But then I thought about it a little more when I was trying to decide what exactly I wanted to say. Solemn responsibility to love and care. Sure I love him. I love that I have him by my side. Forever. I don't plan on ever leaving him, obviously. :) I look forward to our future together. But... even though I feel that way, I don't know if I necessarily show that I feel that way. And it took my thoughts back to a General Conference talk I remember liking a lot by Linda K. Burton in the April 2015 Conference.
She starts her talk by saying how much we love to see the apostles and brethren of the church interact with their spouses. She gave a few little quotes where an apostle gushes over his wife. My favorite was from President Boyd K. Packer, speaking of his wife Donna, "Because of the office I hold, I have a solemn obligation to tell the truth: she's perfect." Isn't that great?! We hear that and smile and say, 'That's cute.' But it made me think of how I talk about my husband to other people. I think too often I fear that if I say anything positive I'm bragging. To me, clearly Jack is great, everybody already knows that, so I don't need to say anything, because then I'm just rubbing it in their faces that I have an awesome husband. :) I don't know how that sounds to people. I don't know if people think, "Oh, that's silly." Or if people, think, "Yeah, that's probably true." I just feel like in today's world we hear so much negativity and wives complaining of their husbands I avoid that and think that's good enough. But I think we need to hear the positive things about our husbands. The apostles do it. Clearly President Packer has a pretty awesome wife; I don't think you can have a calling like that unless you have a very supportive wife with a strong testimony and desire to serve and love. But that doesn't keep him from letting people publicly share that he adores his wife and that they have a good, strong marriage.
She then went on to talk about those of us with husbands that hold the priesthood. She gave another quote from President Packer when speaking to worthy husbands and fathers: "You have the power of the priesthood directly from the Lord to protect your home. There will be times when all that stands as a shield between your family and the adversary's mischief will be that power." And followed it up with a quote from Ezra Taft Benson, "Oh, husbands and fathers in Israel, you can do so much for the salvation and exaltation of your families! ... Remember your sacred calling as a father in Israel - your most important calling in time and eternity - a calling from which you will never be released." I love both of those. It really brings to focus how special our husbands are and how much we need to respect them and that office. Again, there is so much in the world of this 'girl power' - I believe in treating women with the same kind of respect, but we can not diminish men to raise ourselves up to their level. Let's acknowledge their strengths and that they can do things, we can not.
She then talked about how we need to work together to lift the rising generation and help them reach their divine potential as heirs of eternal life. I like that because the rest of that sentence in the Family Proclamation is, 'husbands and wives have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other, and their children." By us respecting our husbands and the office they hold we are helping our children and showing love for them. The way we treat our spouses is the way they will expect to be treated/and treat their own spouses. I'm not saying men are better than women, but we've all seen relationships where it's like, 'Oh, mom's the boss in that house' or 'Whatever Dad says goes.' And kids develop that mentality. They need to hear us compliment each other and not demean or constantly 'correct' the other. We work together. As opposites, and equals and I love the analogy she gave of her hands. Our 2 hands look very similar, and they can do similar things, but in reality, they are complete opposites. That is like us and our spouse. And our hands can do so much more and are so much stronger when they work together.
The last part of her talk I loved was a test of sorts to see how we are doing. Five questions we should ask ourselves are -
1. When was the last time I sincerely praised my companion, either alone or in the presence of our children?
2. When was the last time I thanked, expressed love for, or earnestly pleaded in faith for him or her in prayer?
3. When was the last time I stopped myself from saying something I knew could be hurtful?
4. When was the last time I apologized and humbly asked for forgiveness - without adding the words, "but if only you had" or 'but if only you hadn't"?
5. When was the last time I chose to be happy rather than demanding to be 'right'?
Aren't those great? I could expand and share thoughts on all of those questions and things I need to work on, but just contemplate them. I wanted to close with one last thought that came after a Stake Relief Society activity the week I went visiting teaching. President Uchdorf's daughter was coming to speak to us. And I was surprised to see that her mother, Sister Harriet Uchdorf joined her. They turned some time over to her in the meeting for her to share her testimony. And I just fell in love with her. One of the quotes Sister Burton included in her talk I referenced above was from President Uchdorf and what he said of his wife Harriet, "She is the sunshine of my life." I remembered reading that earlier that week and thought it was nice, but actually 'meeting' Harriet and hearing her I just thought, "Yes! I can clearly see that she is the sunshine in his life." She just exudes a happiness and joy in you from being around her and listening to her speak.
So I made the decision I want to be the sunshine in my husband's life. I think it is all too easy to complain to our spouses. We've had long, hard days. And in life we have to be so careful what we say around other people to not offend or whatever it may be, that our spouses are our safe spot. We can say anything to them and know they won't judge us and still love us. But, I just think I need to be careful of that and not make that what I am known for. Because my husband could probably say I'm the gloomy cloud in his life. :) I just feel so overwhelmed and want to vent and so he gets it. I don't share near enough positives. I saw a quote come up from Elder Holland, "There will always be more blessings than burdens -- even if some days it doesn't seem so." I hope I can see those blessings and share them with my husband and be his sunshine.
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