Is Heavenly Father Always Discouraged? Part 1

So February has been one of the busiest of my life, SOOO many things going on. But one of those things was my oldest son got baptized! Now I am normally someone that stresses about little things and my husband likes to call it being an 'idealist'. I like things to be perfect and want everyone to be happy all of the time. For my son getting baptized, I wanted him to be one of those little boys you look at and just think, 'wow, they have it together.' or 'they are so sweet.' or 'he must have great parents that teach him.' :) No, it wasn't all selfish reasons, but I feel like I (and my husband) have tried really hard to teach our children. We're smart people, diligent and dedicated to the gospel, we have family home evening every week and use daily opportunities to teach our children. Yet... they're still not perfect! Why?! Ha, now, you can laugh at it, but for me, it was a real struggle. For the last year it is a thought that constantly occupies my mind. "Noah is getting baptized next year! He shouldn't still ..." (lie about sneaking a cookie, or whatever it may be).

I have been stressed, and frustrated, disappointed a lot of the time and it has progressively gotten worse the closer to his baptism date it came. It bugs me so badly he refuses to sing the songs in sacrament meeting, or when I ask him to say a prayer he says no and will sit there for 15 minutes. I think, 'these things are not hard! If you can't do this you are going to fail in life!' But a couple things have helped me a little as I have been struggling with honestly, trying to be happy and looking forward to this day, and loving my son the way I want to.

One, my husband reminds me he is only eight years old. Eight years old. He's still young. Of course he isn't going to be perfect, and we still have another 10 years with him before he leaves the home-years full of teaching and learning. As I think about it, it makes me appreciate the gospel, that we don't have to be perfect to be baptized. That none of us are perfect and the gospel is a place for us to continually progress and learn. Let's be honest, some days I don't really feel like praying either. I can't stress about him not always choosing the right, when I don't either.

And it isn't until after we are baptized that we are really able to grow anyway. That is the FIRST step into following God's plan - it's the first ordinance we need to return to live with our Heavenly Father. And my kid made that choice. He made the decision to be baptized-we told him several times he didn't have to, so he's on the right path. Having the desire is a great beginning. It is after he receives the gift of the Holy Ghost that he can have it as a constant companion. The Holy Ghost is the agent that testifies of truth, activates the atonement and the ability to be cleansed from sin. He can now learn and understand what repentance is first-hand. He will learn and grow exponentially after he has this great gift from our Heavenly Father. And it made my heart happy that today, when we were in church, he opened the hymn book on his own, and sang all the words. It may sound small, but it meant a lot to me. It was a testimony to me that these thoughts and feelings I have are right - he really will learn and grow and I don't have to be so worried and think about his mishaps.

Along with that, if I look around at the world (which I don't condone comparing yourself to other people), but there is a lot of wickedness. There are a lot of people that do really not smart things. And those people, are Heavenly Father's children. Do I think he is up in heaven, always stressed and worried and frustrated about all the wrong things his children are doing? Yes I think it is disheartening and he wants the best for all of us, but I think he is also the happiest person. He does not let the discouraging choices of his children take over his mind and thoughts. He is still able to see the good and be happy with the small accomplishments they make. I have felt the need to be more like my Heavenly Father in just, being happy. Not focusing on what is wrong, but really loving my children and what they are doing right.

So focusing on our Heavenly Father's relationship with his children helps me learn about my relationship with my children. I can still be happy. I can still find joy. I can see their potential. And rejoice in every step forward. Noah is making forward steps.