Sacrifice

My computer has been dead, but now i have one on loan from my mom! So though this posting is late, I had written it down at the scheduled date.

I have been thinking about sacrifice a lot lately, and the covenant we make to sacrifice. We are to be building up the kingdom of God. That is our goal. That is what we have promised. And we should use our time and talents to do that. And it seems easy enough in theory. We sacrifice time by going to church every week. I'm happy to sacrifice that. I play piano for church meetings. I'm using my talents to help. I can handle that. But sometimes sacrifice requires a little more.

I think about sacrament meeting a lot. Sundays are hard. They are long. And tiring. The whole day. But sacrament meeting, that's me on my own with the kids and so much pressure to have them all quiet, still, and reverent. It's not very pleasant most of the time. Our stake president and 1st councilor in the stake presidency were there last Sunday. I got up twice, and still felt like Noah and Ezra were disrespectful, and LOUD- laughing, not sitting still or listening for sure. Elsie crying. Asher just moody. It was very, very tiring. A guy in front of me made a comment about a wrestling match, and yep,that's what it felt like. But as tiring as it is, I wouldn't change it. I don't feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick. We're doing what we're supposed to be doing. And there is satisfacation in that.

I think of Jack and his qualities and how much good he can do. I think of that covenant, sacrifice for the building up of the kingdom of God, and that's what he is doing. And it makes me feel good. I'm happy to sacrifice my husband (his time anyway :) and some sanity and peace in my part, because I feel like there is good he can do. And should do. And I don't want to be the one to stop him or hold him back from what he should be doing. I'm a support. I've promised to sacrifice just as much as he has. We're doing good as a family. Sure it gets a little discouraging sometimes. I have a friend and her husband was just called as bishop. She wrote, "I have seen so many blessings I can't imagine why everyone isn't asking to be bishop!" :) She also only has one small child... But sometimes I think, where are those blessings? How come my kids are still so rotten? But I have seen improvements and I'm not worried.

Another thought when I think of sacrifice- after Adam and Eve are driven out of the Garden of Eden, Adam makes sacrifice to the Lord. An angel comes to him and asks, "Why dost thou offer sacrifices unto the Lord? And Adam said unto him: I know not, save the Lord commanded me." We can obviously be making sacrifices, because that's what we're supposed to do. We know we're supposed to. But we don't really understand, or may not being attention to - why.

The angel replies, "This thing is a similitude of the sacrifice of the Only Begotten of the Father, which is full of grace and truth. Wherefore, thou shalt do all that thou doest in the name of the Son...And in that day the Holy Ghost fell upon Adam...And in that day Adam blessed God and was filled" (Moses 5:6-10). The angel teaches Adam why. He doesn't say, "Well good job. Keep it up." There is added satisfaction and blessings when we know why and make our sacrifices with a purpose. When we know our efforts are in similitude of Christ, and we think of Him. If we are repenting and having the Holy Ghost, we can be filled. And be happy as Eve later expresses.

I'm not perfect. But I can see that. I have that. I offer these sacrifices to the Lord and think of His great sacrifice for us. It helps me be willing and happy to offer those sacrifices. No, it's not always easy, but it's worth it. haha. Don't you hate that fake quote and picture of Jesus. But I can't argue with the truth of it. :) Anyway, as tired as I often feel, I also feel filled. And it's good.