Modesty

I've seen a few articles and ads pop up recently making fun of modesty. It too, is starting to become a negative thing that you can not teach or you're deemed evil. One article in particular that caused me a lot of grief described modesty in doing the following things- Feeling like what you look like is what matters most of all; you are always on display; contributes to eating disorders; women are decorations; not human, and more. The author felt like they couldn't grow normal and had to look like an adolescent boy so not to draw attention from men. She closed with the statement "Modesty is a philosophy that dehumanizes. It incites constant fear and vigilance in one sex while excusing the other of all responsibility. It's immoral."

How has modesty become something defined as 'immoral?' Modesty does not do those things. If it is taught poorly or you are surrounded by people that make your dress seems most important I can see where problems may arise. However, modesty taught correctly will bring self-respect. The church offers a clear definition of modesty that can be found here. It teaches "Modesty is an attitude of propriety and decency in dress, grooming, language, and behavior. We seek to 'glorify God in [our] body, and in [our] spirit" (1 Corinthians 6:20). I like that it teaches it is more than dress but includes grooming, language and behavior. It encourages looking neat and clean, embracing you are a female and God's child. It shows gratitude and understanding of our precious bodies. It invites the Holy Ghost to be with us. When we understand modesty and have the Holy Ghost with us we will not fall into Satan's trap of using modesty to destroy one's body and image.

A few comments agreed the author's definition of modesty was not accurate, but that it is how it is taught. I can not say what people hear from local church leaders (and obviously the world will teach modesty wrong), but we can always turn to the Brethren. A few argued this and felt modesty was taught more than it should instead of things of more importance like self-worth. I found in a quick search on lds.org that in most, if not all, talks referring to modesty address that we are children of God and loved by Him. In a General Conference search 38 talks show under 'modesty' but 2,212 come up under "child of God." We need to remember we are children of a Heavenly Father who loves us and our bodies are gifts from Him that we need to respect and take care of. I think that is a primary focus taught by the Church.

Another argument was men are off the hook-modesty teaches girls are the problem and it does not leave men with any responsibility. In my experience there are far more talks on pornography than modesty. The pornography talks are addressed primarily to the men (just as modesty talks are usually addressed to women though both doctrines apply to both sexes) and teaches the evil of it. Men are pleaded to stay away from it. If a woman is dressed immodestly, even in her own backyard as one suggested, she is not the one to blame. Most are familiar with the story of David and Bathsheba and it is David's sin. He is punished. That is not to say that yes, women can play a role and we should dress modestly so not to distract or be an enticement. I think many, myself included, are/were unaware of the effect we can have on men, especially in the adolescent ages. A talk that has received a lot of critique was by Elder Oaks entitled Pornography. Note the title. Elder Oaks teaches the 'wickedness in their hearts' referring to a scripture and men participating in pornography. There is one sentence addressed to young women-"Please understand that if you dress immodestly, you are magnifying this problem by becoming pornography to some of the men who see you." This is not a talk directed to women teaching modesty. It  merely brings attention to something you may never have considered. We should want to help protect those we love and encourage men to stay away from this damaging evil.

I would hope that we can understand the true principle of modesty and seek to glorify our God by striving to be modest in our dress, actions, and words.