I've just been paying closer attention to 'being happy' and quickly realized, 'Oh. I need patience' as I deal with the never-ending fights, and cries, and begging for more food. So I searched it and what do you know, the first thing that came up was, "Patience, a Key to Happiness" by Elder Wirthlin. I loved Elder Wirthlin. I don't know if it was just that happy old grandpa feel he had, or his name reminds me werthers originals :), but I just had a love for him. And so yes, a key element I missed in my last 'happiness' post, is patience. Sometimes it's patience you need to have that happiness you deserve.
And when I read about patience, think about patience, I feel it is often taught, 'Patience in trials. Patience with the Lord. Trust his timetable." And that is a different kind of patience. That patience is closely related to faith. I'm still not always great at it, but I get it. The day-to-day patience is tougher. Not necessarily during 'trials,' just life. I feel bad calling my children "trials." Because they're blessings. So I need patience with those little blessings. :) My problem is not not trusting the Lord. I'm not asking, 'why are my kids this way?!" I get it. They're little. They're dumb. And I honestly don't want them to be grown. I already often feel like time is moving too fast. Let them stay little. I just need the patience to get through their dumb. Or even if it isn't kids. It's getting irritated that my internet cuts out multiple times during the day. No trusting the Lord's timetable there. It's just learning to not be quick to anger. And it's harder finding church talks on that aspect.
So, this is dumb. But I think about it, and when I think about it, it often helps. It's an episode of Family Matters and Carl Winslow gets irritated a lot by Steve Urkel. I get it! And so his therapist or somebody tells him whenever he feels himself getting angry to say, "3-2-1. 1-2-3. What the heck is bothering me?" And so even just that few seconds of separating yourself from the situation helps. And makes me chuckle that I'm using Family Matters episodes to help me in life. haha.
Anyway, that isn't to say there isn't any help out there from apostles on the matter. Let me share a few things from that talk I did like!
The Apostle Paul gave the purpose of patience in his epistle to the Saints in Rome: “We glory in tribulations … knowing that tribulation worketh patience; (Romans 5:3-4)
Again, I don't love the word tribulation. Instead, fill it in with - the boys can't find their shoes, again! The dog drags in leaves from the yard ALL day! Why isn't our toaster working?! Stop leaving the back-door open! Who dumped water all over the floor and didn't clean it up?!
So read that scripture again - "We glory in kids whining when you ask them to bring you a diaper...knowing their whining worketh patience."
So really, these day-to-day frustrations are just going to help me become a better person. Who doesn't wish they were better? I do. Okay. Think of it as ways you are becoming better.
So then, later in the scripture it says we are blessed when patient, "But unto them that are contentious [impatient], and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, indignation and wrath, tribulation and anguish." (Romans 2:6-9)
Well, tribulation and anguish don't sound so great. So I better not respond with contention or impatience. So by exercising patience I am becoming better AND avoiding some pretty terrible stuff. Maybe it's like a promise, 'If you handle this well, I won't give you anything worse.' :) It's worth putting in some serious effort. :)
Another line from the talk that stood out to me said, "We should not be unduly discouraged nor in despair at any time when are doing the best we can." Those kids just don't seem to be learning anything. You repeat yourself over and over and over. And when I'm in sacrament meeting with 4 little kids by myself, that are yelling, or hitting, or pretending their sacrament bread is a gun with shooting noises and actions, no matter how many times I try to teach them reverence and the sacredness of the sacrament, I shouldn't be discouraged. It's a wild thought. But if I am doing the best I can, which I often feel I am, I should not be discouraged. Elder Wirthlin told me not to. And maybe my kids are helping others around us to learn how to be patient too. :) 'Stop complaining. They're just helping you be a better person!' ha. Oh goodness.
To close I'm just going to copy 2 paragraphs from his talk relating to family relationships, mainly ones with our kids. Because if you can't tell, that's where my patience struggles the most. :) Enjoy!
Patience with family members and others who are close to us is vital for us to have happy homes. However, we often seem more willing to be courteous and polite with strangers than with those in our own family circles. For some reason, criticism, sharp language, and quarreling too often seem to be acceptable at home but not away from home.
Parents, be patient with your children. Read to your little children and help them with their schoolwork, even if you need to tell or show them the same thing many times. Elder Richard L. Evans said, “If they find that they can trust us with their trivial questions, they may later trust us with more weighty ones” (Ensign, May 1971, p. 12). Capitalize on their natural curiosity and help them develop a love for learning. Teach them the principles of the gospel in simple terms. Be patient with them if they disturb family home evening or family prayers. Convey to them the reverence you feel for the gospel, Church leaders, and the Savior.
I want to try to enjoy them more. I feel like I'm a pretty good mom. I ask how their day was after school, help with homework, and read to them at night. But I know when I am doing things with them, even if I need to convince myself to do it, I develop more love for them. So, I think it's worth a try, If I can spend more unstructured time with them, I think it may influence how patient I am with them. A part of me worries it will make it worse, ha, but at least maybe I am building some of that trust from them. And if all else fails, you can always count on prayer. Ask Heavenly Father for help and strength.
Again, I don't love the word tribulation. Instead, fill it in with - the boys can't find their shoes, again! The dog drags in leaves from the yard ALL day! Why isn't our toaster working?! Stop leaving the back-door open! Who dumped water all over the floor and didn't clean it up?!
So read that scripture again - "We glory in kids whining when you ask them to bring you a diaper...knowing their whining worketh patience."
So really, these day-to-day frustrations are just going to help me become a better person. Who doesn't wish they were better? I do. Okay. Think of it as ways you are becoming better.
So then, later in the scripture it says we are blessed when patient, "But unto them that are contentious [impatient], and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, indignation and wrath, tribulation and anguish." (Romans 2:6-9)
Well, tribulation and anguish don't sound so great. So I better not respond with contention or impatience. So by exercising patience I am becoming better AND avoiding some pretty terrible stuff. Maybe it's like a promise, 'If you handle this well, I won't give you anything worse.' :) It's worth putting in some serious effort. :)
Another line from the talk that stood out to me said, "We should not be unduly discouraged nor in despair at any time when are doing the best we can." Those kids just don't seem to be learning anything. You repeat yourself over and over and over. And when I'm in sacrament meeting with 4 little kids by myself, that are yelling, or hitting, or pretending their sacrament bread is a gun with shooting noises and actions, no matter how many times I try to teach them reverence and the sacredness of the sacrament, I shouldn't be discouraged. It's a wild thought. But if I am doing the best I can, which I often feel I am, I should not be discouraged. Elder Wirthlin told me not to. And maybe my kids are helping others around us to learn how to be patient too. :) 'Stop complaining. They're just helping you be a better person!' ha. Oh goodness.
To close I'm just going to copy 2 paragraphs from his talk relating to family relationships, mainly ones with our kids. Because if you can't tell, that's where my patience struggles the most. :) Enjoy!
Patience with family members and others who are close to us is vital for us to have happy homes. However, we often seem more willing to be courteous and polite with strangers than with those in our own family circles. For some reason, criticism, sharp language, and quarreling too often seem to be acceptable at home but not away from home.
Parents, be patient with your children. Read to your little children and help them with their schoolwork, even if you need to tell or show them the same thing many times. Elder Richard L. Evans said, “If they find that they can trust us with their trivial questions, they may later trust us with more weighty ones” (Ensign, May 1971, p. 12). Capitalize on their natural curiosity and help them develop a love for learning. Teach them the principles of the gospel in simple terms. Be patient with them if they disturb family home evening or family prayers. Convey to them the reverence you feel for the gospel, Church leaders, and the Savior.
I want to try to enjoy them more. I feel like I'm a pretty good mom. I ask how their day was after school, help with homework, and read to them at night. But I know when I am doing things with them, even if I need to convince myself to do it, I develop more love for them. So, I think it's worth a try, If I can spend more unstructured time with them, I think it may influence how patient I am with them. A part of me worries it will make it worse, ha, but at least maybe I am building some of that trust from them. And if all else fails, you can always count on prayer. Ask Heavenly Father for help and strength.
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