I was in Las Vegas with all of my family recently. I hear some people talk about when their family gets together and they go on and on and on and on :) about how great it is! I love my family. I'm super thankful for them. But being in a confined space with them for more than a couple hours is a lot for me. I like to have my space. And quiet. I tell ya, the best family trip we did (with my siblings and their families) my mom got us all hotel rooms. We had our own quiet room and space. But we still got together and did stuff together, it was great! But anyways, this last trip I felt my weakness.
I just felt a little tension between me and my older sister constantly. We would have conversations and we didn't argue about anything, but they just came across as, not super pleasant. They didn't feel good. Now sure we're siblings and the great things about siblings is you don't have to worry about offending them, ha, is that wrong. You know what I mean. You can openly complain about things that are bothering you without worrying they're going to think you're a completely negative person. You can be honest. Be yourself.
So on the third day we were talking and she was complaining about the rental car she had. It was a big suburban and she had requested a mini van. She has 4 kids, the oldest I think is like 6, is that bad I don't know how old my nephew is, ha. Anyway. She was saying, "It's TOO big! I hate it! Even if I had all the money in the world I wouldn't want one of these!" Now, I love mini vans. But I can see with soon-to-be 5 kids, 4 of them boys, when they are all teenagers it will be pretty tight and uncomfortable for them. Luggage space isn't very big for longer trips. So I can see benefits and one day might consider a bigger suv than a mini van. So with these thoughts in my head, my response to her was, "You don't think you'd want one when your boys are all teenagers?!" To me, her response, I would never want one seemed absurd she would never consider it, especially because she has 3 boys, 4 kids, that's 6 people. I don't know. But apparently she did not like my response so she said, "Ugh. I feel like you are always yelling at me when you talk!"
... I didn't have a response. I wasn't angry at her at all. I wasn't trying to yell at her. I thought, 'Don't you see the benefits of having a bigger car?!' Now, we didn't argue. We just moved on, but it kind of bothered me because I realized, she has been thinking that all week about me. I'm always yelling at her. I'm always angry. And I wasn't. To be told you're doing something, you're not intentionally trying to do is kind of upsetting. Now true, I am pregnant, completely miserable, so my tones may be more negative than I realize I'm doing, but you get my point.
So on our drive home I was talking to Jack about it. Why does she think I'm always mad? And then he [politely] agreed with her. 'Well, you do kind of seem like you're mad all the time.' And he tried to give me some communication tips. It's just crazy the things you say can have such different impressions. I really don't pay attention to what I say or how people are responding to it. If I don't think I'm trying to be mean I don't worry about it. I guess that's not always the best. :) So he said for the rental car situation, 'don't start conversations with a negative, because then it automatically sounds like you are accusing them of something, or trying to convince them of your opinion.' He told me when I talk to people I should ask questions about what they think. Ask questions about them. So for instance instead of my, "You don't think you'd want one when your boys are teenagers?!' he suggested I should have said something like, "Do you think you'd want one when your boys are teenagers?" Then I'm not accusing her of being completely crazy. I'm not trying to convince her that she should want one. Just give her something to think about, let her think about she wants. So simple. Such a different feel.
I don't know if that makes sense. He said something to me right after, and I gave him a dirty look. Like, "What?! Why you saying that?" And then he asked the same question, just wording it differently and I agreed with what he was saying. I of course didn't realize he had just done that until he pointed it out and said, "See what happened there?" He has all sorts of crazy tips like that. So, apparently he is really good at paying attention to what he is saying, how he is saying it, and how people will respond to things. I am not. But it definitely gave me some things to consider and think about and pay more attention to when I talk to people. The way we communicate is important, even if you think, 'I don't care what they think of me," isn't it best to just portray yourself the way you intend?
Monday, November 16, 2015
Monday, November 9, 2015
Teaching Children
I was asked to share a couple thoughts in Relief Society on teaching our children. I only had a couple minutes, and there is so much I felt like I could say, even though, let's face it, you could never guess by looking at my kids that it's important to us. :) Anyway, I wanted to document my thoughts I shared here.
When I think of teaching my kids, there are two main ways we try to do that-structured teaching, and everyday teaching. For each I tried to narrow it into three good ways to do that.
STRUCTURED TEACHING
1. Family Home Evening. #1 easiest (and best) way to teach your kids. You can decide on topics that are important to you or that they need help with. You can study and prepare ahead of time, go into depth and really help them understand the principle, its importance and how to apply with related games/activities, etc. It's the only time of the week we have a clear-set sit down and listen teaching time.
2. Family Scripture. We don't read a lot each night. I'm talking 5-15 verses probably. But we ask a lot of questions (do you know what this word means? what did I just say-in their own words. how do you think you would feel? etc) and they ask a lot of questions in return. It's amazing some of the connections they make and things they think of. So sometimes we go off topic, but have good discussions. By using scripture time as a way to teach not only are you teaching them the stories and princples in the book, but a love for the scriptures and habit to read every day, along with how to think. So many people read the scriptures but don't know how to study. Use this time to teach them how to apply principles and ask questions about what they're reading.
3. Family Dinner. It's a good conversational bonding time. But especially on Sundays its a great time to teach. We always ask our kids what they learned in class because let's be honest, kids sometimes mix things up in their heads or come away with something completely wrong. Jack teaches for a living and gets some angry calls from parents on him teaching false doctrine (that he clearly doesn't do). But Noah came home last week from school and told me they learned to 'pop drugs. not popcorn.' I asked him 3 times before he realized he was saying it wrong. So make sure they understand the things they are taught. See if they have questions and help them learn it a little deeper.
EVERYDAY TEACHING
1. Family Rules. We don't have a lot of rules in our house, but we use the principles in the Family Proclamation as our rules. They are up on our wall and every night before we got to bed we say a little cheer. We put our hands in together and shout "Faith. Prayer. And Repentance. Love. Respect. And Forgiveness. Then comes Work. And Compassion. Finally Wholesome Recreation!... Manis Family Rules!" ('cause we rule, and they're our rules, get it? :) Our kids are young and think it's great, but we constantly remind them and apply those 'rules.' When they are fighting, 'hey, are you showing love?' When they are holding a grudge from their brother that stole something but apologized, 'hey, which one of our family rules do you need to work on?' Whining about work...'Manis Family...(works!)' etc. I mean, they are always there. And we don't have some big lecture or lesson, it's a simple reminder (though sometimes we do spend more time on it). It's a great way we use to always teach and have them apply.
2. Example. Pretty basic. We are always taught to teach by example and kids are especially observant. When I get out the vacuum, Elsie goes and grabs her little walker to push around the house with me. They mimic everything they see and hear. So just be really cautious about what you are saying, how you are saying it (tone, positive, etc), what you are watching and listening to. For a little while I started a season of Amazing Race. I like to see places around the world and it was just an easy, 'have on tv while i'm folding laundry show.' But, it's a reality show, and stressful for the contestants. Therefore, they were using the Lord's name in vain frequently. I didn't really notice how often it was until my little on (whom I've taught we don't say that) says, 'Mom. Why do you watch this if they always say that?' Oh. If I'm teaching it's wrong, and voluntarily letting it in my house I guess that's counterproductive. Acts. Language. Media.
3. Conversation with kids. This doesn't have to be anything big. But look for ways teach in your conversation. One thing I do is every night I ask my kids what their favorite part of the day is. They don't think I'm teaching them anything when I do this. But my secret goal by having these bedtime conversations with them is to learn how to be optomistic, look for the good things in their day and have gratitude. I've tried asking them when they get home from school when they talk about their day to ask if they helped anyone. How great is it if they know I'm going to ask them every day so they start looking for ways to serve - held the door open, picked up a pencil someone dropped, shared a snack, etc. And Dad does interviews with the kids about once a month. It is a great time for him to talk to them one-on-one and see how they're doing. He's not 'teaching' them, but if they have questions or are struggling with something it's a safe and comfortable time for them to bring things up.
So that's what I shared on teaching kids, but I decided to close with a final thought, to learn for yourself! It's great to teach kids. But if you're not constantly teaching yourself, you're not going to be in the best position to teach them.
LAST, LEARN FOR YOURSELF
For me, it is hard to be motivated to 'learn.' I don't go to school. I haven't had a 'teaching calling' since I've been married. So I never prepare primary, yw or rs lessons. I just found myself never really studying anything and it got depressing. So... I decided to get more active in this! Have a blog or journal where you write insights you have. Or pick a topic you want to study and write up a little 'devotional' thing for it. It has helped me read a lot more Ensign articles, scriptures, and look for lessons I learn from life.
Second, if you're married, take advantage of your spouse. Jack studies scriptures for his prep, then teaches them all day long, then does his personal study, and then does family study. So when I was kind of adamant we have couple scripture study too, he was a little burned out from it. So, we try to do a 'couple study' every night and take turns who's in charge. And we vary it a lot. But it still allows us to think and talk and get insights from eachother. Some ideas and things we do are watch a conference talk, prepare a little devotional from a scripture you read, share a thought from the ensign article, mormon messages, and there are lots of story, quote or daily thought/scripture books. I love Packer's book that gives little stories. Maxwell has a good one too. Just learn from eachother.
So anyway, I think learning and teaching is important and it's a skill I continue to try to improve on with myself and implementing with our kids.
When I think of teaching my kids, there are two main ways we try to do that-structured teaching, and everyday teaching. For each I tried to narrow it into three good ways to do that.
STRUCTURED TEACHING
1. Family Home Evening. #1 easiest (and best) way to teach your kids. You can decide on topics that are important to you or that they need help with. You can study and prepare ahead of time, go into depth and really help them understand the principle, its importance and how to apply with related games/activities, etc. It's the only time of the week we have a clear-set sit down and listen teaching time.
2. Family Scripture. We don't read a lot each night. I'm talking 5-15 verses probably. But we ask a lot of questions (do you know what this word means? what did I just say-in their own words. how do you think you would feel? etc) and they ask a lot of questions in return. It's amazing some of the connections they make and things they think of. So sometimes we go off topic, but have good discussions. By using scripture time as a way to teach not only are you teaching them the stories and princples in the book, but a love for the scriptures and habit to read every day, along with how to think. So many people read the scriptures but don't know how to study. Use this time to teach them how to apply principles and ask questions about what they're reading.
3. Family Dinner. It's a good conversational bonding time. But especially on Sundays its a great time to teach. We always ask our kids what they learned in class because let's be honest, kids sometimes mix things up in their heads or come away with something completely wrong. Jack teaches for a living and gets some angry calls from parents on him teaching false doctrine (that he clearly doesn't do). But Noah came home last week from school and told me they learned to 'pop drugs. not popcorn.' I asked him 3 times before he realized he was saying it wrong. So make sure they understand the things they are taught. See if they have questions and help them learn it a little deeper.
EVERYDAY TEACHING
1. Family Rules. We don't have a lot of rules in our house, but we use the principles in the Family Proclamation as our rules. They are up on our wall and every night before we got to bed we say a little cheer. We put our hands in together and shout "Faith. Prayer. And Repentance. Love. Respect. And Forgiveness. Then comes Work. And Compassion. Finally Wholesome Recreation!... Manis Family Rules!" ('cause we rule, and they're our rules, get it? :) Our kids are young and think it's great, but we constantly remind them and apply those 'rules.' When they are fighting, 'hey, are you showing love?' When they are holding a grudge from their brother that stole something but apologized, 'hey, which one of our family rules do you need to work on?' Whining about work...'Manis Family...(works!)' etc. I mean, they are always there. And we don't have some big lecture or lesson, it's a simple reminder (though sometimes we do spend more time on it). It's a great way we use to always teach and have them apply.
2. Example. Pretty basic. We are always taught to teach by example and kids are especially observant. When I get out the vacuum, Elsie goes and grabs her little walker to push around the house with me. They mimic everything they see and hear. So just be really cautious about what you are saying, how you are saying it (tone, positive, etc), what you are watching and listening to. For a little while I started a season of Amazing Race. I like to see places around the world and it was just an easy, 'have on tv while i'm folding laundry show.' But, it's a reality show, and stressful for the contestants. Therefore, they were using the Lord's name in vain frequently. I didn't really notice how often it was until my little on (whom I've taught we don't say that) says, 'Mom. Why do you watch this if they always say that?' Oh. If I'm teaching it's wrong, and voluntarily letting it in my house I guess that's counterproductive. Acts. Language. Media.
3. Conversation with kids. This doesn't have to be anything big. But look for ways teach in your conversation. One thing I do is every night I ask my kids what their favorite part of the day is. They don't think I'm teaching them anything when I do this. But my secret goal by having these bedtime conversations with them is to learn how to be optomistic, look for the good things in their day and have gratitude. I've tried asking them when they get home from school when they talk about their day to ask if they helped anyone. How great is it if they know I'm going to ask them every day so they start looking for ways to serve - held the door open, picked up a pencil someone dropped, shared a snack, etc. And Dad does interviews with the kids about once a month. It is a great time for him to talk to them one-on-one and see how they're doing. He's not 'teaching' them, but if they have questions or are struggling with something it's a safe and comfortable time for them to bring things up.
So that's what I shared on teaching kids, but I decided to close with a final thought, to learn for yourself! It's great to teach kids. But if you're not constantly teaching yourself, you're not going to be in the best position to teach them.
LAST, LEARN FOR YOURSELF
For me, it is hard to be motivated to 'learn.' I don't go to school. I haven't had a 'teaching calling' since I've been married. So I never prepare primary, yw or rs lessons. I just found myself never really studying anything and it got depressing. So... I decided to get more active in this! Have a blog or journal where you write insights you have. Or pick a topic you want to study and write up a little 'devotional' thing for it. It has helped me read a lot more Ensign articles, scriptures, and look for lessons I learn from life.
Second, if you're married, take advantage of your spouse. Jack studies scriptures for his prep, then teaches them all day long, then does his personal study, and then does family study. So when I was kind of adamant we have couple scripture study too, he was a little burned out from it. So, we try to do a 'couple study' every night and take turns who's in charge. And we vary it a lot. But it still allows us to think and talk and get insights from eachother. Some ideas and things we do are watch a conference talk, prepare a little devotional from a scripture you read, share a thought from the ensign article, mormon messages, and there are lots of story, quote or daily thought/scripture books. I love Packer's book that gives little stories. Maxwell has a good one too. Just learn from eachother.
So anyway, I think learning and teaching is important and it's a skill I continue to try to improve on with myself and implementing with our kids.
Monday, November 2, 2015
Missionary Work
This last month I was able to experience missionary work on multi-levels. My baby sister got home from her mission in Mexico. The very next day I was able to go with my family to the temple to see her be baptized by my dad for my grandma.
Now my grandma holds a special place in my hart. she was a giving, loving lady who cared for my aunt by herself after she was diagnosed very young with alzeheimers. It was no easy task and when my aunt got really bad, my grandma decided to move to Las Vegas to be closer to my mom who could help. My aunt took a turn for the worse and within days after arriving, passed away. Those last couple days my grandma watched my aunt strapped down to a hospital bed, kicking and screaming. My grandma felt extreme guilt for moving down. but when my sister and I were able to do my aunt's initiatory and endowment a couple years ago and my sister relayed her experience to my grandma, my grandma in awe said, "Wait. What day and time did you do that?" And my grandma swelled with emotion saying she had a clear feeling that Leslie was okay and happy at the same time.
So when my mom asked me to take my Grandma's name to the temple to receive her endowment, since I was named after her, I was so excited. It was such a special moment, to feel of my own grandmother's happiness when that time came. The happiness the gospel brings is real. And it continues to grow. Minutes later I sat, with my parents, siblings, and their spouses in a sealing room. I witnessed my grandma be sealed to her parents, then my grandma and grandpa sealed to eachother, and my mother (and aunt by proxy) sealed to their parents.
The sealing power brings a spirit that is like no other. It is powerful and it is real. I have a testimony of the temple. It is a house of the Lord where we can go to feel of our Heavenly Father's spirit on a new plane. There is a closeness to the other side of the veil. And through the priesthood, we take part in saving ordinances that are essential to live with our families forever and Heavenly Father again.
I am in awe what missionary work can do. I look at my mom, and that because someone shared the gospel with her, she was able to marry my father in the temple. Myself and my kids now have the truth in our lives. Plus my siblings. And their kids. I sat in the temple looking at all of us. And we make a pretty good crowd! It doesn't stop there. My kids' kids and so on. And even family that has already passed on get to receive the blessings. There is no bounds for missionary work. We can all take part in it.
Last Sunday our bishop wanted the ward to sing "Army of Helaman" as the closing song. I've always loved that song. And hearing a whole ward sing it was fun. It was loud. And powerful. And 'we are as the Army of Helaman... We will be the Lord's missionaries to bring the world his truth." We can all be missionaries and we are building an army to serve the Lord. I love that thought and know the Lord's side will win. Christ will come again and the righteous will be victorious. I am happy to be on his side and want to be a valiant, strong member.
One last thought, I recently finished reading "Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe" to my kids. So we watched the movie this last weekend. And man, even before our ward sang that song or I had this 'army' image in my head, I was so overcome with emotion before that battle starts. Peter on his horse. His army loud and cheering and confident, despite the fact it seemed like there was no way they could win. That wickedness was strong. It was powerful. The numbers were huge. And it seemed like it would overtake them. But that didn't stop them from trying their best. They all shout, "For Narnia! For Aslan!" And I just had that urge in me, I need to be like that! I can't get depressed about the wickedness of the world and the way it looks like it is going. Because, Christ will come. With that extra army, to trump wickedness and righteous will be victorious. Until that time comes. I will be valiant. I will proudly stand for righteousness. Read the book. Watch the movie. I love the parallels in it. :)
Anyway, let's be missionaries. For our family. Friends. And ancestors.
Now my grandma holds a special place in my hart. she was a giving, loving lady who cared for my aunt by herself after she was diagnosed very young with alzeheimers. It was no easy task and when my aunt got really bad, my grandma decided to move to Las Vegas to be closer to my mom who could help. My aunt took a turn for the worse and within days after arriving, passed away. Those last couple days my grandma watched my aunt strapped down to a hospital bed, kicking and screaming. My grandma felt extreme guilt for moving down. but when my sister and I were able to do my aunt's initiatory and endowment a couple years ago and my sister relayed her experience to my grandma, my grandma in awe said, "Wait. What day and time did you do that?" And my grandma swelled with emotion saying she had a clear feeling that Leslie was okay and happy at the same time.
So when my mom asked me to take my Grandma's name to the temple to receive her endowment, since I was named after her, I was so excited. It was such a special moment, to feel of my own grandmother's happiness when that time came. The happiness the gospel brings is real. And it continues to grow. Minutes later I sat, with my parents, siblings, and their spouses in a sealing room. I witnessed my grandma be sealed to her parents, then my grandma and grandpa sealed to eachother, and my mother (and aunt by proxy) sealed to their parents.
The sealing power brings a spirit that is like no other. It is powerful and it is real. I have a testimony of the temple. It is a house of the Lord where we can go to feel of our Heavenly Father's spirit on a new plane. There is a closeness to the other side of the veil. And through the priesthood, we take part in saving ordinances that are essential to live with our families forever and Heavenly Father again.
I am in awe what missionary work can do. I look at my mom, and that because someone shared the gospel with her, she was able to marry my father in the temple. Myself and my kids now have the truth in our lives. Plus my siblings. And their kids. I sat in the temple looking at all of us. And we make a pretty good crowd! It doesn't stop there. My kids' kids and so on. And even family that has already passed on get to receive the blessings. There is no bounds for missionary work. We can all take part in it.
Last Sunday our bishop wanted the ward to sing "Army of Helaman" as the closing song. I've always loved that song. And hearing a whole ward sing it was fun. It was loud. And powerful. And 'we are as the Army of Helaman... We will be the Lord's missionaries to bring the world his truth." We can all be missionaries and we are building an army to serve the Lord. I love that thought and know the Lord's side will win. Christ will come again and the righteous will be victorious. I am happy to be on his side and want to be a valiant, strong member.
One last thought, I recently finished reading "Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe" to my kids. So we watched the movie this last weekend. And man, even before our ward sang that song or I had this 'army' image in my head, I was so overcome with emotion before that battle starts. Peter on his horse. His army loud and cheering and confident, despite the fact it seemed like there was no way they could win. That wickedness was strong. It was powerful. The numbers were huge. And it seemed like it would overtake them. But that didn't stop them from trying their best. They all shout, "For Narnia! For Aslan!" And I just had that urge in me, I need to be like that! I can't get depressed about the wickedness of the world and the way it looks like it is going. Because, Christ will come. With that extra army, to trump wickedness and righteous will be victorious. Until that time comes. I will be valiant. I will proudly stand for righteousness. Read the book. Watch the movie. I love the parallels in it. :)
Anyway, let's be missionaries. For our family. Friends. And ancestors.
Monday, October 26, 2015
Sacrifice
My computer has been dead, but now i have one on loan from my mom! So though this posting is late, I had written it down at the scheduled date.
I have been thinking about sacrifice a lot lately, and the covenant we make to sacrifice. We are to be building up the kingdom of God. That is our goal. That is what we have promised. And we should use our time and talents to do that. And it seems easy enough in theory. We sacrifice time by going to church every week. I'm happy to sacrifice that. I play piano for church meetings. I'm using my talents to help. I can handle that. But sometimes sacrifice requires a little more.
I think about sacrament meeting a lot. Sundays are hard. They are long. And tiring. The whole day. But sacrament meeting, that's me on my own with the kids and so much pressure to have them all quiet, still, and reverent. It's not very pleasant most of the time. Our stake president and 1st councilor in the stake presidency were there last Sunday. I got up twice, and still felt like Noah and Ezra were disrespectful, and LOUD- laughing, not sitting still or listening for sure. Elsie crying. Asher just moody. It was very, very tiring. A guy in front of me made a comment about a wrestling match, and yep,that's what it felt like. But as tiring as it is, I wouldn't change it. I don't feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick. We're doing what we're supposed to be doing. And there is satisfacation in that.
I think of Jack and his qualities and how much good he can do. I think of that covenant, sacrifice for the building up of the kingdom of God, and that's what he is doing. And it makes me feel good. I'm happy to sacrifice my husband (his time anyway :) and some sanity and peace in my part, because I feel like there is good he can do. And should do. And I don't want to be the one to stop him or hold him back from what he should be doing. I'm a support. I've promised to sacrifice just as much as he has. We're doing good as a family. Sure it gets a little discouraging sometimes. I have a friend and her husband was just called as bishop. She wrote, "I have seen so many blessings I can't imagine why everyone isn't asking to be bishop!" :) She also only has one small child... But sometimes I think, where are those blessings? How come my kids are still so rotten? But I have seen improvements and I'm not worried.
Another thought when I think of sacrifice- after Adam and Eve are driven out of the Garden of Eden, Adam makes sacrifice to the Lord. An angel comes to him and asks, "Why dost thou offer sacrifices unto the Lord? And Adam said unto him: I know not, save the Lord commanded me." We can obviously be making sacrifices, because that's what we're supposed to do. We know we're supposed to. But we don't really understand, or may not being attention to - why.
The angel replies, "This thing is a similitude of the sacrifice of the Only Begotten of the Father, which is full of grace and truth. Wherefore, thou shalt do all that thou doest in the name of the Son...And in that day the Holy Ghost fell upon Adam...And in that day Adam blessed God and was filled" (Moses 5:6-10). The angel teaches Adam why. He doesn't say, "Well good job. Keep it up." There is added satisfaction and blessings when we know why and make our sacrifices with a purpose. When we know our efforts are in similitude of Christ, and we think of Him. If we are repenting and having the Holy Ghost, we can be filled. And be happy as Eve later expresses.
I'm not perfect. But I can see that. I have that. I offer these sacrifices to the Lord and think of His great sacrifice for us. It helps me be willing and happy to offer those sacrifices. No, it's not always easy, but it's worth it. haha. Don't you hate that fake quote and picture of Jesus. But I can't argue with the truth of it. :) Anyway, as tired as I often feel, I also feel filled. And it's good.
I have been thinking about sacrifice a lot lately, and the covenant we make to sacrifice. We are to be building up the kingdom of God. That is our goal. That is what we have promised. And we should use our time and talents to do that. And it seems easy enough in theory. We sacrifice time by going to church every week. I'm happy to sacrifice that. I play piano for church meetings. I'm using my talents to help. I can handle that. But sometimes sacrifice requires a little more.
I think about sacrament meeting a lot. Sundays are hard. They are long. And tiring. The whole day. But sacrament meeting, that's me on my own with the kids and so much pressure to have them all quiet, still, and reverent. It's not very pleasant most of the time. Our stake president and 1st councilor in the stake presidency were there last Sunday. I got up twice, and still felt like Noah and Ezra were disrespectful, and LOUD- laughing, not sitting still or listening for sure. Elsie crying. Asher just moody. It was very, very tiring. A guy in front of me made a comment about a wrestling match, and yep,that's what it felt like. But as tiring as it is, I wouldn't change it. I don't feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick. We're doing what we're supposed to be doing. And there is satisfacation in that.
I think of Jack and his qualities and how much good he can do. I think of that covenant, sacrifice for the building up of the kingdom of God, and that's what he is doing. And it makes me feel good. I'm happy to sacrifice my husband (his time anyway :) and some sanity and peace in my part, because I feel like there is good he can do. And should do. And I don't want to be the one to stop him or hold him back from what he should be doing. I'm a support. I've promised to sacrifice just as much as he has. We're doing good as a family. Sure it gets a little discouraging sometimes. I have a friend and her husband was just called as bishop. She wrote, "I have seen so many blessings I can't imagine why everyone isn't asking to be bishop!" :) She also only has one small child... But sometimes I think, where are those blessings? How come my kids are still so rotten? But I have seen improvements and I'm not worried.
Another thought when I think of sacrifice- after Adam and Eve are driven out of the Garden of Eden, Adam makes sacrifice to the Lord. An angel comes to him and asks, "Why dost thou offer sacrifices unto the Lord? And Adam said unto him: I know not, save the Lord commanded me." We can obviously be making sacrifices, because that's what we're supposed to do. We know we're supposed to. But we don't really understand, or may not being attention to - why.
The angel replies, "This thing is a similitude of the sacrifice of the Only Begotten of the Father, which is full of grace and truth. Wherefore, thou shalt do all that thou doest in the name of the Son...And in that day the Holy Ghost fell upon Adam...And in that day Adam blessed God and was filled" (Moses 5:6-10). The angel teaches Adam why. He doesn't say, "Well good job. Keep it up." There is added satisfaction and blessings when we know why and make our sacrifices with a purpose. When we know our efforts are in similitude of Christ, and we think of Him. If we are repenting and having the Holy Ghost, we can be filled. And be happy as Eve later expresses.
I'm not perfect. But I can see that. I have that. I offer these sacrifices to the Lord and think of His great sacrifice for us. It helps me be willing and happy to offer those sacrifices. No, it's not always easy, but it's worth it. haha. Don't you hate that fake quote and picture of Jesus. But I can't argue with the truth of it. :) Anyway, as tired as I often feel, I also feel filled. And it's good.
Monday, October 19, 2015
O Remember, Remember
I know this isn't new, but I love it.
Doesn't it just speak to you and make you say, yes! yes! And so it's so hard to not get frustrated with yourself when you're not consistent with it since you love it so much, but for the last month I've tried really hard to do this. Now, I think about it a lot. For years I have. I remember the talk. I like the idea. But what I have noticed in the last little bit is instead of just thinking about it and asking myself that question, I have tried to write it down.
Instead of asking, 'have I seen the Lord's hand in my life,' (which I think is a bit more daunting and difficult if you feel like you're not good at seeing the Lord's hand), I have asked myself 'what was your favorite part of the day?' Remember, I'm trying to be more positive. And I'll be honest, it was really hard for me sometimes. I think... ugh. I didn't like anything today! But as I've been doing it, it has gotten easier and easier. Instead of my one favorite thing, I'll think of three or four. I just spend my entire day looking for my favorite part. So something will happen and I'll say, 'oh, this is probably it.' thinking nothing even close to being good will happen, so that will have to be the best of the worst. But then something else happens and I think, 'oh, well maybe this is better than that last thing.' I don't know if that makes sense. But it has helped me a lot. Just looking for good things. And making things that I normally wouldn't consider good, but thinking of them as a good thing, and then they actually start becoming good. So one thing I've enjoyed from doing it is being more thankful for things in my life.
And the second thing, as I've been writing it down, I notice things I didn't really notice when I thought about them. For example, one day I documented my favorite part of the day when Noah came home from school and was telling me they had an assembly that day. And at the assembly they played the chicken dance. And so Noah, Ezra and Asher danced around the family room doing the chicken dance laughing and being silly. It was a fun moment.
But when I was writing about the experience I mentioned that when Noah said they did the chicken dance Ezra said, "And I did NOT do the chicken dance! I am not doing that in front of everyone!" (He's a very self-conscious little boy). And Noah said, "Why? Because you didn't want to shake your bum like this?!" and then shook his bum. And that's when Ezra started laughing and they started dancing together. So when I was writing it I noticed I was writing about how thankful I was that Ezra feels safe and comfortable in his home that he isn't worried about what we think of him like he would at school. And I think that's wonderful. I may not have appreciated had I just thought, 'those boys are funny.' Instead I was able to recognize that I am being a mother that is making my home a place they are secure and can talk to me about anything and act like themselves. Does that make sense?
Another example, I wrote about how my favorite part of the day was lying in the grass at night with Jack. But I write more of a journal-entry (like Eyring says, events of the day) then a one-line, this was it. So as I wrote about what was going on that evening, I planned a craft-night. Got supplies together, made cookies and invited about 20 girls. No one came. I sat and crafted by myself, and it was fine, but my kids were out and crawling all over me, which Jack probably would have been more aware of had there been other people there. But then Elsie wouldn't go to sleep and was screaming! The night wasn't the fun, relaxing night I was hoping for, so when Jack went out to get the mail that night I stepped outside and laid on the grass. He joined me. There was a football game going on at the school and we could hear the announcer from our yard. I heard Elsie screaming inside. I laid with Jack in the grass staring up at the stars and those other noises and distractions seemed muffled. My focus was on Jack and I was able to just enjoy lying there with him in the darkness. It felt peaceful and so nice. And when I wrote about it, I was able to pull another lesson. Lots of times in life things don't go the way we would hope. There are distractions. There are difficulties. But we are still able to drown away the wickedness or noise of the world and have quiet times with our Savior. We can feel peace if we put in the time and effort. Obviously these are condensed versions, but it gave me another way of looking at and enjoying my night.
I frequently find lessons I learned throughout the day now as I write about it. They are things I wouldn't even notice or acknowledge or grow from near as much had I not written them down. It just brings a different dimension, or works a different part of your brain to make connections that just experiencing or thinking about it doesn't do. So, I want to continue to do that and see how it changes me and appreciate my Savior more and see his hand in my life.
Doesn't it just speak to you and make you say, yes! yes! And so it's so hard to not get frustrated with yourself when you're not consistent with it since you love it so much, but for the last month I've tried really hard to do this. Now, I think about it a lot. For years I have. I remember the talk. I like the idea. But what I have noticed in the last little bit is instead of just thinking about it and asking myself that question, I have tried to write it down.
Instead of asking, 'have I seen the Lord's hand in my life,' (which I think is a bit more daunting and difficult if you feel like you're not good at seeing the Lord's hand), I have asked myself 'what was your favorite part of the day?' Remember, I'm trying to be more positive. And I'll be honest, it was really hard for me sometimes. I think... ugh. I didn't like anything today! But as I've been doing it, it has gotten easier and easier. Instead of my one favorite thing, I'll think of three or four. I just spend my entire day looking for my favorite part. So something will happen and I'll say, 'oh, this is probably it.' thinking nothing even close to being good will happen, so that will have to be the best of the worst. But then something else happens and I think, 'oh, well maybe this is better than that last thing.' I don't know if that makes sense. But it has helped me a lot. Just looking for good things. And making things that I normally wouldn't consider good, but thinking of them as a good thing, and then they actually start becoming good. So one thing I've enjoyed from doing it is being more thankful for things in my life.
And the second thing, as I've been writing it down, I notice things I didn't really notice when I thought about them. For example, one day I documented my favorite part of the day when Noah came home from school and was telling me they had an assembly that day. And at the assembly they played the chicken dance. And so Noah, Ezra and Asher danced around the family room doing the chicken dance laughing and being silly. It was a fun moment.
But when I was writing about the experience I mentioned that when Noah said they did the chicken dance Ezra said, "And I did NOT do the chicken dance! I am not doing that in front of everyone!" (He's a very self-conscious little boy). And Noah said, "Why? Because you didn't want to shake your bum like this?!" and then shook his bum. And that's when Ezra started laughing and they started dancing together. So when I was writing it I noticed I was writing about how thankful I was that Ezra feels safe and comfortable in his home that he isn't worried about what we think of him like he would at school. And I think that's wonderful. I may not have appreciated had I just thought, 'those boys are funny.' Instead I was able to recognize that I am being a mother that is making my home a place they are secure and can talk to me about anything and act like themselves. Does that make sense?
Another example, I wrote about how my favorite part of the day was lying in the grass at night with Jack. But I write more of a journal-entry (like Eyring says, events of the day) then a one-line, this was it. So as I wrote about what was going on that evening, I planned a craft-night. Got supplies together, made cookies and invited about 20 girls. No one came. I sat and crafted by myself, and it was fine, but my kids were out and crawling all over me, which Jack probably would have been more aware of had there been other people there. But then Elsie wouldn't go to sleep and was screaming! The night wasn't the fun, relaxing night I was hoping for, so when Jack went out to get the mail that night I stepped outside and laid on the grass. He joined me. There was a football game going on at the school and we could hear the announcer from our yard. I heard Elsie screaming inside. I laid with Jack in the grass staring up at the stars and those other noises and distractions seemed muffled. My focus was on Jack and I was able to just enjoy lying there with him in the darkness. It felt peaceful and so nice. And when I wrote about it, I was able to pull another lesson. Lots of times in life things don't go the way we would hope. There are distractions. There are difficulties. But we are still able to drown away the wickedness or noise of the world and have quiet times with our Savior. We can feel peace if we put in the time and effort. Obviously these are condensed versions, but it gave me another way of looking at and enjoying my night.
I frequently find lessons I learned throughout the day now as I write about it. They are things I wouldn't even notice or acknowledge or grow from near as much had I not written them down. It just brings a different dimension, or works a different part of your brain to make connections that just experiencing or thinking about it doesn't do. So, I want to continue to do that and see how it changes me and appreciate my Savior more and see his hand in my life.
Monday, October 12, 2015
Day-to-day Patience
Okay, so I still stand by my happiness post and know truth is in there. Even just having that focus, "I can be happy as I seek after righteousness" helps me. But at the same time, as I have 4 kids, ages 7 and younger, my house is chaotic. Loud. Messy. Chaotic. And my kids... eat more than anyone I know. I always read of other people making a post about how much their kid ate for breakfast-a banana, a bowl of cereal, a piece of toast AND a glass of milk! ... Really? Try 4 bananas, 5 bowls of cereal, 3 pieces of toast, a full glass of milk and let's throw in a package of brown sugar, a jar of peanut butter, 2 frozen corn dogs and some string cheese. I mean, each of my kids eats that much. 8 times a day. If I buy 2 big bunches of bananas it is gone in 30 minutes. It's not uncommon to hear our boys ask, "What's for third breakfast?" as if that was normal for the whole world. They are ALWAYS eating!! And I run out of food sometimes. Or ideas of semi-healthy things to give them, but then they whine and moan and complain about how hungry they are. In those cases, I don't necessarily think it's my happiness that needs to be strengthened, but my patience.
I've just been paying closer attention to 'being happy' and quickly realized, 'Oh. I need patience' as I deal with the never-ending fights, and cries, and begging for more food. So I searched it and what do you know, the first thing that came up was, "Patience, a Key to Happiness" by Elder Wirthlin. I loved Elder Wirthlin. I don't know if it was just that happy old grandpa feel he had, or his name reminds me werthers originals :), but I just had a love for him. And so yes, a key element I missed in my last 'happiness' post, is patience. Sometimes it's patience you need to have that happiness you deserve.
And when I read about patience, think about patience, I feel it is often taught, 'Patience in trials. Patience with the Lord. Trust his timetable." And that is a different kind of patience. That patience is closely related to faith. I'm still not always great at it, but I get it. The day-to-day patience is tougher. Not necessarily during 'trials,' just life. I feel bad calling my children "trials." Because they're blessings. So I need patience with those little blessings. :) My problem is not not trusting the Lord. I'm not asking, 'why are my kids this way?!" I get it. They're little. They're dumb. And I honestly don't want them to be grown. I already often feel like time is moving too fast. Let them stay little. I just need the patience to get through their dumb. Or even if it isn't kids. It's getting irritated that my internet cuts out multiple times during the day. No trusting the Lord's timetable there. It's just learning to not be quick to anger. And it's harder finding church talks on that aspect.
So, this is dumb. But I think about it, and when I think about it, it often helps. It's an episode of Family Matters and Carl Winslow gets irritated a lot by Steve Urkel. I get it! And so his therapist or somebody tells him whenever he feels himself getting angry to say, "3-2-1. 1-2-3. What the heck is bothering me?" And so even just that few seconds of separating yourself from the situation helps. And makes me chuckle that I'm using Family Matters episodes to help me in life. haha.
Anyway, that isn't to say there isn't any help out there from apostles on the matter. Let me share a few things from that talk I did like!
I've just been paying closer attention to 'being happy' and quickly realized, 'Oh. I need patience' as I deal with the never-ending fights, and cries, and begging for more food. So I searched it and what do you know, the first thing that came up was, "Patience, a Key to Happiness" by Elder Wirthlin. I loved Elder Wirthlin. I don't know if it was just that happy old grandpa feel he had, or his name reminds me werthers originals :), but I just had a love for him. And so yes, a key element I missed in my last 'happiness' post, is patience. Sometimes it's patience you need to have that happiness you deserve.
And when I read about patience, think about patience, I feel it is often taught, 'Patience in trials. Patience with the Lord. Trust his timetable." And that is a different kind of patience. That patience is closely related to faith. I'm still not always great at it, but I get it. The day-to-day patience is tougher. Not necessarily during 'trials,' just life. I feel bad calling my children "trials." Because they're blessings. So I need patience with those little blessings. :) My problem is not not trusting the Lord. I'm not asking, 'why are my kids this way?!" I get it. They're little. They're dumb. And I honestly don't want them to be grown. I already often feel like time is moving too fast. Let them stay little. I just need the patience to get through their dumb. Or even if it isn't kids. It's getting irritated that my internet cuts out multiple times during the day. No trusting the Lord's timetable there. It's just learning to not be quick to anger. And it's harder finding church talks on that aspect.
So, this is dumb. But I think about it, and when I think about it, it often helps. It's an episode of Family Matters and Carl Winslow gets irritated a lot by Steve Urkel. I get it! And so his therapist or somebody tells him whenever he feels himself getting angry to say, "3-2-1. 1-2-3. What the heck is bothering me?" And so even just that few seconds of separating yourself from the situation helps. And makes me chuckle that I'm using Family Matters episodes to help me in life. haha.
Anyway, that isn't to say there isn't any help out there from apostles on the matter. Let me share a few things from that talk I did like!
The Apostle Paul gave the purpose of patience in his epistle to the Saints in Rome: “We glory in tribulations … knowing that tribulation worketh patience; (Romans 5:3-4)
Again, I don't love the word tribulation. Instead, fill it in with - the boys can't find their shoes, again! The dog drags in leaves from the yard ALL day! Why isn't our toaster working?! Stop leaving the back-door open! Who dumped water all over the floor and didn't clean it up?!
So read that scripture again - "We glory in kids whining when you ask them to bring you a diaper...knowing their whining worketh patience."
So really, these day-to-day frustrations are just going to help me become a better person. Who doesn't wish they were better? I do. Okay. Think of it as ways you are becoming better.
So then, later in the scripture it says we are blessed when patient, "But unto them that are contentious [impatient], and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, indignation and wrath, tribulation and anguish." (Romans 2:6-9)
Well, tribulation and anguish don't sound so great. So I better not respond with contention or impatience. So by exercising patience I am becoming better AND avoiding some pretty terrible stuff. Maybe it's like a promise, 'If you handle this well, I won't give you anything worse.' :) It's worth putting in some serious effort. :)
Another line from the talk that stood out to me said, "We should not be unduly discouraged nor in despair at any time when are doing the best we can." Those kids just don't seem to be learning anything. You repeat yourself over and over and over. And when I'm in sacrament meeting with 4 little kids by myself, that are yelling, or hitting, or pretending their sacrament bread is a gun with shooting noises and actions, no matter how many times I try to teach them reverence and the sacredness of the sacrament, I shouldn't be discouraged. It's a wild thought. But if I am doing the best I can, which I often feel I am, I should not be discouraged. Elder Wirthlin told me not to. And maybe my kids are helping others around us to learn how to be patient too. :) 'Stop complaining. They're just helping you be a better person!' ha. Oh goodness.
To close I'm just going to copy 2 paragraphs from his talk relating to family relationships, mainly ones with our kids. Because if you can't tell, that's where my patience struggles the most. :) Enjoy!
Patience with family members and others who are close to us is vital for us to have happy homes. However, we often seem more willing to be courteous and polite with strangers than with those in our own family circles. For some reason, criticism, sharp language, and quarreling too often seem to be acceptable at home but not away from home.
Parents, be patient with your children. Read to your little children and help them with their schoolwork, even if you need to tell or show them the same thing many times. Elder Richard L. Evans said, “If they find that they can trust us with their trivial questions, they may later trust us with more weighty ones” (Ensign, May 1971, p. 12). Capitalize on their natural curiosity and help them develop a love for learning. Teach them the principles of the gospel in simple terms. Be patient with them if they disturb family home evening or family prayers. Convey to them the reverence you feel for the gospel, Church leaders, and the Savior.
I want to try to enjoy them more. I feel like I'm a pretty good mom. I ask how their day was after school, help with homework, and read to them at night. But I know when I am doing things with them, even if I need to convince myself to do it, I develop more love for them. So, I think it's worth a try, If I can spend more unstructured time with them, I think it may influence how patient I am with them. A part of me worries it will make it worse, ha, but at least maybe I am building some of that trust from them. And if all else fails, you can always count on prayer. Ask Heavenly Father for help and strength.
Again, I don't love the word tribulation. Instead, fill it in with - the boys can't find their shoes, again! The dog drags in leaves from the yard ALL day! Why isn't our toaster working?! Stop leaving the back-door open! Who dumped water all over the floor and didn't clean it up?!
So read that scripture again - "We glory in kids whining when you ask them to bring you a diaper...knowing their whining worketh patience."
So really, these day-to-day frustrations are just going to help me become a better person. Who doesn't wish they were better? I do. Okay. Think of it as ways you are becoming better.
So then, later in the scripture it says we are blessed when patient, "But unto them that are contentious [impatient], and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, indignation and wrath, tribulation and anguish." (Romans 2:6-9)
Well, tribulation and anguish don't sound so great. So I better not respond with contention or impatience. So by exercising patience I am becoming better AND avoiding some pretty terrible stuff. Maybe it's like a promise, 'If you handle this well, I won't give you anything worse.' :) It's worth putting in some serious effort. :)
Another line from the talk that stood out to me said, "We should not be unduly discouraged nor in despair at any time when are doing the best we can." Those kids just don't seem to be learning anything. You repeat yourself over and over and over. And when I'm in sacrament meeting with 4 little kids by myself, that are yelling, or hitting, or pretending their sacrament bread is a gun with shooting noises and actions, no matter how many times I try to teach them reverence and the sacredness of the sacrament, I shouldn't be discouraged. It's a wild thought. But if I am doing the best I can, which I often feel I am, I should not be discouraged. Elder Wirthlin told me not to. And maybe my kids are helping others around us to learn how to be patient too. :) 'Stop complaining. They're just helping you be a better person!' ha. Oh goodness.
To close I'm just going to copy 2 paragraphs from his talk relating to family relationships, mainly ones with our kids. Because if you can't tell, that's where my patience struggles the most. :) Enjoy!
Patience with family members and others who are close to us is vital for us to have happy homes. However, we often seem more willing to be courteous and polite with strangers than with those in our own family circles. For some reason, criticism, sharp language, and quarreling too often seem to be acceptable at home but not away from home.
Parents, be patient with your children. Read to your little children and help them with their schoolwork, even if you need to tell or show them the same thing many times. Elder Richard L. Evans said, “If they find that they can trust us with their trivial questions, they may later trust us with more weighty ones” (Ensign, May 1971, p. 12). Capitalize on their natural curiosity and help them develop a love for learning. Teach them the principles of the gospel in simple terms. Be patient with them if they disturb family home evening or family prayers. Convey to them the reverence you feel for the gospel, Church leaders, and the Savior.
I want to try to enjoy them more. I feel like I'm a pretty good mom. I ask how their day was after school, help with homework, and read to them at night. But I know when I am doing things with them, even if I need to convince myself to do it, I develop more love for them. So, I think it's worth a try, If I can spend more unstructured time with them, I think it may influence how patient I am with them. A part of me worries it will make it worse, ha, but at least maybe I am building some of that trust from them. And if all else fails, you can always count on prayer. Ask Heavenly Father for help and strength.
Monday, October 5, 2015
Happiness
This last weekend was General Conference. And it was great! Maybe as I get older I'm not worrying so much about keeping my children busy, entertained, making sure they're getting something out of it and instead focusing on me. Wrong? I don't know, but I know I sure was able to listen better than I have in the past, as they were in the room next door playing for half of it. :)
Anyway, Saturday morning session just screamed of happiness I felt. And how we need to have joy in our lives. That is something I've been struggling with lately. I blame hormones, but really, I've known I need to be better. About 2 weeks ago I made a bunch of "Be of good cheer" signs and hung them all around my house. Hoping that seeing that phrase all day will bury itself into my subconscious and I can be more cheerful and positive. So that's a good start, but I thought I'd share a few other thoughts from the general authorities on the matter.
I'm not really good at taking notes. I write down things I think, but I don't usually write down the quotes I like. I always figure I can go back and look at them and write them down, but I guess talk titles and transcripts are not up yet... So maybe this post will be expanded later, for now I'll include what I can -
President Uchtdorf asked why some feel joy in the gospel, and some feel it is lacking. It's true. You look at people at church, and some people just really enjoy it. And some feel bored with it. Or think that it needs to be 'updated.' I don't fall into the latter category, but I do feel the need to enjoy it more. I want to be one of those 'happy people.' He gave some great tips about focusing on the basic doctrines and starting where you are, not being frustrated you're not as smart or as good of a teacher as your husband. :) (or lots of times I feel myself thinking, 'you used to be so much better!' And it gets so frustrating that it almost stagnates you. Yeah, kids are hard. Yeah, it's a lot more difficult to have a quiet house for pondering or finding time to serve others outside of your home. I don't do all the things I used to do, but it doesn't mean I can't do my best to 'start where you are,' accept my stage of life for what it is and work with it)
Elder Ballard talked about key truths to hold onto. I felt like those are things I need to study deeper that President Uchdorf mentioned to help you find joy in the gospel. Basics. Foundation. I don't question my testimony in any of those things, but do I really study them? No, not really.
Maynes was all about finding joy in living a Christ-centered life. He said our joy depends on how well we are centered in Christ. Okay. If I'm not feeling the joy I think I should have, I must not be centered enough on Christ. And need to ponder ways to improve.
Which led right into Lawrence's talk. Which was possibly my favorite. He asked us to ask, "What am I lacking?" So far in conference we had been taught that we should have joy in the gospel. Some of us feel it is lacking. I determined I am not centered enough on Christ. So what do I need to do? Well, Lawrence told us exactly what to do. I just felt the conviction I need to go to the Savior to really figure out what changes I need to make in my life. And as I am willing and act upon those 'customized' answers from the Holy Ghost, I will find that joy I am looking for. It's a bit intimidating. Because you almost feel like you're going to get swamped with things you should be doing better, but I liked in his talk he mentioned the Holy Ghost will be there to help you. You may feel inspired that you need to say 'thank you' more. And then he said, that may lead you to something more challenging, 'saying sorry.' I feel confident as I approach the Lord with my desire to improve I will be directed in the best possible way for me to progress. I will know what order to focus my efforts.
And so we ended with Elder Cook just confirming what I had felt and been taught. We will receive happiness if we hunger and thirst after righteousness. I'm on the right path. I have that 'hunger,' I know what I need to do, and have been promised once again as I do that, follow that path, I will have happiness.
I do realize I missed two talks in this session. I just didn't get to listen to them because of those children I mentioned. But looking forward to going back and listening to them. And I bet I can find more ways for me to be happy. :)
So, to summarize my thoughts:
President Uchtdorf - "Do you have joy?"
Me - "No."
Elder Ballard - "Hold onto key gospel truths."
Elder Maynes - "Your happiness is directly related to how centered on Christ you are."
Me - "Okay. So to be happier I need to study basic gospel principles and get my life more centered on Christ."
Elder Lawrence - "Is there something you need to work on?"
Me - "Yes! I just said I need to study gospel principles and get my life more centered on Christ. How do I do that?"
Elder Lawrence - "Well, go to the Lord. Ask him what you need to do, or stop doing, and then be willing to accept the answer you get. The answer will be personally fit for you.
Me - "Yes! Okay!"
Elder Cook - "Good. You got it? Happiness is achieved by hungering and thirsting after righteousness."
Me - "Got it. Will do."
One other comment from Elder Cook I liked is he mentioned if we can resist something once, it will be easier to resist it later. So just naturally I know some of the things I should change in my life. For example, watching that extra tv show at night instead of getting to bed early, or using that as time to study the gospel. But it's hard. Because watching a show is so relaxing. And you don't want to have to think, or go to bed because that means morning is that much closer and you just don't feel ready for another day. But, if I can resist it that first time, then the next day, maybe it will be easier. And after a couple weeks of resisting, I'm not going to be tempted anymore. Elder Eyring said something along the same lines. He said when we have the Holy Ghost with us good things are more appealing and wicked things are not enticing. Not that watching tv is always wicked. But, that's where I'm at in my journey. I'm not struggling with the bigger sins. It is time to perfect myself. And that means stop wasting my time at night. I hope that I can get to the point where it doesn't even appeal to me. Instead, reading gospel books or studying the scriptures just sounds better.
Anyway, things for me to do. Wish me luck. It's always easy to be motivated right at first. I hope by writing all these things down it is one more groove in my determination to follow through. :)
Let's all put in the effort to get to the point where we can be truly happy!
Anyway, Saturday morning session just screamed of happiness I felt. And how we need to have joy in our lives. That is something I've been struggling with lately. I blame hormones, but really, I've known I need to be better. About 2 weeks ago I made a bunch of "Be of good cheer" signs and hung them all around my house. Hoping that seeing that phrase all day will bury itself into my subconscious and I can be more cheerful and positive. So that's a good start, but I thought I'd share a few other thoughts from the general authorities on the matter.
I'm not really good at taking notes. I write down things I think, but I don't usually write down the quotes I like. I always figure I can go back and look at them and write them down, but I guess talk titles and transcripts are not up yet... So maybe this post will be expanded later, for now I'll include what I can -
President Uchtdorf asked why some feel joy in the gospel, and some feel it is lacking. It's true. You look at people at church, and some people just really enjoy it. And some feel bored with it. Or think that it needs to be 'updated.' I don't fall into the latter category, but I do feel the need to enjoy it more. I want to be one of those 'happy people.' He gave some great tips about focusing on the basic doctrines and starting where you are, not being frustrated you're not as smart or as good of a teacher as your husband. :) (or lots of times I feel myself thinking, 'you used to be so much better!' And it gets so frustrating that it almost stagnates you. Yeah, kids are hard. Yeah, it's a lot more difficult to have a quiet house for pondering or finding time to serve others outside of your home. I don't do all the things I used to do, but it doesn't mean I can't do my best to 'start where you are,' accept my stage of life for what it is and work with it)
Elder Ballard talked about key truths to hold onto. I felt like those are things I need to study deeper that President Uchdorf mentioned to help you find joy in the gospel. Basics. Foundation. I don't question my testimony in any of those things, but do I really study them? No, not really.
Maynes was all about finding joy in living a Christ-centered life. He said our joy depends on how well we are centered in Christ. Okay. If I'm not feeling the joy I think I should have, I must not be centered enough on Christ. And need to ponder ways to improve.
Which led right into Lawrence's talk. Which was possibly my favorite. He asked us to ask, "What am I lacking?" So far in conference we had been taught that we should have joy in the gospel. Some of us feel it is lacking. I determined I am not centered enough on Christ. So what do I need to do? Well, Lawrence told us exactly what to do. I just felt the conviction I need to go to the Savior to really figure out what changes I need to make in my life. And as I am willing and act upon those 'customized' answers from the Holy Ghost, I will find that joy I am looking for. It's a bit intimidating. Because you almost feel like you're going to get swamped with things you should be doing better, but I liked in his talk he mentioned the Holy Ghost will be there to help you. You may feel inspired that you need to say 'thank you' more. And then he said, that may lead you to something more challenging, 'saying sorry.' I feel confident as I approach the Lord with my desire to improve I will be directed in the best possible way for me to progress. I will know what order to focus my efforts.
And so we ended with Elder Cook just confirming what I had felt and been taught. We will receive happiness if we hunger and thirst after righteousness. I'm on the right path. I have that 'hunger,' I know what I need to do, and have been promised once again as I do that, follow that path, I will have happiness.
I do realize I missed two talks in this session. I just didn't get to listen to them because of those children I mentioned. But looking forward to going back and listening to them. And I bet I can find more ways for me to be happy. :)
So, to summarize my thoughts:
President Uchtdorf - "Do you have joy?"
Me - "No."
Elder Ballard - "Hold onto key gospel truths."
Elder Maynes - "Your happiness is directly related to how centered on Christ you are."
Me - "Okay. So to be happier I need to study basic gospel principles and get my life more centered on Christ."
Elder Lawrence - "Is there something you need to work on?"
Me - "Yes! I just said I need to study gospel principles and get my life more centered on Christ. How do I do that?"
Elder Lawrence - "Well, go to the Lord. Ask him what you need to do, or stop doing, and then be willing to accept the answer you get. The answer will be personally fit for you.
Me - "Yes! Okay!"
Elder Cook - "Good. You got it? Happiness is achieved by hungering and thirsting after righteousness."
Me - "Got it. Will do."
One other comment from Elder Cook I liked is he mentioned if we can resist something once, it will be easier to resist it later. So just naturally I know some of the things I should change in my life. For example, watching that extra tv show at night instead of getting to bed early, or using that as time to study the gospel. But it's hard. Because watching a show is so relaxing. And you don't want to have to think, or go to bed because that means morning is that much closer and you just don't feel ready for another day. But, if I can resist it that first time, then the next day, maybe it will be easier. And after a couple weeks of resisting, I'm not going to be tempted anymore. Elder Eyring said something along the same lines. He said when we have the Holy Ghost with us good things are more appealing and wicked things are not enticing. Not that watching tv is always wicked. But, that's where I'm at in my journey. I'm not struggling with the bigger sins. It is time to perfect myself. And that means stop wasting my time at night. I hope that I can get to the point where it doesn't even appeal to me. Instead, reading gospel books or studying the scriptures just sounds better.
Anyway, things for me to do. Wish me luck. It's always easy to be motivated right at first. I hope by writing all these things down it is one more groove in my determination to follow through. :)
Let's all put in the effort to get to the point where we can be truly happy!
Thursday, October 1, 2015
Value of Life
So something has been bothering me a lot lately. And the tragic school shooting that took place in Oregon today fueled me to say something about my recent thoughts, though this isn't going to be about how terrible that event was, even though it makes my gut squirm thinking about it.
But this is a much bigger issue. The world is just in a bad place. These kind of horrific events are happening more and more frequently. And I have many friends that take each one as a time to stand and talk about how evil guns are and that we MUST enforce gun laws. "When is enough, enough?" But these same friends that go on rampages about how guns need to be banned, are my same friends that believe in a women's right to choose abortion. I've got a problem with that.
I'm not really going to talk about guns here. Sure there could be some measures taken to make it safer. But I want to talk about life. And the value of life. About a month ago my friend posted a quote that was getting a lot of attention about how 'the world decided it didn't value life after the Sandy Hook shooting' (because no gun laws were passed after it). So after that incident, because we didn't pass any laws, that was the beginning of the world not valuing life??? I understood the point the person was trying to make, but man it made me angry that he was claiming those that weren't in favor of banning guns must not value life, innocent children's lives. Because that is NOT true. We are the ones that hold an ever deeper value of it. We see life and its potential.
Not valuing life started well before these school shootings. Abortions have been around for a long time. And that number is only increasing, in staggering ways. I think that is a far bigger sign that people stopped valuing life. I truly believe that is one of the roots to all the evil that is in the world. When you can take something as innocent and miraculous of new life and see that little peanut that was made from your own flesh, and watch the flicker of the heart and hear the steady beat and say, 'that doesn't matter.' I just can not understand. I can not understand how people think it is okay to end life there, but not okay to end it for a 5 year old. (Obviously no sane person would think of harming an innocent child. So why do they think they can just a few short months earlier.) When we look at an ultrasound screen we see that 5 year old girl you value. Why not this baby that will grow into her?
When you see abortions, hear about abortions, make them a 'normal' thing, then the value of life is just desensitized. It's going to be harder and harder to draw that line of when is a life valuable. We can make life. We can take it away. It just loses the respect and reverence it deserves.
Of course, I don't think abortions are the sole problem. I see lots of things in today's world that I think are having an alarming effect on how people view other people. And phones are certainly one of those issues. If you look around, kids don't talk to other kids the way they used to. Bullying has vamped up. It's so easy to send hateful texts and just lose the person behind the screen. People are losing reality. We are getting so deceived. And technology today makes that so, so much easier. Media takes away that same reality. How many times do we see tv show relationships and think they're real and get so involved in their 'lives.' We see people die on screen. It's sad. But it's not real. You are not getting a real picture of what death is and how it effects people. Our perception is so off.
So there isn't really any point to this post except for me to complain. The recent Planned Parenthood videos and 'Shout Your Abortion' movement have me so disheartened. I wish people could love as Jesus loves and see life where it exists. Unfortunately I think there are three big contributing reasons to why the world is becoming desensitized to life/death and I don't see it improving:
1. Number of Abortions and the stigma they carry (shout your abortions?!)
2. Phones, social media - hiding behind screens and not building physical relationships
3. Movies, games, tv becoming increasingly violent and begins to warp the way you look at life, it's all just a game
*Not to mention the increasing number of moms outside of the homes and broken families. Refer to that last paragraph in the Family Proclamation. But I know I could offend lots of people so I just will mention what the prophets have warned and move on. :)
And who doesn't love to learn from a little scripture-
But this is a much bigger issue. The world is just in a bad place. These kind of horrific events are happening more and more frequently. And I have many friends that take each one as a time to stand and talk about how evil guns are and that we MUST enforce gun laws. "When is enough, enough?" But these same friends that go on rampages about how guns need to be banned, are my same friends that believe in a women's right to choose abortion. I've got a problem with that.
I'm not really going to talk about guns here. Sure there could be some measures taken to make it safer. But I want to talk about life. And the value of life. About a month ago my friend posted a quote that was getting a lot of attention about how 'the world decided it didn't value life after the Sandy Hook shooting' (because no gun laws were passed after it). So after that incident, because we didn't pass any laws, that was the beginning of the world not valuing life??? I understood the point the person was trying to make, but man it made me angry that he was claiming those that weren't in favor of banning guns must not value life, innocent children's lives. Because that is NOT true. We are the ones that hold an ever deeper value of it. We see life and its potential.
Not valuing life started well before these school shootings. Abortions have been around for a long time. And that number is only increasing, in staggering ways. I think that is a far bigger sign that people stopped valuing life. I truly believe that is one of the roots to all the evil that is in the world. When you can take something as innocent and miraculous of new life and see that little peanut that was made from your own flesh, and watch the flicker of the heart and hear the steady beat and say, 'that doesn't matter.' I just can not understand. I can not understand how people think it is okay to end life there, but not okay to end it for a 5 year old. (Obviously no sane person would think of harming an innocent child. So why do they think they can just a few short months earlier.) When we look at an ultrasound screen we see that 5 year old girl you value. Why not this baby that will grow into her?
When you see abortions, hear about abortions, make them a 'normal' thing, then the value of life is just desensitized. It's going to be harder and harder to draw that line of when is a life valuable. We can make life. We can take it away. It just loses the respect and reverence it deserves.
Of course, I don't think abortions are the sole problem. I see lots of things in today's world that I think are having an alarming effect on how people view other people. And phones are certainly one of those issues. If you look around, kids don't talk to other kids the way they used to. Bullying has vamped up. It's so easy to send hateful texts and just lose the person behind the screen. People are losing reality. We are getting so deceived. And technology today makes that so, so much easier. Media takes away that same reality. How many times do we see tv show relationships and think they're real and get so involved in their 'lives.' We see people die on screen. It's sad. But it's not real. You are not getting a real picture of what death is and how it effects people. Our perception is so off.
So there isn't really any point to this post except for me to complain. The recent Planned Parenthood videos and 'Shout Your Abortion' movement have me so disheartened. I wish people could love as Jesus loves and see life where it exists. Unfortunately I think there are three big contributing reasons to why the world is becoming desensitized to life/death and I don't see it improving:
1. Number of Abortions and the stigma they carry (shout your abortions?!)
2. Phones, social media - hiding behind screens and not building physical relationships
3. Movies, games, tv becoming increasingly violent and begins to warp the way you look at life, it's all just a game
*Not to mention the increasing number of moms outside of the homes and broken families. Refer to that last paragraph in the Family Proclamation. But I know I could offend lots of people so I just will mention what the prophets have warned and move on. :)
And who doesn't love to learn from a little scripture-
"And the Lord showed Enoch all things, even unto the end of the world." Enoch saw also that Satan "had a great chain in his hand, and it veiled the whole face of the earth with darkness; and he [Satan] looked up and laughed."
With all that Enoch beheld, there was one thing that seemed to capture his attention above everything else. Enoch saw God look "upon the reside of the people, and He wept."
The sacred record then has Enoch asking God over and over: "How is it that thou canst weep? ... How is it thou canst weep?" The Lord answered Enoch: "Behold these thy brethren; they are the workmanship of mine own hands ... ' unto thy brethren have I ... also given commandment, that they should love one another, and that they should choose me, their Father; but behold, they are without affection, and they hate their own blood."
Taken from Elder Ballard's "The Atonement and the Value of One Soul"
includes scriptures found in Moses 7: 26,28-29, 31-33, 67
Monday, September 21, 2015
The Sabbath Day
Well I planned on writing more frequently, but then my computer died and my brother has had it trying to fix it. Forget trying to type on a kindle, so my plans went kaplunk, until now! hopefully. :)
So recently the church has been making a push towards keeping the sabbath day holy. When they asked all of the twelve apostles, what can the members do to increase faith and strengthen their testimony they ALL said, 'better keep the sabbath day holy.' Out of everything we could do - read scriptures more, pray more, increase temple worship, service, etc, etc. But... EVERY ONE of them said sabbath day. Pretty cool. So it's an important thing.
Last month Jack was in charge of speakers for sacrament and he found out the day before that there was some miscommunication in the stake and there was no high councilor for the assigned day. Saturday morning as Jack was out the door he said, "Well, maybe be ready to speak on the sabbath tomorrow!" in a joking manner. It was enough to get my mind thinking while I worked on chores and luckily the stake executive secretary stepped forward to speak. I never spent time tuning my thoughts into a talk format, but I thought I'd share some of the thoughts I did have that morning.
Jack's birthday had been coming up so I guess I had birthday on my mind that when I thought, the sabbath is the Lord's Day, how is that similar to Jack's birthday, being his day?
Birthdays are special. They are your special day.
Everyone looks forward to it
You decide what to do.
You decide what to eat.
Meals are planned ahead of time (along with lots of other planning to make sure the day is great!)
Gifts are given, for the birthday person.
So if you think of those same things and apply them to the sabbath.
The sabbath is special. It is God's special day.
We should look forward to it
We should do what he wants us to do.
He has a special meal - the sacrament that we eat and drink
We should plan our meals ahead of time. (Along with other planning)
We should give gifts to the Lord
Basically, the scriptures I read talk about the sabbath being a delight. I thought, do I delight in the sabbath the way I delight in birthdays? I work so hard to make birthdays special, and do I put that same effort into making the sabbath special? Do I plan and work ahead of time so that I can just relax and enjoy the birthday day, the same as I do on the sabbath? We shouldn't be hustling around. Clothes are picked out ahead of time. Meals are planned. The scriptures also teach that the sabbath is not about us. I think often times we say, 'Oh the sabbath! The day I can do whatever I want!" 'Sunday Funday' is one of my biggest pet peeves. But that's not the way we should look at it. We do what the Lord wants. Sure we could think of ourselves for other people's birthdays and give them a gift that we actually want. But that's selfish. You can't argue that. We should give them something that they would enjoy.
So anyway, I know there are some things I can improve upon. And just knowing the way I treat birthdays, it was helpful for me to look at them in the light that do I give enough attention to the Lord on His day. If we do it right, He will delight in the sabbath, but we can too, just like birthdays. ;)
So recently the church has been making a push towards keeping the sabbath day holy. When they asked all of the twelve apostles, what can the members do to increase faith and strengthen their testimony they ALL said, 'better keep the sabbath day holy.' Out of everything we could do - read scriptures more, pray more, increase temple worship, service, etc, etc. But... EVERY ONE of them said sabbath day. Pretty cool. So it's an important thing.
Last month Jack was in charge of speakers for sacrament and he found out the day before that there was some miscommunication in the stake and there was no high councilor for the assigned day. Saturday morning as Jack was out the door he said, "Well, maybe be ready to speak on the sabbath tomorrow!" in a joking manner. It was enough to get my mind thinking while I worked on chores and luckily the stake executive secretary stepped forward to speak. I never spent time tuning my thoughts into a talk format, but I thought I'd share some of the thoughts I did have that morning.
Jack's birthday had been coming up so I guess I had birthday on my mind that when I thought, the sabbath is the Lord's Day, how is that similar to Jack's birthday, being his day?
Birthdays are special. They are your special day.
Everyone looks forward to it
You decide what to do.
You decide what to eat.
Meals are planned ahead of time (along with lots of other planning to make sure the day is great!)
Gifts are given, for the birthday person.
So if you think of those same things and apply them to the sabbath.
The sabbath is special. It is God's special day.
We should look forward to it
We should do what he wants us to do.
He has a special meal - the sacrament that we eat and drink
We should plan our meals ahead of time. (Along with other planning)
We should give gifts to the Lord
Basically, the scriptures I read talk about the sabbath being a delight. I thought, do I delight in the sabbath the way I delight in birthdays? I work so hard to make birthdays special, and do I put that same effort into making the sabbath special? Do I plan and work ahead of time so that I can just relax and enjoy the birthday day, the same as I do on the sabbath? We shouldn't be hustling around. Clothes are picked out ahead of time. Meals are planned. The scriptures also teach that the sabbath is not about us. I think often times we say, 'Oh the sabbath! The day I can do whatever I want!" 'Sunday Funday' is one of my biggest pet peeves. But that's not the way we should look at it. We do what the Lord wants. Sure we could think of ourselves for other people's birthdays and give them a gift that we actually want. But that's selfish. You can't argue that. We should give them something that they would enjoy.
So anyway, I know there are some things I can improve upon. And just knowing the way I treat birthdays, it was helpful for me to look at them in the light that do I give enough attention to the Lord on His day. If we do it right, He will delight in the sabbath, but we can too, just like birthdays. ;)
"If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the Lord, honourable; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words: Then shalt thou delight thyself in the Lord" - Isaiah 28:13
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Freedom
I'm back! So I've had the impression to start up again. I'm looking forward to doing a weekly, at least monthly post. Some may be thoughts, some may be more of a devotional where I choose a topic that impresses me, research some and share insights.
First up, freedom! We just celebrated 4th of July and so naturally my thoughts have been on it. We were teaching our children why we celebrate the 4th of July and why America is so great. That night after fireworks when I was tucking the littles into bed, Ezra said, "Mom. I'm kinda sad." I asked why and he said, "Well, because, kids AREN'T free." I laughed and asked what he meant. "We don't get to do whatever we want whenever we want."
You can chuckle at that. And agree. And I'll come back to that, but first, some quick thoughts on freedom-
We talk about freedom as Americans. That we can dress the way we want, say what we want, worship how we want, and not get in trouble. Freedom.
We had made sure to point out earlier to the kids that just because you can, doesn't mean you should. For instance, saying hurtful things. Will you get thrown in jail? No. Is it being kind? No. Sometimes people get confused and do things, 'because they can. It's a free country!' However, we should be respectful. Respect should be taught with freedom. And I understand respect is a two-way road. Too often it is treated one-sided, but that's kind of a different topic altogether.
Unfortunately, not everyone is respectful, or smart, or good, or whatever you want to call it, so there are laws. They are for the general good. They often times protect yourself and others. You need to be 16 to get a drivers license. You need to obey the speed limit. More extreme, don't kill. :) You get the point, people generally agree with the fact that we can have laws, and still be a free country. It's a good thing.
Yet, somehow when we introduce rules, by the term alone, it takes away your freedom. Schools may have a set of rules and they are mocked for taking away one's 'freedom.' Take a minute to think about it. Religion is another hard-hit target. People don't like 'rules.' Even if it is for our own good, and in fact, brings more freedom, which too could be another topic.
But I wanted to address something different today, so I'm going to switch direction a little and go back to Ezra's original comment that night in bed. "We aren't free. We can't do whatever we want, whenever we want." And my first thought was, 'you are free to choose.' I was thinking along the lines of, yeah, ez, you can do whatever you want, but you may get in trouble if you do. Consequences exist, even in America. Some are natural. Some are enforced. But immediately after my mind went to the scripture mastery- "Men are free to choose liberty and eternal life through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil."-2 Nephi 2:25
ALL men are free. America is great. But God is greater. He is the one who had the plan to let us come to earth to choose for ourselves. Satan was the one who wanted to take that away from us. Just like in life where there are consequences to our choices, there are consequences to God's laws. We can either follow and receive eternal life. Or disobey and be captive to the devil.
I like to be able to teach my children about the blessings of living in America. But I want them to know the Plan of Happiness. Everyone on earth once lived with God. We "knew and worshipped Him, and accepted His Plan by which his children could gain earthly experience and progress toward perfection, and ultimately realize our divine destiny as heirs of eternal life." - The Family Proclamation His plan allows us to come to this earth to be tempted and tried and to exercise our agency to follow Christ's example. I hope and pray my kids will use that agency to make right choices, no matter what the law of the land may say. In our home I hope to help them see the blessings (consequences) that come from choosing the right. And ultimately receive the greatest blessing of all, eternal life. That is what I choose.
First up, freedom! We just celebrated 4th of July and so naturally my thoughts have been on it. We were teaching our children why we celebrate the 4th of July and why America is so great. That night after fireworks when I was tucking the littles into bed, Ezra said, "Mom. I'm kinda sad." I asked why and he said, "Well, because, kids AREN'T free." I laughed and asked what he meant. "We don't get to do whatever we want whenever we want."
You can chuckle at that. And agree. And I'll come back to that, but first, some quick thoughts on freedom-
Unfortunately, not everyone is respectful, or smart, or good, or whatever you want to call it, so there are laws. They are for the general good. They often times protect yourself and others. You need to be 16 to get a drivers license. You need to obey the speed limit. More extreme, don't kill. :) You get the point, people generally agree with the fact that we can have laws, and still be a free country. It's a good thing.
Yet, somehow when we introduce rules, by the term alone, it takes away your freedom. Schools may have a set of rules and they are mocked for taking away one's 'freedom.' Take a minute to think about it. Religion is another hard-hit target. People don't like 'rules.' Even if it is for our own good, and in fact, brings more freedom, which too could be another topic.
But I wanted to address something different today, so I'm going to switch direction a little and go back to Ezra's original comment that night in bed. "We aren't free. We can't do whatever we want, whenever we want." And my first thought was, 'you are free to choose.' I was thinking along the lines of, yeah, ez, you can do whatever you want, but you may get in trouble if you do. Consequences exist, even in America. Some are natural. Some are enforced. But immediately after my mind went to the scripture mastery- "Men are free to choose liberty and eternal life through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil."-2 Nephi 2:25
ALL men are free. America is great. But God is greater. He is the one who had the plan to let us come to earth to choose for ourselves. Satan was the one who wanted to take that away from us. Just like in life where there are consequences to our choices, there are consequences to God's laws. We can either follow and receive eternal life. Or disobey and be captive to the devil.
I like to be able to teach my children about the blessings of living in America. But I want them to know the Plan of Happiness. Everyone on earth once lived with God. We "knew and worshipped Him, and accepted His Plan by which his children could gain earthly experience and progress toward perfection, and ultimately realize our divine destiny as heirs of eternal life." - The Family Proclamation His plan allows us to come to this earth to be tempted and tried and to exercise our agency to follow Christ's example. I hope and pray my kids will use that agency to make right choices, no matter what the law of the land may say. In our home I hope to help them see the blessings (consequences) that come from choosing the right. And ultimately receive the greatest blessing of all, eternal life. That is what I choose.
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