as Scrooge watches he sees the following:

"The air was filled with phantoms, wandering hither and thither in restless haste, and moaning as they went. ... He had been quite familiar with one old ghost in a white wasitcoat, with a monstrous iron safe attached to its ankle, who cried piteously at being unable to assist a wretched woman with an infant, whom it saw below, upon a door-step. The misery with them all was, clearly, that they sought to interfere, for good, in human matters, and had lost the power for ever."

I like this idea and find it so interesting that these people who were greedy in life want nothing more than to help people now, but can't. It shows what is really important in life, and that now is the time to change. Our time on earth is so limited but plays a crucial role in where we will be in the afterlife.

A second idea, which is along the same lines, comes when the ghost of Christmas present is leaving.

"From the foldings of its robe brought two children; wretched, abject, frightful, hideous, miserable. They knelt down at its feet, and clung upon the outside of its garment. ... 'Spirit! Are they yours?' Scrooge could say no more. 'They are Man's,' said the Spirit, looking down upon them. 'And they cling to me, appealing from their fathers. This boy is Ignorance. This girl is Want. Beware them both, and all of their degree, but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom, unless the writing be erased. Deny it!' cried the Spirit, stretching out its hand towards the city. 'Slanter those who tell it ye! Amit for your factious purposes, and make it worse! And bide the end!"

Scrooge is appalled by these children and is told to beware Ignorance and Want. Scrooge, when asked earlier to give to the poor gives an explanation of how we need poor, to fill prisons, and give people jobs. He displays ignorance in the way he lives and want in having money be all he desires, which lead him to let the love of his life leave. He believes his wealth and status qualifies him to sit in judgment on the poor rather than to assist them. If he lets these two traits continue to sit with him, Doom will come.

How that applies to all of us today. Though many of us don't have a lot of wealth, I think we often live in ignorance and judge others we see. We often want for ourselves rather than giving to others. But as we learn it is never too late to start anew. We should be more aware of those around us and try to serve others.

Though Christmas is past we can look to this story on how to live. Let us be more charitable and more Christlike all year long.

Unto you...

2008-12-20T08:24:00.001-08:00

The Christmas season is, of course, a wonderful time to remember the brith, life, death, resurrection, appearance to restore the gospel, and second coming of our Savior Jesus Christ. That is quite a bit to remember! We are truly blessed.

But more particularly, we remember his humble birth. The Living Christ, prepared by living witnesses--modern apostles and prophets-- of the Savior, makes the following statement:

As we commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ two millennia ago, we offer our testimony of the reality of His matchless life and the infinite virtue of His great atoning sacrifice. None other has had so profound an influence upon all who have lived and will yet live upon the earth.
As a family, we add our testimony to this. We know it is true.

Last week in our Sacrament meeting, we had a wonderful program arranged by the choir. Our ward bishop had asked me to conduct, and I chose to read a few words from the Gospel of Luke. While doing so, the spirit taught me a truth that I won't soon forget.

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

I was struck by the words "for unto YOU is born..." The angel did not say, "unto Mary" or "unto Joseph", though it certainly was the case. Previously, an angel had explained to Joseph that Mary would "bring forth a son, and... call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins." Just 8 days after his birth, Simeon would prophecy in the temple that Jesus would be "a light to lighten the gentiles." The Savior was born for us.

I think of the final words of The Living Christ: God be thanked for the matchless gift of His divine Son.

Come What May and Love It

2008-12-16T09:23:00.000-08:00

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin passed away on December 1, 2008 at age 91. He was sustained as a member of the twelve apostles on October 4, 1986 during general conference. I think we all have those 'favorite apostles,' someone that sticks out to you more than the others, and he was one for me.

Not only was I drawn to him for the feeling I got when seeing him, but he always shared good messages, things I felt that were really heart felt and made me love him more. I recall one year when he spoke of his wife who had passed away, they were words of such love, devotion and affection. It always melts my heart when I see two people that loved eachother so much. It makes me look forward to the future with my husband as I know our love can continue to grow if we nourish it.

So his last talk in General Conference before he passed away was no different and I thought I would highlight some things in honor of him. This time, I felt his great love for his mother and appreciation for her. He spoke of coming home from a football game being very disappointed to which his mother replied, "Joseph, come what may, and love it."

He went on to say:

"Every life has peaks and shadows and times when it seems that the birds don’t sing and bells don’t ring. Yet in spite of discouragement and adversity, those who are happiest seem to have a way of learning from difficult times, becoming stronger, wiser, and happier as a result.

The Lord in His wisdom does not shield anyone from grief or sadness.

How can we love days that are filled with sorrow? We can’t—at least not in the moment. I don’t think my mother was suggesting that we suppress discouragement or deny the reality of pain. I don’t think she was suggesting that we smother unpleasant truths beneath a cloak of pretended happiness. But I do believe that the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life."

What great words and applicable to every one. He gave some guidelines on how to react to adversity to ensure that we do experience happiness. First, he taught "learn to laugh," second, "seek the eternal," third, 'understand the principle of compensation" and lastly, "trust in the Father and in the Son."

It was a very pleasant talk which he shared some cute stories, to read the whole thing further visit http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=b5f44bb52a73d110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1

As I read through it a second time the line that stuck out most to me was "The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss." He promises "while it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.that every tear we shed will be compensated with tears of joy." That in itself brings peace. I hope we can all take these principles into practice and remember Elder Wirthlin for the great man he was.

Think to Thank

2008-11-19T10:41:00.000-08:00

Well with Thanksgiving around the corner and constantly hearing about how bad everything is I thought it would be good to 'count my many blessings.' There are so many things I am grateful for, but I've limited it to a top 10 list.

10. Priesthood - I think it is amazing that we have the power of God on earth. Though only worthy men can hold the power, I know we can all be blessed by it. Cute story: Jack told me the other day, 'you can hold the priesthood tonight' (then whispered, 'put your arms around me') :) It's good to enjoy those fun, nerdy times and have a worthy priesthood holder in my home. I have seen miracles in my own life and felt the blessings of partaking in the holy ordinances that would not be available without it.

9. Temples - I am also grateful for all the temples around the world, the many more they are building and will build in the future. I love to go to the House of the Lord and sit in the Celestial Room -it is such a peaceful place. I love to see family and friends be sealed and the happiness and love that is felt. I am grateful that I am worthy to hold a current temple recommend.

8. Families - Need I say more? I am grateful we are put in families, the love and support system they are. With that, technology and that I can talk to my parents and brothers and sisters and be able to visit with them. It's always a good time to get together with our families.

7. Church Publications - Since I haven't been working I spend more time at home and have come to really appreciate all the church publications. I love reading from the Joseph Smith manuel. I always get inspired to do good and be better. I am grateful for the Ensign put out every month and that I am able to look up older talks from the Brethren on the internet. I learn so much and feel better after reading them.

6. Prophets - Going along with the previous number, I know the prophets of old and the living prophet today are called of God and they are a Watchman on the Tower for the whole world. I feel so blessed that there is someone on earth to look to and listen to and feel at peace.

5. Prayer - I am so grateful that anyone can pray and that God will listen. There are often times when I feel overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions and at those times I can kneel and pour out everything. It is comforting to know that someone is listening and someone cares about my silly worries.

4. Holy Ghost - I am grateful I was able to receive the gift of the holy ghost and the blessings that come with that. Even though I sometimes struggle trying to understand it, I'm thankful that I know that when I am worthy I can have the Holy Ghost with me at all times. I feel so much better knowing that if I'm doing what I'm supposed to I will be comforted and guided at those difficult times.

3. Plan of Salvation - How can anybody not be truly grateful for knowing who they are, why they are here, and where they are going. It gives life purpose, gives me motivation, and peace that no matter what the end result will be worth it. I often think of the line from The Living Christ that says, "Christ will return to the earth and all flesh shall see it together. He will rule as King of Kings and reign as Lord of Lords. Every knee shall bend and every tongue shall speak in worship before Him. Each of us will stand to be judged of Him according to our works and the desires our hearts." It makes me excited for that day. It will be wonderful and I feel blessed knowing that what I do on earth right now and not giving up is going to matter.

2. Noah - When I think of him I often think of the cheesy My Turn on Earth song and the lines, "you can never know good if you never know the bad, you can never be happy if you've never been sad." :) As imperfect as I am and frustrated I get at times with him, he is so great to have in my life. He brings so many smiles, so many laughs, and so many good times. He is a wonderful spirit and brings so much to our home and family. I love being a mom and am very grateful that I have been trusted and privileged to raise him.

1. Jack - My husband tops the list. Everything would be so much harder without him. I've now known him for 8 1/2 years and it keeps getting better. He is a huge strength and support. He works nonstop to make sure he is doing the best he can with school, work, church, and our family. He constantly makes sacrifices. And he loves me and he loves Noah. I love watching him play with Noah, I love his smile, I love when he sings and plays the guitar for us. I love seeing him get excited about books or learning something new. I love him and everything he is, stands for, and does. I am so thankful to have met him and have him in my life.

What Is Marriage?

2008-11-07T13:33:00.000-08:00

My dear husband requested an odd present for his last birthday - an 1828 Websters Dictionary. However, it brings interesting insight to some things and most recently, with everything going on, I looked up the definition of marriage.

Marriage -
"The legal union of a man and woman for life. Marriage was instituted by God himself for the purpose of preventing the promiscuous intercourse of the sexes, for promoting domestic felicity, and for securing the maintenance and education of children."

So many things stick out to me in this. First, it a union of man and woman. I completely believe that "gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." God created each of us and each of us "is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny." God put Adam and Eve on the earth. Males and females are different, we all know this, each one is needed and they complement eachother in every way.

Second, it says God instituted it for the purpose of preventing the promiscuous intercourse of the sexes. I also believe the "the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife." Not only should this divine act be kept between man and woman, but I also believe God has commanded we must be married.

Elder Oaks, in a recent interview, responded to the attacks that we are keepings gays and lesbians from experiencing this by saying "the same thing we say to the many members who don’t have the opportunity to marry. We expect celibacy of any person that is not married." http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/public-issues/same-gender-attraction

Lastly, it is to promote domestic felicity, and for securing the maintenance and education of children. Fathers are able to do things mothers can't and vice versa. "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and reighteousness and are responsibleto provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."

I am so grateful I was raised by a father and mother who honored their marital vows with complete fidelity. I believe marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and I think it is so sad to see people's reaction to Prop 8. It isn't a matter of hate or inequality, it's a matter of wishing to secure the definition of marriage and the sacred role it has in God's eternal plan.

(Quotes taken from The Family: A Proclamation to the World)

Peace in Perilous Times

2008-10-16T10:28:00.000-07:00

As we all can see, and as mentioned by Jack in his earlier post, the world is not in the best condition. It can be quite discouraging watching the news or reading the paper and learning of all the corruption and destruction in the world.

I was reading from the Ensign, a publication put out by the church every month, last night and came across an article that caught my attention: "Protecting Our Families in the Last Days." No matter who we are or what our circumstance is we want the best for our families and loved ones.

In the Book of Mormon, Moroni, an ancient prophet, testified of our day saying:

"The power of God shall be denied and churches become defiled and be lifted up in the pride of their hearts. There shall be heard of fires, and tempests, and vapors of smoke in foreign lands. There shall also be heard of wars, rumors of wars, and earthquakes in divers places. There shall be great pollutions upon the face of the earth; there shall be murders, and robbing, and lying, and decievings, and whoredoms, and all manner of abominations." - Mormon 8:28-31

Despite how grim this all sounds there is one thing that brings hope and comfort in these words -they are true. These things are happening all around the world and Moroni, more than 1600 years ago, saw that and prophesied of that.

This should strengthen our testimony of prophets. They are seers and revelators who can see the future and receive revelation from God. We are blessed to have a modern day prophet, Thomas S. Monson. As we listen and follow his counsel we can be assured of that safety, security and happiness in these times.

This article reminded me of that huge blessing we have. I know God lives and loves us and has provided us with the tools we need to make it back to him. I am so grateful for a husband who loves his family and has a strong testimony of the gospel who can preside over his family in righteousness and provide protection by listening and following the counsel of prophets.

Patriotism?

2008-10-16T09:11:00.000-07:00

Well, it is that time of year isn't it? The 'final' presidential debate occured last night. I'm not going to take the time to discuss my personal views. Many people reading this would already know them. I will talk about something that has happened with me personally over the last few years.

After returning from my mission, I found myself back in an America worse than it was when I left. Gradually, I will admit, I found myself more and more jaded in regards to our government--I could list the many discouraging issues but such a daunting task would be inappropriate and contrary to my current purpose. I also found myself more and more apathetic towards a general patriotism and love for the more foundational principles of American government and society.

However, this last month brought with it the privledge of listening to our Prophets and Apostles speak in the 178th semi-annual general conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am blessed with the oppurtunity to do Armenian translation and interpretation for such events. As one of my talks, I was assigned Elder Boyd K. Packer, President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Here is an excerpt from his words:

The Saints knew that the Lord had told them to be “subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.”¹⁰ That commandment, revealed then, is true now of our members in every nation. We are to be law-abiding, worthy citizens.

The Lord told them, “I established the Constitution of this land, by the hands of wise men whom I raised up unto this very purpose.”¹¹

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And so on that day of celebration in 1849, “Elder Phineas Richards came forward in behalf of the twenty-four aged sires, and read their loyal and patriotic address.”¹³ He spoke of the need for them to teach patriotism to their children and to love and honor freedom. After he briefly recited the perils that they had come through, he said:

“Brethren and friends, we who have lived to three-score years, have beheld the government of the United States in its glory, and know that the outrageous cruelties we have suffered proceeded from a corrupted and degenerate administration, while the pure principles of our boasted Constitution remain unchanged. . . .

“. . . As we have inherited the spirit of liberty and the fire of patriotism from our fathers, so let them descend [unchanged] to our posterity.”¹⁴

One would think that, compelled by force of human nature, the Saints would seek revenge, but something much stronger than human nature prevailed.

The Apostle Paul explained:

“The natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned. . . .

“. . . We have the mind of Christ.” (for Elder Packers full text click here).

Despite what is going on in the here and now of American government and politics it does not change the fact the the Lord has his hand in the American founding. As Latter-day Saints we need to be true to those founding principles and patriotic as were our forefathers. The words spoken by Elder Packer have caused me to rethink many of my views--and repent of a few--in order to be more inline with the will of the Lord for his saints in these "perilous times."

In our family, we have purchased a book containing the some of the great works of the revolutionary and early republic periods (ie. the bill of rights, the declaration, some of the federalist papers, and other works by early patriots and founders). I feel we should be fluent and well understanding of these and other documents so that we may protect those principles that were established by the hand of wise men whom the Lord raised up for that very purpose.

Cleaving...

2008-10-02T16:01:00.000-07:00

So, we haven't posted in a while. Part of that has been because for the last two weeks Jill has been on a trip away from home with Noah, our baby. She went to Las Vegas for a wedding and to visit family, but I had to stay to work and go to school. It has really got me thinking about marriage. I am so grateful to have an understanding of what the Lord intends for marriage--that its not just a contract, but a covenant. We covenanted to love and care for one another, no matter what. If one of us doesn't keep our end of the deal, that doesn't mean that the contract is void and we can back out as so many do. We stay together and keep the 3 way covenant we made: I to Jill, Jill to Me, Us to the Lord.
As Jill has been away I have really thought about the creation story and Adam and Eve. I love the way the Lord puts it when he says, "It is not good for the man to be alone (Gen 2:18)." I have missed my wife so much. She provides so much for me. She is there for me mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally. I've realized that I am generally unmotivated and unproductive when she is not around. I see why the Lord said in the same verse, "I will make an help meet for him."
So many readers misunderstand this verse--and quite unfortunately I might add. Some would say it puts women in a secondary position, a helper for men. The verse does not imply that at all; in fact, it couldn't be farther from the truth.
The words help and meet are not a compound word. They are two separate words used to translate the idea of the hebrew. The word meet was used by the King James Translators to represent the idea of the Hebrew prefix ke- which means like, as, or suited/fit for and even equal to. The word help is the translation from the Hebrew ezer. It is used less than 20 times in the Old Testament. All but two of the times it used to describe God's nature and works. Once it is used to say that Pharoah is not a help (showing his contradiction to God's plan) and the other time is in the passage being discussed, to describe Eve. Thus the word is used to describe God and Eve only.
Eve, therefore, is a help for man in the same way God is. No one would say that God's efforts to help man put him in a lower or secondary position. I feel that my wife, Jill, is a help in the same way. She strengthens me. She renews me. She encourages me to live a righteous life and points me on the right path to do so. She is a bringer of life to our family in more ways than one. She is a help suited and fit and equal to me. Thank God for the gift of marriage and for wonderful, righteous, and amazing wives!

Pionner Day

2008-07-27T13:44:00.000-07:00

To most people, July 24th is just like every other day, however, to me it is a day to remember the sacrifices made by the early pioneers of this church. This past week our family was able to celebrate Pioneer Day by making fig newton, marshmallow covered wagons. Though it is a silly activity, we hope it will be something fun for our kids to grow doing to help remember this special day.

As Christopher Columbus made the voyage to the Americas and the pilgrims followed so long ago, we saw how important it was for people then to have their freedom and the right to practice their religious beliefs. This desire never died as we continue to travel forward in time and Jospeh Smith restored Christ's church to the earth. These early members desired to practice their beliefs but faced much persecution for it.

Early saints were forced from their homes moving from one place to another until they reached Nauvoo, Illinois. It was not the most desirable place to build a community, nevertheless, a place where early members of the Church of Jesus Christ believed they would be able to live in peace with the gospel being a part of their lives. Unfortunately, this was not the case and they made one more trek, the longest of all, westward until they reached the Great Salt Lake 161 years ago in Utah, which is now the church's headquarters.

My family was able to take a vacation a couple years ago and visit many church sites, one being Nauvoo, Illinois. This was such a special experience for me as my testimony and gratitude for these people grew so much. When they arrived there it was a swampy, ugly place, but they turned it into a beautiful city and built a temple to the Lord there. It took a lot of hard work and today many buildings still stand.

It is amazing to see their dedication put forth to build this city and their faith to leave it all, not even knowing where they would end up. The Nauvoo Temple is, in my opinion, the most beautiful. For these people to sacrifice so much to build it and then leave it, near complete, must have been so difficult. Two years after the saints left Nauvoo it was burned and left as rubble by a tornado two years after that. In April 1999 President Gordon B. Hinkley announced a replica of this beautiful temple would be re-built in the same spot. I am so grateful that decision was made so that I could visit this monument which stands as a symbol of their true love of God, Jesus Christ and everything else this gospel stands for. Nauvoo is a special place and the spirit resides so strong there, it was an amazing place to visit and remember my heritage.

Marriage is Ordained of God

2008-07-25T13:29:00.000-07:00

"Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God" -The Family Proclamation

In the past few months I got the priviledge of seeing my two sisters take the man they love into the House of the Lord and be married. Being in the room with them and watching the ceremony there were two things that stood out to me. At my younger sister's wedding I kept thinking, "she looks SO happy" and at my older sister's wedding I kept thinking, "She looks SO pretty." Now I have pretty sisters and we always smile, but this day I saw something different.

I've thought about it and I came to realize she looked so happy because she was doing what God wants us all to do. "For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? / Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh." - Matthew 19:5-6 She found someone she loved and was sealed to him in the temple. I believe God witnessed that and will bless them for making right choices.

Similarly, my older sister was so beautiful because she had the spirit with her. She had that happiness. I was so happy for each of them that they can now share in that joy I have. I know that because this eternal marriage is ordained of God I have responsibility in doing my part to keep God a part of my marriage and keeping the commandments.

Salt Lake Temple Trip

2008-07-16T11:10:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, Jill and I were able to go to the Salt Lake Temple. One of my closest mission companions is getting married soon, and his fiance was recieving her endowment--an ordinance or religious rite performed in our temples. The endowment includes covenants that we make similar to those at baptism. We promise to live according to God's commandments, and He promises to bless us. It was a great expirience. When I had some time to myself I was able to sit and ponder for a minute in the temple. I really felt the presence of the Lord. I could feel that it was a sacred place and I knew that the power of God and revelation has been restored today. We feel so blessed to be able to visit these sacred places where the spirit of the Lord is so strong, and where the Lord himself may visit from time to time.

I am a child of God

2008-07-14T10:25:00.000-07:00

"Each (person) is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny."
-The Family: A Proclamation to the World

Mark 10:16 "And he took them (the children) up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them."

This is similar to the baby blessings we perform today. When Christ blessed the children, he did so with the authority from God. Today we have that same authority, the Melchezidek Priesthood, which was restored to the earth to Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery by Peter James and John. After a baby is born, a Melchezidek priesthood leader, usually the father, gives the child a name and a blessing.

Our child was blessed about a month after he was born. During this blessing he was blessed that he would grow healthy and strong, remember his forefathers and their righteous works and that that righteousness would continue to him. He was blessed to know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God who was crucified for the sins of the world and that he would be a missionary to share that testimony with others.

It was a very special experience for me as I felt the spirit testify to me that he was a son of God who loved him very much. I felt blessed to be trusted to raise this very special spirit. I felt excitement and joy that he would be an instrument in God's hands in sharing this gospel and bringing happiness to many others. I was reminded of my responsibility to raise this child in a home of love and teach him correct principles.

I am so thankful I have a knowledge of the Plan of Happiness, God's plan for each and every one of us. That we lived before we came to earth and that we can return to live with God. We will be judged according to our works and the desires of our hearts. I know God loves all of us and wants us to return to him.

What we believe about families...

2008-07-07T11:59:00.000-07:00

One of the reasons that we believe so firmly in the importance of families is because of a document issued by our living prophets and apostles, called "The Family: A Proclamation to the World". We try to live by the guidelines set forth and believe that these words have come from God, Our Heavenly Father, so that we can be happy in this life. To read the proclamation, its only one page long, follow this link: Read the Proclamation

The Name of the Blog...

2008-07-07T11:13:00.000-07:00

The name of the blog is a quote from Ephesians 1:10 in the New Testament. We chose this name because it represents the reason why we live the way we do. Why did we get married so young? Why do we have a child so soon? Why do we spend so much time serving in our church, etc?

The apostle Paul in the New Testament (along with so many other prophets and apostles) prophesied that in the last days (our days!) that there would be a "dispensation of the fullness of times"--in other words a period of time when God would reach out to his children again by calling prophets and restoring all the truths from every era in the past. We live in this time.

In 1820, God the father and His Son Jesus Christ personally ushered in this new era. They visited a young man named Joseph Smith and called him to be a prophet just like Noah, Moses or Abraham from the bible.

Through Joseph Smith, Heavenly Father restored, or brought back to mankind, his power and authority to act in religious affairs. God revealed commandments for those who believe in him. We live by those commandments, or try to the best we can. Since Joesph Smith, God has continued to call prophets to guide us and give us a "fullness" of gospel truths. We try to structure our family around those truths. This blog is all about why we do what we do and live like we live.