I've seen a few articles and ads pop up recently making fun of modesty. It too, is starting to become a negative thing that you can not teach or you're deemed evil. One article in particular that caused me a lot of grief described modesty in doing the following things- Feeling like what you look like is what matters most of all; you are always on display; contributes to eating disorders; women are decorations; not human, and more. The author felt like they couldn't grow normal and had to look like an adolescent boy so not to draw attention from men. She closed with the statement "Modesty is a philosophy that dehumanizes. It incites constant fear and vigilance in one sex while excusing the other of all responsibility. It's immoral."
How has modesty become something defined as 'immoral?' Modesty does not do those things. If it is taught poorly or you are surrounded by people that make your dress seems most important I can see where problems may arise. However, modesty taught correctly will bring self-respect. The church offers a clear definition of modesty that can be found here. It teaches "Modesty is an attitude of propriety and decency in dress, grooming, language, and behavior. We seek to 'glorify God in [our] body, and in [our] spirit" (1 Corinthians 6:20). I like that it teaches it is more than dress but includes grooming, language and behavior. It encourages looking neat and clean, embracing you are a female and God's child. It shows gratitude and understanding of our precious bodies. It invites the Holy Ghost to be with us. When we understand modesty and have the Holy Ghost with us we will not fall into Satan's trap of using modesty to destroy one's body and image.
A few comments agreed the author's definition of modesty was not accurate, but that it is how it is taught. I can not say what people hear from local church leaders (and obviously the world will teach modesty wrong), but we can always turn to the Brethren. A few argued this and felt modesty was taught more than it should instead of things of more importance like self-worth. I found in a quick search on lds.org that in most, if not all, talks referring to modesty address that we are children of God and loved by Him. In a General Conference search 38 talks show under 'modesty' but 2,212 come up under "child of God." We need to remember we are children of a Heavenly Father who loves us and our bodies are gifts from Him that we need to respect and take care of. I think that is a primary focus taught by the Church.
Another argument was men are off the hook-modesty teaches girls are the problem and it does not leave men with any responsibility. In my experience there are far more talks on pornography than modesty. The pornography talks are addressed primarily to the men (just as modesty talks are usually addressed to women though both doctrines apply to both sexes) and teaches the evil of it. Men are pleaded to stay away from it. If a woman is dressed immodestly, even in her own backyard as one suggested, she is not the one to blame. Most are familiar with the story of David and Bathsheba and it is David's sin. He is punished. That is not to say that yes, women can play a role and we should dress modestly so not to distract or be an enticement. I think many, myself included, are/were unaware of the effect we can have on men, especially in the adolescent ages. A talk that has received a lot of critique was by Elder Oaks entitled Pornography. Note the title. Elder Oaks teaches the 'wickedness in their hearts' referring to a scripture and men participating in pornography. There is one sentence addressed to young women-"Please understand that if you dress immodestly, you are magnifying this problem by becoming pornography to some of the men who see you." This is not a talk directed to women teaching modesty. It merely brings attention to something you may never have considered. We should want to help protect those we love and encourage men to stay away from this damaging evil.
I would hope that we can understand the true principle of modesty and seek to glorify our God by striving to be modest in our dress, actions, and words.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Knowledge
So my heart has been sad as I have seen some good friends of ours start posting things, supporting ideas, and articles from anti-mormons. They still are 'strong' in the faith of Jesus Christ, but it is a dangerous road to go down and it makes me worry about them.
I remember a talk given in General Conference not long ago that warned the rich and the wise. These 2 groups of people will have the hardest time keeping their testimonies strong, and this is what I thought of when my friends started posting these things. They are intellectuals. They are smart people and study a lot with degrees in theology, intellectual history, and political thought. Not that these are bad things, and we are supposed to seek knowledge in all areas, but this warning given in General Conference, stemming from the scripture found in 2 Nephi 9:42 "And whoso knocketh, to him will he open; and the wise, and the learned, and they that are rich, who are puffed up because of their learning, and their wisdom, and their riches-yea, they are they whom he despiseth; and save they shall cast these things away, and consider themselves fools before God, and come down in the depths of humility, he will not open unto them" seems apparent today.
I came across this talk given by Quentin L. Cook and thought it had some great things to say about how we gain knowledge. It is entitled, "Strengthen Faith As You Seek Knowledge. In the article he lists 5 principles he finds essential as you place faith in Jesus Christ at the center of your lives as you diligently seek knowledge.
1. Understand there is truly opposition in all things. The choices you make are critical.
2. Strengthen your own testimony as a foundation for all of the choices you make.
3. Seek knowledge diligently, wisely, and humbly.
4. Follow the prophet's counsel as you make your choices.
5. Live so the Atonement can be fully efficacious in your life.
My favorite of these principles is number 4. We need to support the prophet always. If we are finding ideas that are contrary to truths taught by the prophet, or I believe any called to the Quorum of the Twelve, we need to re-consider this 'new-found knowledge.'
In a Worldwide Leadership Meeting, President Hinckley said,
"No one need tell you that we are living in a very difficult season in the history of the world. Standards are dropping everywhere. Nothing seems to be sacred anymore. ... I do not know that things were worse in the times of Sodom and Gomorrah. ... I think our Father must weep as He looks down upon His wayward sons and daughters. We must not give up. We must not become discouraged. We must never surrender to the forces of evil. ... If it means standing alone, we must do it. But we shall not be alone."
I know that the world is moving in a way to make right seem wrong. If you teach there is a right and a wrong, you are considered judgmental. They insist we need to accept everybody and let them choose for themselves. People are free to choose. But our choices are either to "choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil" (2 Nephi 2:27).
We need to make sure that we are always standing for the right. There will always be opposition, but as we strengthen our testimony in Jesus Christ and use that as a foundation, seek to remain humble, follow the prophet, and utilize the Atonement daily in our lives we will remain strong through Satan's tactics to get us off the path.
I remember a talk given in General Conference not long ago that warned the rich and the wise. These 2 groups of people will have the hardest time keeping their testimonies strong, and this is what I thought of when my friends started posting these things. They are intellectuals. They are smart people and study a lot with degrees in theology, intellectual history, and political thought. Not that these are bad things, and we are supposed to seek knowledge in all areas, but this warning given in General Conference, stemming from the scripture found in 2 Nephi 9:42 "And whoso knocketh, to him will he open; and the wise, and the learned, and they that are rich, who are puffed up because of their learning, and their wisdom, and their riches-yea, they are they whom he despiseth; and save they shall cast these things away, and consider themselves fools before God, and come down in the depths of humility, he will not open unto them" seems apparent today.
I came across this talk given by Quentin L. Cook and thought it had some great things to say about how we gain knowledge. It is entitled, "Strengthen Faith As You Seek Knowledge. In the article he lists 5 principles he finds essential as you place faith in Jesus Christ at the center of your lives as you diligently seek knowledge.
1. Understand there is truly opposition in all things. The choices you make are critical.
2. Strengthen your own testimony as a foundation for all of the choices you make.
3. Seek knowledge diligently, wisely, and humbly.
4. Follow the prophet's counsel as you make your choices.
5. Live so the Atonement can be fully efficacious in your life.
My favorite of these principles is number 4. We need to support the prophet always. If we are finding ideas that are contrary to truths taught by the prophet, or I believe any called to the Quorum of the Twelve, we need to re-consider this 'new-found knowledge.'
In a Worldwide Leadership Meeting, President Hinckley said,
"No one need tell you that we are living in a very difficult season in the history of the world. Standards are dropping everywhere. Nothing seems to be sacred anymore. ... I do not know that things were worse in the times of Sodom and Gomorrah. ... I think our Father must weep as He looks down upon His wayward sons and daughters. We must not give up. We must not become discouraged. We must never surrender to the forces of evil. ... If it means standing alone, we must do it. But we shall not be alone."
I know that the world is moving in a way to make right seem wrong. If you teach there is a right and a wrong, you are considered judgmental. They insist we need to accept everybody and let them choose for themselves. People are free to choose. But our choices are either to "choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil" (2 Nephi 2:27).
We need to make sure that we are always standing for the right. There will always be opposition, but as we strengthen our testimony in Jesus Christ and use that as a foundation, seek to remain humble, follow the prophet, and utilize the Atonement daily in our lives we will remain strong through Satan's tactics to get us off the path.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Service
I moved away from home to attend college, a really long time ago. Once I got married, we were still several hours away from my parents. My/our first year or two of college I had a sibling close by. There is a lot of strength that comes from having family close. When you need a babysitter, when you need someone to spend time with, when you need help. They are your insta-friend.
I haven't had that benefit for awhile now and things can be hard sometimes. Particularly when you are really sick, have kids, pregnant and hungry, not capable of making food, and no car to get some to provide for your family. There is no 'mom, can you bring me dinner', or 'sister, please come and take my kids for a little bit', or 'can you please run to the store for me and pick up some bread and milk.' Many of you would probably think, "That's why it's so great to be a member of the church. You have visiting teachers and people all around you willing to help." I have struggled with that. I've had 2 kids, and only one meal brought to me by someone that wasn't family. I've never just dropped my kids off at someone's house before. I don't like to inconvenience people and if my visiting teacher never offers if there is anything they can do, I don't feel like I can ask.
Well, don't worry, I'm not about to bad-mouth everyone around me and throw myself a pity party. I just learned something a week ago. I was pretty much over my really sick stage, but still just tired and lots of things brought on the gag reflex. The girls I do preschool with were over at my house for preschool when one of the moms turned on our sink without my knowledge. (Our sink leaks, there was a bowl underneath that was about to overflow, so I couldn't turn on the water, and I couldn't empty it, because it makes me gag). I apologized for the dirty dishes in the sink and said I couldn't wash them because I couldn't turn on our sink. During the conversation I also mentioned I was expecting. I wasn't asking for anything, just giving my excuse for the mess. As soon as they heard that though, they immediately went to work-took everything out from underneath, cleaned up everything that had overflowed everywhere from her turning on the sink, emptied the bowl, and took the dishes home that were in the sink, that I couldn't wash, to clean and bring back to me. Wow. I didn't ask them for any of that and they just did it.
So let's be honest, I still probably don't feel comfortable asking you to watch my kids, when you already have your own and babysit another mom's who works. I probably won't ask you to bring me dinner, because I know you're struggling financially. But I will ask to borrow a diaper when my son runs out in the middle of the day. :)
It just taught me about others' willingness to serve and put others before themselves. King Benjamin taught a great discourse on service and I've been familiar with "when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God" that is quoted all the time. I do enjoy participating in service and had a strong testimony of that end of it. This experience taught me the other end of that service. King Benjamin also says "And behold also, if I whom ye call your king, who has spent his days in your service, and yet has been in the service of God, do merit any thanks from you, O how you ought to thank your heavenly king." (Mosiah 2:16,19) I was sure to thank the girls that helped me, but its important to remember to thank our Heavenly Father as well when we receive those things.
I haven't had that benefit for awhile now and things can be hard sometimes. Particularly when you are really sick, have kids, pregnant and hungry, not capable of making food, and no car to get some to provide for your family. There is no 'mom, can you bring me dinner', or 'sister, please come and take my kids for a little bit', or 'can you please run to the store for me and pick up some bread and milk.' Many of you would probably think, "That's why it's so great to be a member of the church. You have visiting teachers and people all around you willing to help." I have struggled with that. I've had 2 kids, and only one meal brought to me by someone that wasn't family. I've never just dropped my kids off at someone's house before. I don't like to inconvenience people and if my visiting teacher never offers if there is anything they can do, I don't feel like I can ask.
Well, don't worry, I'm not about to bad-mouth everyone around me and throw myself a pity party. I just learned something a week ago. I was pretty much over my really sick stage, but still just tired and lots of things brought on the gag reflex. The girls I do preschool with were over at my house for preschool when one of the moms turned on our sink without my knowledge. (Our sink leaks, there was a bowl underneath that was about to overflow, so I couldn't turn on the water, and I couldn't empty it, because it makes me gag). I apologized for the dirty dishes in the sink and said I couldn't wash them because I couldn't turn on our sink. During the conversation I also mentioned I was expecting. I wasn't asking for anything, just giving my excuse for the mess. As soon as they heard that though, they immediately went to work-took everything out from underneath, cleaned up everything that had overflowed everywhere from her turning on the sink, emptied the bowl, and took the dishes home that were in the sink, that I couldn't wash, to clean and bring back to me. Wow. I didn't ask them for any of that and they just did it.
So let's be honest, I still probably don't feel comfortable asking you to watch my kids, when you already have your own and babysit another mom's who works. I probably won't ask you to bring me dinner, because I know you're struggling financially. But I will ask to borrow a diaper when my son runs out in the middle of the day. :)
It just taught me about others' willingness to serve and put others before themselves. King Benjamin taught a great discourse on service and I've been familiar with "when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God" that is quoted all the time. I do enjoy participating in service and had a strong testimony of that end of it. This experience taught me the other end of that service. King Benjamin also says "And behold also, if I whom ye call your king, who has spent his days in your service, and yet has been in the service of God, do merit any thanks from you, O how you ought to thank your heavenly king." (Mosiah 2:16,19) I was sure to thank the girls that helped me, but its important to remember to thank our Heavenly Father as well when we receive those things.
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