Family Connections

Just a quick background - my aunt adopted 2 children, she then had 10 children of her own. I loved visiting these cousins when I was young since there was always so much to do. The second oldest, who was adopted, was different from the rest of them though. Everyone was super active and into sports but she was a bookworm. Since I wasn't so gifted in sports either I loved sitting with her under my Grandma's apple tree while we would read books or just talk. I looked up to her and respected her.

Somewhere along the line things got bumpy and she didn't feel like she fit in. When she was in her early 20's she married, had kids and I started seeing a whole lot less of her when I would visit. Eventually it led to no contact with her family. The last time I saw her was at my cousin's wedding 4 years ago and I found out she was going through a divorce. It was several years before that the last time I saw her.

But of course I still think about her a lot. I wonder where she is at or how she is doing. I've had no contact information-email, phone, address, so all I could do is pray and hope she was doing okay. The last time I put her name in the temple I was on facebook the next day and on the side of my screen where it suggests friends for you (which I usually completely ignore) I saw her face! She was going by a different name, and I couldn't see really any other information, but I knew it was her. I put in a friend request, not really sure if she would accept since she didn't want contact with her family. A few days went by and I never got a confirmation.

The next time I went to the temple I put her name on the prayer roll again. Two days later I received a confirmation that I was now friends with her! I know that may seem silly, but for me it was an answer to prayer. I now have contact, which I haven't had for who knows how long. I sent her a message and though she hasn't responded, I was happy I could do that. I love her and wish her the best, want to re-establish a relationship, and her to realize how much her family loves her. Though admittedly I never hear her name mentioned when I'm with her family and have been a bit confused as to what happened to cause the separation or if there were bad feelings there.

Since I have friended her I have seen she is now friends with my mom, and one of her sisters. Today I saw her sister posted a message on her wall - Hi! I was at girls camp last night and couldn't stop thinking of all the years we went together and you took such good care of me!! Thanks for that and all the fun memories of playing together. Love you tons!!! You're so beautiful and so are your children!!" Such a simple comment but I loved reading it. The more her family reaches out to her, express their love, and pray, I know that someday those ties will be made again.

I just wanted to post my testimony of the blessings that come from the temple and the power of prayer. Also the importance of family and to never stop loving or losing hope in anyone. My cousin has since changed her profile picture back to just a piece of artwork. It is clear she still wants to remain under the radar. She would have been completely unrecognizable without that picture and her different name. Just for however long she had that picture up, her face to appear on the side of my page and for me to look is a miracle. I am grateful for those little manifests of an omniscient God in my life.

Never Forsake

One of the songs we sang during sacrament meeting yesterday was How Firm a Foundation. This song has 7 verses, and most of the time in church we only sing the first three. My favorite is the last verse-

The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose

I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;

That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,

I'll never, no never, I'll never, no never

I'll never, no never, no never forsake!

Every. single. time. I hear those last words I am moved. It is sung with such power and conviction. There is something about repeating 'never' seven times that just burns to your soul that you will never give up, no matter what comes our way or what we are challenged with. There is no question.

Satan is rampant and working to destroy us any way he can whether it be attacking the family, pride, making you feel like you're failing, financial hardships, other people testing your faith, name it it's there, but it does not matter. I just love the testimony that accompanies those words. Be strong. You can do it. Never give up.

Good Things

Saturday was a good day. It started with me seeing Jack speak at a youth conference. They were running late so when we got there, there was still a speaker before him. I sat on the couch with him in the hallway listening to this other guy's talk and thought, how great would a life be just surrounded by things of the gospel. I would be happy. Listening to uplifting talks, being with people you love, having the spirit with you-it’s a good feeling. Jack did an amazing job and has been blessed with the gift to teach.

When we got home we left a few minutes later to go to the temple. I was able to witness a family in our ward be sealed for time and eternity. It was beautiful. A few times while sitting in the sealing room I felt overcome with feelings of happiness-just pure joy. The sealing room was adjoined to the celestial room, so when the doors were open you can see people coming into the celestial room. I watched loved ones meet together. Hug. It was just a happy sight. You could feel what it would be like to be reunited with our loved ones after we die and enter into our Heavenly Father’s presence. It will be a very happy time.

Then I looked around the room we sat in. People in our ward, all there to support a family we loved. That touched me. That we can share in happy moments with other people. Yesterday during testimony meeting so many people shared their feelings and testimony of being there. How wonderful that our testimonies can grow from other people's experiences. We can all learn and grow together.

Then of course when the family was being sealed it was perfect. I loved when their children walked in. They have a daughter who is in primary (I serve in the presidency so work closely with her) and she looked so beautiful. It was like an angel walking into the room, dressed in all white and looked so innocent and happy. To hear them be sealed for time and all eternity is such a wonderful blessing. This family is changed forever. They have been together for 20 years, but not until now can they be together after they die. It was such a sweet spirit testifying that families are eternal and I couldn’t have been more happy for them.

Lastly I was able to go to the baptism of 2 kids in our primary. It was fun to see this first saving ordinance performed that allows them to become a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and receive eternal salvation. Afterwards they were confirmed and received the gift of the Holy Ghost. Little children are adorable. They are so excited and it is neat to see that even though they are so young, they know and are excited that they are making a good choice and becoming more like their Savior Jesus Christ by doing so.

Overall, it was such a sweet day. Witnessing these ordinances and watching people come unto Christ. A constant witness of the Holy Ghost testifying of truths. It really does want you to have that become a part of you, to see that and to feel that all the time. I have a testimony that living the gospel brings happiness. As we surround ourselves with good things, leave behind things that distract us, or keep us from better things, and work to fulfill our role, we will have the spirit with us more. We are better people and we are happier when we have the Holy Ghost with us. In Moroni 10:5 we are taught, "And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things."

Doing what you Do

Sometimes people do things, good things, and don't get credit for it. That's okay. That's not why they do it. They don't do it to get praise, but for the benefit of others. I know this, but sometimes it is harder when not only do you not get credit, but others think you're the problem, or share with you 'their' something, when actually it was yours...

Oh, you think I'm talking about myself? Well, yeah. kinda.

There have been several situations lately where I, or someone I know, have done something or maybe said something, and then somebody else takes credit for it. Most of those times I want to shout out, "Hey! I'm the one that said that!" or "That wasn't your idea, it was so and so's" But I think of the scripture where the pharisees do their prayers to be seen, don't want to be that person, and realize I didn't say that or whoever didn't do that to get praise. It doesn't matter whose idea it was, it was put into force, or you shared something to help others, and that is what matters. So I sit quietly, then go to my husband to complain. :) That's a little better than being a pharisee right? ;)

But he said something to me the other day after another one of these occurrences. There was something we suggested and somebody else came to me, as if it was their idea, and suggested I do it. I of course wanted to say, "Um, actually that was me who did that. We did it 6 months ago, so I don't know what you're talking about." Jack seeing I was getting frustrated with this happening, instead of reminding me it doesn't matter (which I know), he said something else that I hadn't really thought of.

Maybe you need to learn it doesn't matter who thinks what of you. People are going to have their opinions on what you're doing wrong or what you should be doing better. And you can't let that bother you.

Isn't that so true? I think I do care entirely too much what other people think of me. And that is why I get so frustrated when I don't get credit. Because I want people to like me, and so maybe if they know that was mine, or what I am doing right, they'll like me more. Uh, nope. Not true. I need to care about myself. And do the things I do so I can become a stronger, better person. Basically I'm saying the same thing I said I already knew, but for me now it was a different way of looking at it. And it makes me feel better.

And I do have to admit that when people say, "I don't care what other people think of me" I don't believe it, and it makes me mad. Because I think you should care what other people think of you, to an extent. You don't want to have a bad reputation. But I think as long as you're doing what is right, you are going to have some enemies, and that is okay. I'm reading a book about Brigham Young right now, and people misunderstood a lot of the things he did, but he did what he was commanded to do, and that is a good thing, and that is what matters. Nobody is perfect and if some judge unrighteously, or have a misconception about you, you can't change that.

Added Note: I was reading my scriptures yesterday and it reminded me a little of this post. 1 Nephi 19:9 - "And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because or his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men."

Here we are reading about Jesus and it really makes you realize how miniscule the things are that you let bother you (ie, the things I let bother me). Jesus Christ lived a perfect example and was misconceived by so many people. He was convicted to satisfy a mob and sentenced to die on Calvary's cross. There is no comparison. But he suffered it, meaning he took it without complaining or saying anything in return, even though they were wrong. And why? Because of his kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men. I hope I can be more like Christ-do the things I do to become like him and at the same time be kind, loving, and friendly to everyone.

Desire

During the last general conference in April there was one talk I knew I wanted to go back and read once it was printed. It was Elder Oaks' entitled Desire.

He started by saying "I hope each of us will search our hearts to determine what we really desire and how we rank our most important desires." It was something that caught my attention upon hearing it, because I think most of us go into general conference desiring to get something out of it. I was curious if the talk was going to answer any of my desires.

His next statement I had to re-read a few times until I could instill it in my memory. "Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions. The desires we act on determine our changing, our achieving and our becoming." Isn't that perfect?

So his talk mentioned that we have needs/desires, example food and water, shelter, or sleep, but we can gain a greater desire to overcome those. Example, when we fast every month. Read the talk because I think that's all I'm going to say about that.

But I love the idea and though it is so simple and makes sense, it is good to think about. What are my desires, and do I have greater desires. What am I making my priorities? Because those are my greatest desires and do I need to change any of those? They do lead to my choices and then my actions. If you think about it you will see this is true.

Sit down and think about your day-what do you do, what fills your entire day?Because you can trace back your actions to your desires. Do you want to fill your day with more quiet time? Learn something new? If so, think about why you want that and what you might be giving up to get that. Should you be making it a greater desire?

Still easier said than done. Some things will take some thought on how to make it a greater desire. For instance, losing weight a desire. Eating that piece of chocolate is often greater. Have to work on that, but I know it can be done if my desire is great enough. But some things I have really enjoyed in thinking about what I want to be doing, desiring it, then watch how it becomes a priority and wah-la, I get it done. My most successful thing in this is teaching my children. I had to change my daily routine a little but am able to set aside one hour every day to teach Noah and spend quality time with him doing crafts, reading to him, and just building a relationship. I love it.

I look forward to becoming the person I want to be as I contemplate what is most important to me and shape those desires. I was grateful for this talk motivating me that I can change, achieve, and become anything I desire, if I desire it enough.