This may be considered a rant...there's your warning. :)
In Relief Society we were talking about "Becoming Goodly Parents" from Elder Perry's last conference talk and one section included having dinner as a family. I love eating together as a family, and I'm grateful my parents always made the effort to eat together as a family. I think there are great things that can be shared as you spend that time together every day.
Elder Perry said "Eat together as often as possible, making dinner a time of communication and the teaching of values." The teacher shared her testimony that dinnertime can be a peaceful, uplifting, enjoyable time.
One sister laughed. "Peaceful?! Dinnertime is anything but peaceful!" Then she went on to say that at dinnertime people talked, sometimes laughed, sometimes yelled, food fights, crude jokes, standing on chairs, etc. It was chaotic, but that (her parents as a child, and now her as a parent) never lectured the kids. It was a place you could do whatever you wanted, say whatever you wanted, and knew you would be loved.
Everyone agreed. Dinner should be a "safe place."
I get her idea. And I'm not to saying that is not what you should do, but that is not what it needs to be. Call me old fashioned, but I think dinnertime is a time of communication, but also teaching of values. I believe children should learn, for one, etiquette. The dinner table is not a time to be crude, or loud. If you're not happy, if you're throwing a fit, you can leave the table and go to your room. Yes we eat with silverware. Teach manners. Some people don't understand, or even know how to be proper at the dinner table. I have heard people share stories on how they were so embarrassed by certain missionaries. I don't want my boys to be those missionaries. :) So yes, I think great things can be taught and it is possible to have a peaceful, uplifting, and enjoyable time at the dinner table.
(Note, I have talked with this sister a few times when I've mentioned my kids being crazy at the table and her solution is always, 'They're kids. Is it really that big of a deal?' True, on some things, but that is her outlook on just about everything. And for me, yes, it is a big deal. I think kids need rules. I think kids need to learn how obey rules. I don't think it is necessary to let them do whatever they want so that home is a place they want to be. Anyway, rant complete. :)
Monday, January 28, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Missionary Work
That is the name of the Visiting Teaching Message this month and I felt a peaceful confirmation as I read through it.
For some reason, this week I have debating with myself on several occasions. I keep seeing things on facebook where people question truth, whether they are genuinely searching for answers, or are just misguided, and I wonder, "Is it my responsibility to step in and share my testimony?" Or is that considered "hi-jacking" somebody's facebook post or being judgmental, etc.
Each time I have decided- I am sharing truth. That is not being judgmental. There is right and wrong, not decided by me, by our Heavenly Father, and we are told to stand for what is right.
EXAMPLE 1-
Sunday I had a friend post about a movie. For some reason I get more upset when members post about worldly things on a Sunday, that probably is being a bit judgmental, but I think Sundays should be different than other days and more time spent thinking about spiritual things, not some Rated R movie that is awesome. Anyway, One person's comment stated "We have a Clearplay dvd player, which edits out offensive content such as swearing, nudity, and violence. We rented ___ on Friday, and it ended up being a very short, confusing, and largely silent film." My friend's response was "If you can handle offensive stuff, which is probably a bad thing, then I strongly recommend the full version."
It made me sad. Is that really how he thinks? He can handle it. And it's probably a bad thing, not that it is, and then put this violent, filthy movie on a strongly recommend list... My thoughts, "No. Your spirit doesn't handle offensive stuff, ever. Therefore, should not be recommended." I knew this was right, but wanted to turn to the Brethren to make sure they would say the same thing. I looked up the Strength of Youth pamphlet, which we have been counseled numerous times applies to us as well which states
"Choose wisely when using media using whatever you read, listen to, or look at has an effect on you. Select only media that uplifts you. Satan uses media to deceive you by making what is wrong and evil look normal, humorous, or exciting. He tries to mislead you into thinking that breaking God's commandments is acceptable and has no negative consequences for your or others. Do not attend, view, or participate in anything that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way."
So I responded "Your spirit never handles offensive stuff. Strength of Youth strongly recommends not seeing the full version" and told my friend, we were still friends. :) You don't need to be rude, you don't need lecture them, but you can stand for what is right or share your testimony. I want to help others to not be deceived and that means speaking up.
EXAMPLE 2-
A friend posted "I haven't been to church in 5 weeks. One week we were out of town, the other 4 I have been called into work. Today I finally went and just during the passing of the sacrament (15 minutes), I get two phone calls from work. No job is important enough to infringe on someone's spirituality. Time to find a new job..." That is nice! Good for him! But people's comments are saddening.
Instead of people commending him for standing for what is right, or offering sympathy, they are rude. He should be grateful he has a job. Just because he isn't as church doesn't mean he can't still be spiritual. Not to worry because he won't be considered inactive unless he doesn't go to a single meeting in a calendar month. Everyone just not seeing what he was saying. I didn't want to be rude to these people, but did not want my friend to feel bad about saying something so decided to respond- offering sympathy for his situation and applauding him for recognizing it. It isn't about being considered inactive, or not being spiritual elsewhere, nothing renews like taking the sacrament and seeing blessings that increase faith from making sacrifices and that I'd be praying the blessings come quickly ;0)
EXAMPLE 3-
A friend posted about her son's baptism and that he had received the Holy Ghost. Someone questioned "what does that mean he was given the gift of the Holy Spirit?" They were simply showing interest, and my friend tried to respond, but the girl still had questions, being clear she wasn't trying to 'poke fun' but just was trying to understand. Is it a ceremony? Does it automatically happen? Some people think you don't have it until you speak in tongues in public. Is it the same as people that say they were 'saved'"
My friend tried to reply to this girl's questions, but I felt like she was missing some points. I didn't want to step on my friend's toes by responding, but did want to try and help clarify anything, so decided to reply-
It is an ordinance and basically a prayer said by a Melchizedek priesthood holder. Anyone holding this priesthood can participate, and it is usually given by the father. Some people choose to do it immediately after the baptism, sometimes it is done the next day at church. They lay hands on the person's head, acting in the name of Christ and this is when they are officially made a member of the Church. They they say "Receive the Holy Ghost" which is inviting the person to receive that gift. The prayer is continued and the person may be blessed with anything the person feels to say (choose the right, be a kind example, etc) One of the Church's 12 apostles gave a talk about it if they were interested (and gave the link to Elder Bednar's Receive the Holy Ghost talk.
-----------
I've just been impressed of the many ways to share the gospel in the last 2 days. And it is probably always that way, I just need to look for those opportunities, or not be shy when I see those opportunities. I like that the visiting teaching message says "Others whose lives will be blessed by the gospel surround us, and as we prepare ourselves, the Lord will use us" and it is "our purpose" to help save souls.
I want to be able to have the Lord use me and have the courage and faith to speak if I feel inclined. Jesus Christ will come again, and I want to help as many people be ready when that day comes.
For some reason, this week I have debating with myself on several occasions. I keep seeing things on facebook where people question truth, whether they are genuinely searching for answers, or are just misguided, and I wonder, "Is it my responsibility to step in and share my testimony?" Or is that considered "hi-jacking" somebody's facebook post or being judgmental, etc.
Each time I have decided- I am sharing truth. That is not being judgmental. There is right and wrong, not decided by me, by our Heavenly Father, and we are told to stand for what is right.
EXAMPLE 1-
Sunday I had a friend post about a movie. For some reason I get more upset when members post about worldly things on a Sunday, that probably is being a bit judgmental, but I think Sundays should be different than other days and more time spent thinking about spiritual things, not some Rated R movie that is awesome. Anyway, One person's comment stated "We have a Clearplay dvd player, which edits out offensive content such as swearing, nudity, and violence. We rented ___ on Friday, and it ended up being a very short, confusing, and largely silent film." My friend's response was "If you can handle offensive stuff, which is probably a bad thing, then I strongly recommend the full version."
It made me sad. Is that really how he thinks? He can handle it. And it's probably a bad thing, not that it is, and then put this violent, filthy movie on a strongly recommend list... My thoughts, "No. Your spirit doesn't handle offensive stuff, ever. Therefore, should not be recommended." I knew this was right, but wanted to turn to the Brethren to make sure they would say the same thing. I looked up the Strength of Youth pamphlet, which we have been counseled numerous times applies to us as well which states
"Choose wisely when using media using whatever you read, listen to, or look at has an effect on you. Select only media that uplifts you. Satan uses media to deceive you by making what is wrong and evil look normal, humorous, or exciting. He tries to mislead you into thinking that breaking God's commandments is acceptable and has no negative consequences for your or others. Do not attend, view, or participate in anything that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way."
So I responded "Your spirit never handles offensive stuff. Strength of Youth strongly recommends not seeing the full version" and told my friend, we were still friends. :) You don't need to be rude, you don't need lecture them, but you can stand for what is right or share your testimony. I want to help others to not be deceived and that means speaking up.
EXAMPLE 2-
A friend posted "I haven't been to church in 5 weeks. One week we were out of town, the other 4 I have been called into work. Today I finally went and just during the passing of the sacrament (15 minutes), I get two phone calls from work. No job is important enough to infringe on someone's spirituality. Time to find a new job..." That is nice! Good for him! But people's comments are saddening.
Instead of people commending him for standing for what is right, or offering sympathy, they are rude. He should be grateful he has a job. Just because he isn't as church doesn't mean he can't still be spiritual. Not to worry because he won't be considered inactive unless he doesn't go to a single meeting in a calendar month. Everyone just not seeing what he was saying. I didn't want to be rude to these people, but did not want my friend to feel bad about saying something so decided to respond- offering sympathy for his situation and applauding him for recognizing it. It isn't about being considered inactive, or not being spiritual elsewhere, nothing renews like taking the sacrament and seeing blessings that increase faith from making sacrifices and that I'd be praying the blessings come quickly ;0)
EXAMPLE 3-
A friend posted about her son's baptism and that he had received the Holy Ghost. Someone questioned "what does that mean he was given the gift of the Holy Spirit?" They were simply showing interest, and my friend tried to respond, but the girl still had questions, being clear she wasn't trying to 'poke fun' but just was trying to understand. Is it a ceremony? Does it automatically happen? Some people think you don't have it until you speak in tongues in public. Is it the same as people that say they were 'saved'"
My friend tried to reply to this girl's questions, but I felt like she was missing some points. I didn't want to step on my friend's toes by responding, but did want to try and help clarify anything, so decided to reply-
It is an ordinance and basically a prayer said by a Melchizedek priesthood holder. Anyone holding this priesthood can participate, and it is usually given by the father. Some people choose to do it immediately after the baptism, sometimes it is done the next day at church. They lay hands on the person's head, acting in the name of Christ and this is when they are officially made a member of the Church. They they say "Receive the Holy Ghost" which is inviting the person to receive that gift. The prayer is continued and the person may be blessed with anything the person feels to say (choose the right, be a kind example, etc) One of the Church's 12 apostles gave a talk about it if they were interested (and gave the link to Elder Bednar's Receive the Holy Ghost talk.
-----------
I've just been impressed of the many ways to share the gospel in the last 2 days. And it is probably always that way, I just need to look for those opportunities, or not be shy when I see those opportunities. I like that the visiting teaching message says "Others whose lives will be blessed by the gospel surround us, and as we prepare ourselves, the Lord will use us" and it is "our purpose" to help save souls.
I want to be able to have the Lord use me and have the courage and faith to speak if I feel inclined. Jesus Christ will come again, and I want to help as many people be ready when that day comes.
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