Teaching Children

I was asked to share a couple thoughts in Relief Society on teaching our children. I only had a couple minutes, and there is so much I felt like I could say, even though, let's face it, you could never guess by looking at my kids that it's important to us. :) Anyway, I wanted to document my thoughts I shared here.

When I think of teaching my kids, there are two main ways we try to do that-structured teaching, and everyday teaching. For each I tried to narrow it into three good ways to do that.

STRUCTURED TEACHING
1. Family Home Evening. #1 easiest (and best) way to teach your kids. You can decide on topics that are important to you or that they need help with. You can study and prepare ahead of time, go into depth and really help them understand the principle, its importance and how to apply with related games/activities, etc. It's the only time of the week we have a clear-set sit down and listen teaching time.

2. Family Scripture. We don't read a lot each night. I'm talking 5-15 verses probably. But we ask a lot of questions  (do you know what this word means? what did I just say-in their own words. how do you think you would feel? etc) and they ask a lot of questions in return. It's amazing some of the connections they make and things they think of. So sometimes we go off topic, but have good discussions. By using scripture time as a way to teach not only are you teaching them the stories and princples in the book, but a love for the scriptures and habit to read every day, along with how to think. So many people read the scriptures but don't know how to study. Use this time to teach them how to apply principles and ask questions about what they're reading.

3. Family Dinner. It's a good conversational bonding time. But especially on Sundays its a great time to teach. We always ask our kids what they learned in class because let's be honest, kids sometimes mix things up in their heads or come away with something completely wrong. Jack teaches for a living and gets some angry calls from parents on him teaching false doctrine (that he clearly doesn't do). But Noah came home last week from school and told me they learned to 'pop drugs. not popcorn.' I asked him 3 times before he realized he was saying it wrong. So make sure they understand the things they are taught. See if they have questions and help them learn it a little deeper.

EVERYDAY TEACHING

1. Family Rules. We don't have a lot of rules in our house, but we use the principles in the Family Proclamation as our rules. They are up on our wall and every night before we got to bed  we say a little cheer. We put our hands in together and shout "Faith. Prayer. And Repentance. Love. Respect. And Forgiveness. Then comes Work. And Compassion. Finally Wholesome Recreation!... Manis Family Rules!" ('cause we rule, and they're our rules, get it? :) Our kids are young and think it's great, but we constantly remind them and apply those 'rules.' When they are fighting, 'hey, are you showing love?' When they are holding a grudge from their brother that stole something but apologized, 'hey, which one of our family rules do you need to work on?' Whining about work...'Manis Family...(works!)' etc. I mean, they are always there. And we don't have some big lecture or lesson, it's a simple reminder (though sometimes we do spend more time on it). It's a great way we use to always teach and have them apply.

2. Example. Pretty basic. We are always taught to teach by example and kids are especially observant. When I get out the vacuum, Elsie goes and grabs her little walker to push around the house with me. They mimic everything they see and hear. So just be really cautious about what you are saying, how you are saying it (tone, positive, etc), what you are watching and listening to. For a little while I started a season of Amazing Race. I like to see places around the world and it was just an easy, 'have on tv while i'm folding laundry show.' But, it's a reality show, and stressful for the contestants. Therefore, they were using the Lord's name in vain frequently. I didn't really notice how often it was until my little on (whom I've  taught we don't say that) says, 'Mom. Why do you watch this if they always say that?' Oh. If I'm teaching it's wrong, and voluntarily letting it in my house I guess that's counterproductive. Acts. Language. Media.

3. Conversation with kids. This doesn't have to be anything big. But look for ways teach in your conversation.  One thing I do is every night I ask my kids what their favorite part of the day is. They don't think I'm teaching them anything when I do this. But my secret goal by having these bedtime conversations with them is to learn how to be optomistic, look for the good things in their day and have gratitude. I've tried asking them when they get home from school when they talk about their day to ask if they helped anyone. How great is it if they know I'm going to ask them every day so they start looking for ways to serve - held the door open, picked up a pencil someone dropped, shared a snack, etc. And Dad does interviews with the kids about once a month. It is a great time for him to talk to them one-on-one and see how they're doing. He's not 'teaching' them, but if they have questions or are struggling with something it's a safe and comfortable time for them to bring things up.

So that's what I shared on teaching kids, but I decided to close with a final thought, to learn for yourself! It's great to teach kids. But if you're not constantly teaching yourself, you're not going to be in the best position to teach them.

LAST, LEARN FOR YOURSELF
For me, it is hard to be motivated to 'learn.' I don't go to school. I haven't had a 'teaching calling' since I've been married. So I never prepare primary, yw or rs lessons. I just found myself never really studying anything and it got depressing. So... I decided to get more active in this! Have a blog or journal where you write insights you have. Or pick a topic you want to study and write up a little 'devotional' thing for it. It has helped me read a lot more Ensign articles, scriptures, and look for lessons I learn from life.

Second, if you're married, take advantage of your spouse. Jack studies scriptures for his prep, then teaches them all day long, then does his personal study, and then does family study. So when I was kind of adamant we have couple scripture study too, he was a little burned out from it. So, we try to do a 'couple study' every night and take turns who's in charge. And we vary it a lot. But it still allows us to think and talk and get insights from eachother. Some ideas and things we do are watch a conference talk, prepare a little devotional from a scripture you read, share a thought from the ensign article, mormon messages, and there are lots of story, quote or daily thought/scripture books. I love Packer's book that gives little stories. Maxwell has a good one too. Just learn from eachother.

So anyway, I think learning and teaching is important and it's a skill I continue to try to improve on with myself and implementing with our kids.