Service

We watched this video in Relief Society a couple weeks ago. It's sweet. I remember the story when it was told, but I couldn't help but think as I watched it, 'what if they hadn't stuck around to see the man return and his reaction?' Would the second child still feel good about what he did?

Lots of times we do service, we do kind things, and we don't get to see the outcome. We don't see any change, but we will still feel good about what we did. I had the thought that is important to know. Those acts are kind and generous which will make you a better person, whether you see it or not.

My second thought after this one was the week before my husband told me I should call my Grandma. I asked why. He said, "I just felt like you should call your Grandma and when I get those thoughts I usually act on them." I decided to call her. There was nothing out of the ordinary, I wouldn't say she sounded extra happy to talk to me, but I am sure she still appreciated it. I have seen this happen a few times to my husband. He gets impressions to do something and he acts on them. He may say, "I felt like I was supposed to call you. Everything okay?" And sometimes the reaction from the person might be, "You're a weirdo. Yes I'm fine." (without actually saying that :) But he continues to follow those insights. I think that's great. And I felt like that is also something important to know.

Satan might try to make us feel stupid, that we were wrong, that we really didn't help anyone, but that isn't true. Kind acts are just that. Nothing changes that whether they may have 'really needed it' or not. Maybe the man in the video wasn't really poor. Should you be upset you gave him money? No. If you give a homeless man some money because you thought you should, then he goes and buys alcohol. You still did a kind act. You will be blessed for your charity. Not guilty of feeding his addiction. And we need to be sure to always act on those thoughts. If we do, Heavenly Father will know he can always use us, because he knows we will act.

So the last couple days my thought went back to this video, my impressions, and a new idea hit me. What about when our service is rejected. It's not, we don't get to see the good it brought, it's not, maybe they didn't really need it, but they didn't appreciate it at all. Sometimes when we do things trying to be kind, we'll be told, "You did it wrong." "I didn't want you to do it." etc. And it is really discouraging. It pretty much makes me feel like I don't want to do anything nice anymore. But again, that isn't the point of service.

Of course we all want to feel appreciated. When you do something hard, or sacrifice something, we love to hear the words, "Thank you." We're not asking for a gold medal, but acknowledgement that we did go out of our way is nice. That is a completely new subject. We just need to remember to show our gratitude. But back to the idea when you don't get it. And you get lectured on top of it, that is most difficult of all. And I have no real thoughts to help us get past that, besides what I've already said. That isn't the point of service, it is still making you a better person, Heavenly Father will be able to use you when someone needs it, and He is grateful. Always.

I hope I can be better at remembering those things and not let other's actions, or lack of them, Satan, or anything else deter me from being the kind, loving, giving, selfless, charitable person my Father in Heaven wants me to be.

Temple Work

On Wednesday, January 9, 2013 I was able to do something that was an amazing experience and I was so grateful that I was able to do - it was initiatories for my aunt that passed away from Alzheimers.

I will preface my experience with sharing a little of my Aunt's story. My aunt was diagnosed with Alzheimers at a young age, about 53. It progressed very rapidly and she was living with my Grandma, who was about 86 years old. It was extremely difficult on my Grandma, not only to be with someone who became upset, and sometimes violent so easily, but was incapable of caring for herself making a messy, dirty, frustrating environment. On top of that, my Aunt is a bigger lady, and my Grandma is quite small. My Grandma finally decided to move to Las Vegas to be closer to my mom and put my Aunt in a care facility. 

When my Aunt arrived there, it did not go well. She would yell at the workers, get in big fights, and they were ready to tell my Grandma, I’m sorry, we can not keep her here. After an outburst, security was called, she was taken to the hospital to try and re-diagnose medication. She became very violent with the hospital workers and she laid strapped down for a few days. It sounds awful when I hear my mother recount when she and my grandma would visit her. Tied to a bed, scared, yelling, screaming, trying to get free. I cannot imagine seeing your daughter like that. My aunt died a few days after arriving, so naturally, my grandmother felt a huge weight like she did something wrong and also worried her daughter passed away angry at her own mother, who only wanted to help her. 

Back to my story, I now share some of what I wrote in my journal-  As I walked into the temple, gave my recommend and entered past the desk I was filled with emotion. I was doing something for my aunt, that she could not have done for herself. President Hinckley describes that as the truest form of love. President Monson describes it as us being Saviors on Mount Zion. I did not know how long she had been waiting, but I knew that she had been waiting. My eyes began filling with tears as I walked into the women’s dressing rooms with just intense happiness and excitement for what was about to happen. I managed to get my emotions under control as I changed and sat to wait. But there was no denying the joy that was felt, not just from me, but from my Aunt as well. And there was more waiting. It made me realize that me sitting there waiting for half an hour, seemed so long. I was anxious. And how my aunt must feel, and everyone waiting for their temple work to be done.

It was finally time to be able to perform the washing and anointing ordinances. I took her card, which I had been staring at, her name, her birth date, and the blank space next to “Initiatory.” I walked into the room, sat, and I don’t know how else to describe it besides happiness. I read her name and blessings were given. Boyd K. Packer has stated describing them “promising definite, immediate blessings as well as future blessings.” I could feel that and know that to be true.

They are amazing blessings given, especially when you consider the way my Aunt passed away, suffering from an awful disease that attacks your mind. I had complete, whole gratitude my Aunt was able to receive these blessings I have previously been promised and be reminded that those blessings also apply to me.

I was grateful for temples. I was grateful I was worthy to enter to the temple. I was grateful for the spirit that was felt. I was grateful for the promises given. I was grateful for the restoration of the gospel, priesthood ordinances, and my Savior Jesus Christ.

After I got home, my sister was able to do the endowment for my aunt. My sister visited my Grandma the next day to tell her about her experience. When my sister arrived at the veil she was overcome and could not speak. When my grandma heard this, she got excited and asked, “This was yesterday?! … What time?” My grandma had been feeling very down and depressed about my aunt. BUT at the same exact time my sister got to the veil (according to my sister and grandma's conversation), my grandma felt a peace. She felt a weight lifted, that everything was okay. She did not need to feel guilty for anything, and my Aunt was happy.

I think it is wonderful that temples bless not only the person the work is being done for, but those that perform the work, and other family members (my Grandma and Mother). You don't have to be a member, or even have a real understanding of what is being done (my grandma is not a member either), but she was blessed. Heavenly Father’s plan truly is a plan of happiness and if we follow commandments, those blessings of happiness are available to all.

Dinner Time

This may be considered a rant...there's your warning. :)

In Relief Society we were talking about "Becoming Goodly Parents" from Elder Perry's last conference talk and one section included having dinner as a family. I love eating together as a family, and I'm grateful my parents always made the effort to eat together as a family. I think there are great things that can be shared as you spend that time together every day.

Elder Perry said "Eat together as often as possible, making dinner a time of communication and the teaching of values." The teacher shared her testimony that dinnertime can be a peaceful, uplifting, enjoyable time.

One sister laughed. "Peaceful?! Dinnertime is anything but peaceful!" Then she went on to say that at dinnertime people talked, sometimes laughed, sometimes yelled, food fights, crude jokes, standing on chairs, etc. It was chaotic, but that (her parents as a child, and now her as a parent) never lectured the kids. It was a place you could do whatever you wanted, say whatever you wanted, and knew you would be loved.

Everyone agreed. Dinner should be a "safe place."

I get her idea. And I'm not to saying that is not what you should do, but that is not what it needs to be. Call me old fashioned, but I think dinnertime is a time of communication, but also teaching of values. I believe children should learn, for one, etiquette. The dinner table is not a time to be crude, or loud. If you're not happy, if you're throwing a fit, you can leave the table and go to your room. Yes we eat with silverware. Teach manners. Some people  don't understand, or even know how to be proper at the dinner table. I have heard people share stories on how they were so embarrassed by certain missionaries. I don't want my boys to be those missionaries. :) So yes, I think great things can be taught and it is possible to have a peaceful, uplifting, and enjoyable time at the dinner table.

(Note, I have talked with this sister a few times when I've mentioned my kids being crazy at the table and her solution is always, 'They're kids. Is it really that big of a deal?' True, on some things, but that is her outlook on just about everything. And for me, yes, it is a big deal. I think kids need rules. I think kids need to learn how obey rules. I don't think it is necessary to let them do whatever they want so that home is a place they want to be. Anyway, rant complete. :)

Missionary Work

That is the name of the Visiting Teaching Message this month and I felt a peaceful confirmation as I read through it.

For some reason, this week I have debating with myself on several occasions. I keep seeing things on facebook where people question truth, whether they are genuinely searching for answers, or are just misguided, and I wonder, "Is it my responsibility to step in and share my testimony?" Or is that considered "hi-jacking" somebody's facebook post or being judgmental, etc.

Each time I have decided- I am sharing truth. That is not being judgmental. There is right and wrong, not decided by me, by our Heavenly Father, and we are told to stand for what is right.

EXAMPLE 1-

Sunday I had a friend post about a movie. For some reason I get more upset when members post about worldly things on a Sunday, that probably is being a bit judgmental, but I think Sundays should be different than other days and more time spent thinking about spiritual things, not some Rated R movie that is awesome. Anyway, One person's comment stated "We have a Clearplay dvd player, which edits out offensive content such as swearing, nudity, and violence. We rented ___ on Friday, and it ended up being a very short, confusing, and largely silent film." My friend's response was "If you can handle offensive stuff, which is probably a bad thing, then I strongly recommend the full version."

It made me sad. Is that really how he thinks? He can handle it. And it's probably a bad thing, not that it is, and then put this violent, filthy movie on a strongly recommend list... My thoughts, "No. Your spirit doesn't handle offensive stuff, ever. Therefore, should not be recommended." I knew this was right, but wanted to turn to the Brethren to make sure they would say the same thing. I looked up the Strength of Youth pamphlet, which we have been counseled numerous times applies to us as well which states

"Choose wisely when using media using whatever you read, listen to, or look at has an effect on you. Select only media that uplifts you. Satan uses media to deceive you by making what is wrong and evil look normal, humorous, or exciting. He tries to mislead you into thinking that breaking God's commandments is acceptable and has no negative consequences for your or others. Do not attend, view, or participate in anything that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way."

So I responded "Your spirit never handles offensive stuff. Strength of Youth strongly recommends not seeing the full version" and told my friend, we were still friends. :) You don't need to be rude, you don't need lecture them, but you can stand for what is right or share your testimony. I want to help others to not be deceived and that means speaking up.

EXAMPLE 2-

A friend posted "I haven't been to church in 5 weeks. One week we were out of town, the other 4 I have been called into work. Today I finally went and just during the passing of the sacrament  (15 minutes), I get two phone calls from work. No job is important enough to infringe on someone's spirituality. Time to find a new job..." That is nice! Good for him! But people's comments are saddening.

Instead of people commending him for standing for what is right, or offering sympathy, they are rude. He should be grateful he has a job. Just because he isn't as church doesn't mean he can't still be spiritual. Not to worry because he won't be considered inactive unless he doesn't go to a single meeting in a calendar month. Everyone just not seeing what he was saying. I didn't want to be rude to these people, but did not want my friend to feel bad about saying something so decided to respond- offering sympathy for his situation and applauding him for recognizing it. It isn't about being considered inactive, or not being spiritual elsewhere, nothing renews like taking the sacrament and seeing blessings that increase faith from making sacrifices and that I'd be praying the blessings come quickly ;0)

EXAMPLE 3-

A friend posted about her son's baptism and that he had received the Holy Ghost. Someone questioned "what does that mean he was given the gift of the Holy Spirit?" They were simply showing interest, and my friend tried to respond, but the girl still had questions, being clear she wasn't trying to 'poke fun' but just was trying to understand. Is it a ceremony? Does it automatically happen? Some people think you don't have it until you speak in tongues in public. Is it the same as people that say they were 'saved'"

My friend tried to reply to this girl's questions, but I felt like she was missing some points. I didn't want to step on my friend's toes by responding, but did want to try and help clarify anything, so decided to reply-

It is an ordinance and basically a prayer said by a Melchizedek priesthood holder. Anyone holding this priesthood can participate, and it is usually given by the father. Some people choose to do it immediately after the baptism, sometimes it is done the next day at church. They lay hands on the person's head, acting in the name of Christ and this is when they are officially made a member of the Church. They they say "Receive the Holy Ghost" which is inviting the person to receive that gift. The prayer is continued and the person may be blessed with anything the person feels to say (choose the right, be a kind example, etc) One of the Church's 12 apostles gave a talk about it if they were interested (and gave the link to Elder Bednar's Receive the Holy Ghost talk.

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I've just been impressed of the many ways to share the gospel in the last 2 days. And it is probably always that way, I just need to look for those opportunities, or not be shy when I see those opportunities. I like that the visiting teaching message says "Others whose lives will be blessed by the gospel surround us, and as we prepare ourselves, the Lord will use us" and it is "our purpose" to help save souls.

I want to be able to have the Lord use me and have the courage and faith to speak if I feel inclined. Jesus Christ will come again, and I want to help as many people be ready when that day comes.