O Remember, Remember

I know this isn't new, but I love it.



Doesn't it just speak to you and make you say, yes! yes! And so it's so hard to not get frustrated with yourself when you're not consistent with it since you love it so much, but for the last month I've tried really hard to do this. Now, I think about it a lot. For years I have. I remember the talk. I like the idea. But what I have noticed in the last little bit is instead of just thinking about it and asking myself that question, I have tried to write it down.

Instead of asking, 'have I seen the Lord's hand in my life,' (which I think is a bit more daunting and difficult if you feel like you're not good at seeing the Lord's hand), I have asked myself 'what was your favorite part of the day?' Remember, I'm trying to be more positive. And I'll be honest, it was really hard for me sometimes. I think... ugh. I didn't like anything today! But as I've been doing it, it has gotten easier and easier. Instead of my one favorite thing, I'll think of three or four. I just spend my entire day looking for my favorite part. So something will happen and I'll say, 'oh, this is probably it.' thinking nothing even close to being good will happen, so that will have to be the best of the worst. But then something else happens and I think, 'oh, well maybe this is better than that last thing.' I don't know if that makes sense. But it has helped me a lot. Just looking for good things. And making things that I normally wouldn't consider good, but thinking of them as a good thing, and then they actually start becoming good. So one thing I've enjoyed from doing it is being more thankful for things in my life.

And the second thing, as I've been writing it down, I notice things I didn't really notice when I thought about them. For example, one day I documented my favorite part of the day when Noah came home from school and was telling me they had an assembly that day. And at the assembly they played the chicken dance. And so Noah, Ezra and Asher danced around the family room doing the chicken dance laughing and being silly. It was a fun moment.

But when I was writing about the experience I mentioned that when Noah said they did the chicken dance Ezra said, "And I did NOT do the chicken dance! I am not doing that in front of everyone!" (He's a very self-conscious little boy). And Noah said, "Why? Because you didn't want to shake your bum like this?!" and then shook his bum. And that's when Ezra started laughing and they started dancing together. So when I was writing it I noticed I was writing about how thankful I was that Ezra feels safe and comfortable in his home that he isn't worried about what we think of him like he would at school. And I think that's wonderful. I may not have appreciated had I just thought, 'those boys are funny.' Instead I was able to recognize that I am being a mother that is making my home a place they are secure and can talk to me about anything and act like themselves. Does that make sense?

Another example, I wrote about how my favorite part of the day was lying in the grass at night with Jack. But I write more of a journal-entry (like Eyring says, events of the day) then a one-line, this was it. So as I wrote about what was going on that evening, I planned a craft-night. Got supplies together, made cookies and invited about 20 girls. No one came. I sat and crafted by myself, and it was fine, but my kids were out and crawling all over me, which Jack probably would have been more aware of had there been other people there. But then Elsie wouldn't go to sleep and was screaming! The night wasn't the fun, relaxing night I was hoping for, so when Jack went out to get the mail that night I stepped outside and laid on the grass. He joined me. There was a football game going on at the school and we could hear the announcer from our yard. I heard Elsie screaming inside. I laid with Jack in the grass staring up at the stars and those other noises and distractions seemed muffled. My focus was on Jack and I was able to just enjoy lying there with him in the darkness. It felt peaceful and so nice. And when I wrote about it, I was able to pull another lesson. Lots of times in life things don't go the way we would hope. There are distractions. There are difficulties. But we are still able to drown away the wickedness or noise of the world and have quiet times with our Savior. We can feel peace if we put in the time and effort. Obviously these are condensed versions, but it gave me another way of looking at and enjoying my night.

I frequently find lessons I learned throughout the day now as I write about it. They are things I wouldn't even notice or acknowledge or grow from near as much had I not written them down. It just brings a different dimension, or works a different part of your brain to make connections that just experiencing or thinking about it doesn't do. So, I want to continue to do that and see how it changes me and appreciate my Savior more and see his hand in my life.